Time for days and 18 and 19 of submission. This series is feeling longer than it did at the beginning, not that i am sure why i didn’t realise this since 30 days is pretty much a month. Any case doing them 2 at a time seems pretty sensible right now!
Very often the stereotype of submission is that the submissive person loses the ability to have an opinion. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your submission and how do you communicate your desires and needs?
Lots of discussion and planning goes into deciding on what we might / will do together. During these planning times i freely express what i desire and or need. We play out scenes, or just discuss what will happen. If we are playing out a scene online for example, then He will take the lead as he would if it were happening in real time, but there will be more discussion. On one side i may suggest something and he will pick it up and follow through, or else he may gently push me so that my limits have changed by the next time we meet.
We don’t have the kind of relationship where by he is telling me what to do all day, often we don’t communicate for a few days, then at other times there will be emails, texts or be will chat on yahoo messenger. We have settled into this routine and i think it suits us right now.
How socially connected is your submission? Do you look for others to talk to about your submission for support or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?
i don’t have anyone within my everyday life in whom i can discuss my submission or any other part of the relationship with Sir. This is why blogging has been such an amazing revelation to me. I love finding out what my fellow bloggers are up to, contributing to their blogs and having everyone visit here and leave their thoughts and comments.
I have had a few online chats with people i have met on fetlife and through blogging and that definitely helps. Friendships develop over time, not over night, but i expect these to develop a bit more over time. i have to be careful contributing to online discussions on fetlife, since on some forums people are very judgemental about relationships which take place outside of marriage (if one or both of the parties are married to another).
i haven’t been to any munches etc, and would be nervous to go to such events on my own. i think Sir and i might go to them together if it wasn’t for the fact that we live a bit too far apart. At present i can live with the lack of social input, but i think that in the future i would like that to change. Discussing TTWD is one thing, and discussing the fact that this is conducted outside of my marriage is something else. Putting the two together might be a step too far.