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This is my 200th post on World of Joolz.

It is amazing to think that when I started this blog I was essentially living something of a dream. Something new and amazing had happened in my life, something I had kind of wanted to happen, but had been too frightened in the past to actually do. I was on a voyage of discovery, about who I was, about the person I can be.

In April last year, when I wrote my first post, everything was new – the relationship, the whole idea of having sex with someone who wasn’t my husband and indeed the type of relationship it was emerging into. S and I had spent lots of time online and on the phone chatting, but we had only met the once. We had spent that first evening and night together but nothing else. I was yet to experience the thrill of humiliation, to discover how pain and pleasure are so closely linked. I was yet to discover so much about him and the kind of relationship we could and would have together. Indeed I had never tasted his cooking or experienced his amazing picnics. I didn’t realise how beautiful the area in which he lives is. There was so much to discover and discover I did.

A couple of days after our relationship ended I started my year two page. I had been waiting for the right moment, the right inspiration, and now in a way I hadn’t anticipated I now had it. Re-reading it last night, I was surprised that I was able to write so clearly when my heart felt just that little bit smashed to pieces.

Two weeks later and I can look back on events with a sense of pride and satisfaction and hopefully soon I will be ready to move on. Meantime, as I pass this land mark (and that’s how it feels), I am wondering how this blog will look in another 200 posts? What further progress will I make, what will I be writing about, after all for now there is no sex in my life, let alone BDSM or any of its constituent parts.

I have plenty to be going on with mind. S and i are still friends, now able to chat freely with each other without me feeling I want to cry. I have a new job, secured this week and which I will be starting in the next week or so (more hours, more money than the work I have recently been doing). I have my apartment in France, which I will own this week and which I will be visiting with my son next weekend. I have my weight loss to concentrate on (10.5lb so far), and I have my friends.

The key part of my life that is different from April 2012 when I started this blog, is that I have discovered so many friends. I have developed friendships with people I already knew but wasn’t all that close to. I have met new people through this blog and through fetlife, friends that I am now quite close to. Plus there are the people I have never met, but whom I have communicated through this and their own blogs and who I think if I met I would be friends with.

Here’s to World of Joolz, onwards into the future. I am here and I am here to stay!

7 thoughts on “200 not out”

  1. Thanks Fondles, my blogging sister.

    Definitely hanging around, just not sure what the conversation will be?

    Maybe it will be an advert for the apartment in france; ever thought of a holiday in Europe?


  2. you're an amazing woman. gratz on 200, and i'm still keeping my fingers crossed that you'll heal more and more as the days go past. it's wonderful to hear about the new job and the house in FRANCE????? WOW! awesome news. AND i'm so glad to hear that you'll be sticking around *hurray*

  3. Thanks DelFonte,

    I am mostly positive, but then it is only 2 weeks and we wouldn't yet have got together again. Sometimes I think you just have to take the positives from a situation and being friends still is more important to me right now.

    J xx

  4. Thanks Kitty, yes it seems quite a lot, though I am by no means a prolific poster!

    I am sure I have written about it, but I couldn't find a suitable post when I was just looking. We met in a chatroom, chatted online that evening and perhaps the next and then on the phone. Within 2 weeks I had thrown caution to the wind and met him in a hotel. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that I was approaching 50 that made me do such a thing. We spent that night together and a couple of weeks later I visited him at his house. The rest they say is history!

    Maybe I'll do another post sometime with a few more details.

    J xx

  5. Well done on 200.
    You seem to be keeping a positive frame of mind given how difficult the last few weeks have been. Enjoy your time in France and I hope you have good memories for the next 200 or so posts.

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