Many of the things i have found i love to do for (and with) Sir are things that hubby has always wanted me to do for him. Indeed it is not true that before i met Sir I had never worn stockings and heels for hubby, it is just that i complained about the idea of it. At the same time, i have sucked hubby’s cock, but again, i just didn’t really enjoy it. He tends to cum quickly, and i found the idea of that happening before i was even turned on repulsive. In time this led to me refusing to suck him, refusing to dress up, refusing to do anything that would please him.

It wasn’t that i didn’t want to make him happy, far from it. But i couldn’t see what was in it for me. He has never learnt to touch me in a way that arouses, but throws this back at me, since i should have told him, taught him, shared with him how.

Now he knows the kind of things i will gladly do for Sir he is unsurprisingly jealous. What is more he says he is humiliated that people might find out that he is unable to satisfy me.

In fact, i did not stray because of that reason, well not just for sex. Rather, i looked for a whole range of experiences i wasn’t getting at home.

i wanted someone to take control of situations, to make decisions to tell me what we should do and how we should do it. At the same time i wanted to feel cared for, to be stimulated not just sexually but emotionally and intellectually. i wanted conversations that didn’t include football. i wanted to walk to talk, to find out who i was.

What i found was a D/s relationship, one that i didn’t know i needed and one which for the past 15 months has sustained me. I found sex, amazing kinky sex. I found orgasms, humiliation, exhibitionism. But i also found friendship, someone who seemed to understand me and who in turn i could return the favour.

Hubby is jealous of the sex that he perceives (often quite rightly) that Sir and i enjoy. But perhaps he has a right to be jealous, just not of the things he thinks about,

i have some fun things to look forward to this week. i am really looking forward to some summer fun! More, much more to come……

8 thoughts on “Jealousy”

  1. Yes tori he has and in a way he has done nothing wrong. I have just begun to realise that things between us were never right. For that I feel very very sad.

  2. I think he does care, he just isn't very good at handling reality. He is very worried about what people think, where as I am over that! People can take me or leave me.

  3. Its different i think because dominants give off that 'vibe' perhaps, that key into our desires, its fresh, its new and exciting…its not comfy old pjamas lol

    Its an adjustment, part of me can understand your husbands reactions, he has had a lot to get his head around and yeah i think it is natural he is going to question what he has done wrong, why couldnt you be like this for him etc…wouldnt anyone?

    Good to hear that you actually sound adjusted to it all.


  4. *hugs* enjoy the coming week…

    and don't even get me started on trade offs. as far as im' concerned anything i do has to have a trade off. it might or might not be "fair" in other people's books, but it has to be worth it to me.

    and i get why you didn't / don't think doing all the things for hubby wasn't worth it the way it IS worth doing it for Sir.

    *stepping off my soapbox now*

  5. It almost sounds that he is more concerned about what people will think of him and his masculinity than the fact that he has lost you, for what reason he doesn't care. What do you think?

Your thoughts are always welcome

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