This is my 200th post on World of Joolz.
It is amazing to think that when I started this blog I was essentially living something of a dream. Something new and amazing had happened in my life, something I had kind of wanted to happen, but had been too frightened in the past to actually do. I was on a voyage of discovery, about who I was, about the person I can be.
In April last year, when I wrote my first post, everything was new – the relationship, the whole idea of having sex with someone who wasn’t my husband and indeed the type of relationship it was emerging into. S and I had spent lots of time online and on the phone chatting, but we had only met the once. We had spent that first evening and night together but nothing else. I was yet to experience the thrill of humiliation, to discover how pain and pleasure are so closely linked. I was yet to discover so much about him and the kind of relationship we could and would have together. Indeed I had never tasted his cooking or experienced his amazing picnics. I didn’t realise how beautiful the area in which he lives is. There was so much to discover and discover I did.
A couple of days after our relationship ended I started my year two page. I had been waiting for the right moment, the right inspiration, and now in a way I hadn’t anticipated I now had it. Re-reading it last night, I was surprised that I was able to write so clearly when my heart felt just that little bit smashed to pieces.
Two weeks later and I can look back on events with a sense of pride and satisfaction and hopefully soon I will be ready to move on. Meantime, as I pass this land mark (and that’s how it feels), I am wondering how this blog will look in another 200 posts? What further progress will I make, what will I be writing about, after all for now there is no sex in my life, let alone BDSM or any of its constituent parts.
I have plenty to be going on with mind. S and i are still friends, now able to chat freely with each other without me feeling I want to cry. I have a new job, secured this week and which I will be starting in the next week or so (more hours, more money than the work I have recently been doing). I have my apartment in France, which I will own this week and which I will be visiting with my son next weekend. I have my weight loss to concentrate on (10.5lb so far), and I have my friends.
The key part of my life that is different from April 2012 when I started this blog, is that I have discovered so many friends. I have developed friendships with people I already knew but wasn’t all that close to. I have met new people through this blog and through fetlife, friends that I am now quite close to. Plus there are the people I have never met, but whom I have communicated through this and their own blogs and who I think if I met I would be friends with.
Here’s to World of Joolz, onwards into the future. I am here and I am here to stay!