i thought i would give the blog hop challenge over on Submissive guide a go this month. Never one to do things in advance, i am writing this today and the closing date is today. mind you, with the time difference, i still have 10 hours to go.
So the question is – Are you a quiet obedient submissive or is there an element of playful brattiness in your dynamic? How would you describe your submissive personality? How does your owner encourage or enhance who you are?
Master tells me that i am very submissive at times. i wear what he wants me to wear and generally do as he wants me to do even if what i am being asked to do is uncomfortable. i do these things because i want to and because i trust him and his judgement. Over the last 5 months (give or take a week or so) i have learned to submit more and more to his will. From the first time that i touched myself in a public place and told him that i was a slut, i have been thrilled at the idea of being owned in this way. i have dressed as a maid and taken photos of myself. i have dressed in a short skirt that just about covered my bare backside on more than on occasion, i have submitted to being tied to his bed and spanked. i have worn a butt plug to a meeting at work and to walk around a supermarket at lunch time. All of these things (and others) have been done with a minimum of argument.
However i am no walkover. i am not completely submissive in all of my life all of the time. Ok so i am not in a 24/7 relationship with Sir, but even so i do tell him when i think things are unreasonable, too painful or if i thing something just isn’t possible. i meet him on my terms and we discuss things outside of the scenes we play as equals. I also have my home life, work, running the household etc. Sir would probably say i am much too submissive to hubby, as i do too many things he should do himself (laziness is his problem), but i do so for a quiet life. I spent too much of my marriage fighting and don’t wish to do it anymore.
i love to be submissive, i know i am submissive by nature, but that doesn’t mean that i don’t have my own will or that i don’t use it. What is great though is that Master continues to push me, to explore the things that i think i don’t want to do and actually find i not only can but want to. i guess that is all part of the journey to find out who i am. What is more it is something i love!
Updating ‘my journey’ page this morning and thinking about how far i have come since April. i was wondering if the changes in me are hidden from those close to me, or if they can see that i am different.
i suspect i am not overtly different. i continue to do my job, to apply my high standards to the work i do there. i chat to my colleagues at work, discuss all of the same things that were discussed before, but i don’t think they would guess there is something new going on in my life. Unless of course they can see that i am happier, more fulfilled.
My family notices nothing i am pretty sure. i am still the wife, cooking and cleaning, doing the housework, shopping, keeping things clean and reasonably tidy. If hubby thinks there is anything strange in some of my later nights out or away he has said nothing. He hasn’t altered his behaviours, hasn’t become more helpful at home, hasn’t sought out my body. If he notices that my pussy is being kept pretty much shaved the whole times he hasn’t said so, even though he used to suggest such a thing in the past.
i realised today that i have changed in my choice of the clothes i wear each day. Even when i am not going to be seeing Sir (and that is most days) i want to wear clothes that i think he would like. Even for summer i have worn skirts and dresses more than usual (particularly as it hasn’t been the best of summers weather wise). i always avoided stockings, particularly those requiring suspender belts, but now i find that my underwear draw contains a whole range of them. i find myself in different shops, looking at the underwear and imagining Sir’s hands on me as i wear them.
Then there is the issue of the pierced nipples. i really want to get this done and know where i will go for the piercing. i am just nervous of the conversation with hubby and am almost minded just to wait until winter and get it done without telling him. Then to wait and see how long before he notices. I have breast screening coming up soon ( oh the joys of being this lovely age) and after that i will give it some serious thought.
So even if those around me think i am the same person i was in April, the experiences i have had, the amount of time i have spent considering my new role with Sir, means that i believe i have changed. Those changes may be mainly internal, but one thing is for sure i feel a whole lot better about myself and i have someone who appreciates those changes. For that i am grateful.