Back to the 30 days. I have delayed continuing this series because I wasn’t sure what to write. The person I have most pride in is my son. He has turned into a kind and thoughtful young man who has demonstrated that hard work in your studies really does pay off. It took him a long time to persuaded that he had the potential to achieve, but once that happened (when he was around 17), he never looked back. I will be the proudest mum ever when he graduates this summer.
I am also proud of the way he is handling things between his father and I. He has already told me that he loves us both and won’t take sides. He has not pushed for details about the reasons for our difficulties and I have not burdened him with them. What he thinks deep down may be revealed in the fullness of time.
There are a number of changes taking place in my life as I approach the possibility of the end of my 28 year marriage. I have also recently lost my job, as I have already said. This offers me risks, but also opportunities. I have already identified that I don’t have the friends around me that I would have wished for. So many have fallen by the wayside. But I am now trying to form new friendships and have already been reasonably successful. I have a couple of friends I have met through fetlife, with whom I meet regularly for lunch / coffee and a chat. I also exchange emails and chat, and I have started to form a friendship with a lady who is part of a couple Sir and I will soon play with. But my social world needs to extend further and I have joined an organisation through which I can meet people socially and have arranged to go on a walk next Saturday and a treasure hunt kind of thing at the end of the month.
My instinct during all of these troubles is to sit at home and complain that my husband has taken offence to the choices I started to make last year and is more often than not absent. But sitting at home and moaning will do nothing. That is what led me to the situation in which I find myself. So it is time to live my life, to do new things and that is something of which I hope to be proud.