I am feeling a greater sense of connecting right now. For a start there is being in touch with Him and that process of getting to know each other. There is the feeling that He is enjoying finding out about me, my life and submission as much as i am about him. Of course, me being me – a person not averse to talking about herself – He is finding out way more about me than i am about him. But more information from his side will come.
I am also feeling a greater sense of connecting to my submission and in getting feedback on how that looks and feels to another. He keeps talking about my willingness to worship him and his cock. First of all, i thought he had been here reading my blog, but He tells me that He is avoiding coming to read it on purpose as He knows this will be where I explore my feelings. For now I can’t pretend that I am glad about that. I definitely need that space.
I have had a couple of fetlife emails recently from people who have read my blog. Who knew that people would find what i say interesting and in even a small way useful. I am particularly interested in their responses as in the main they come from Doms. My online sub friends generally post here rather than mailing so this is different. It is so important though to connect to others – one of the greatest joys of this world is that connection with others. The level of understanding and of non judgemental thoughts (even when others don’t necessarily agree with what you do or say).
I went out with a real life friend last evening (an ex work mate) who has been an amazing support with the whole hubby / S thing. She has no idea of the D/s side of things but is in no doubt of the importance of connection and of sex within a relationship.
After months of mainly writing in a negative way i feel very positive. That i am moving in the right direction in so many ways and that reconnecting as i am with my thoughts and feelings around submission is the right way to go.
Just hoping that for at least a while, nothing bursts my bubble…….