Why do I let myself get wound up?

I didn’t hear from Sir until last evening. Not one word from when i left His house on Friday night, until 7.20pm last night (Monday). He had been busy with family, firstly with his mum and then his children who are still quite young. He seems a great dad who does lots with his kids, He is the kind of dad I wished for my own son and didn’t always get (not that hubby has been in anyway bad, just not creative or massively active). Then on Monday He was working (as of course was I).

i knew this was likely the case, but because i had sent a text to let him know i was safely home, an email to say thanks for a great day on Saturday, then a text on Monday morning to ask if all was ok and got no replies i worked myself up into a state of angst.

One version of my mad mind had Him ill, dead or in some way incapacitated. Another had him deciding that i was not to be bothered with (though he bought me the lovely lingerie and gave no impression he was repulsed by me, quite the contrary). Finally i decided i was probably doomed to spend the next few weeks, months, years even carrying on with the dullness that is my current home life.

Of course deep inside i knew the truth. Last night i gently chided Him that i was a bit worried that i hadn’t heard from Him (without going over board). i did feel a little silly though, just as i should!

3 thoughts on “Why do I let myself get wound up?”

  1. Thanks both of you.

    Fondlers Anonymous, great to make your acquantance too; i am pretty sure we will meet often!

    Tori, i hope that people are less judgemental and great to meet you too!


  2. I wouldnt worry too much about people judging, although i have to say i havent found much of that in blogworld i have wandered if the very nature of this lifestyle makes people more open and less judgemental? dont know just throwing a few thoughts around.

    Dont beat yourself up about getting wound up, in your mind it was justified,it shows you care because you were anxious and perhaps a bit insecure? happens to the best of us.

    look forward to hearing more of your journey


  3. first of all, NO ONE judges. That's the one thing i've learnt from my time in blogland. I've made supportive friends. and it seems everyone has the "same" kinda thoughts.

    There are enough of us in "unconventional" relationships that you don't have to feel weird that you're getting this sort of intimacy from outside your marriage (I think).

    as for trying not to fall in love and almost spilling it? well. Yeah. i wrote about that too.

    feeling bad that you're living a double life? yeah. been there too.

    wondering why he doesn't call you? uh huh. feeling as if you're undesirable (despite the lovely lingerie he gifted you?) yep!

    I call my blogroll a collective of subs (like the borg) LOL.

    Glad to make your acquaintance, and thanks for including me in your blogroll !

    see you soon.. and see you often, i hope!

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