It is probably impossible to embark on any relationship without an emotional attachment forming as time passes. Up until now, i have tried to keep those thoughts from my mind (unsuccessfully at times i will admit). Yesterday, for me, seemed different. Yesterday evening i was almost overwhelmed with feelings while lying in bed with Master. To the extent that i wanted to say things that i am not sure it is yet time to say.
We started in the way described in my previous post and quickly found ourselves in the bedroom – i was wearing the new lovely lingerie Sir had bought, also wearing some new killer heels i had bought specially. i was collared, clamped and tied to his bed. Once i was allowed my first orgasm they just came one after the other and within an hour he had claimed me – he is the only person i have had anal sex with and this is way of laying claim to my body. He was (and i told him) very dominant and i was particularly submissive; we are getting better at our respective roles.
After a very late and very pleasant meal provided by Sir, we retired back to bed and picked up pretty much where we had left off. Sir is massively attentive to my needs and he spent so much time yesterday making sure that those needs were being met. That in turn meant i was better able to meet his needs. Until yesterday Master had not orgasmed inside my pussy, but that is what happened, with me on top in the most wonderful way, as instructed. I also overcame my gag reflex for a pretty significant (imho), and well performed deep throat fellatio.
We then spent a couple of hours (broken by some tea and chocolate at some point during the early evening) just lying there kissing and touching and that is when i just wanted to tell him that i loved him.
Having feelings for a man that is not your husband is quite a tricky thing to consider. Even when you have entered into a socially illicit relationship with that man. i didn’t really go looking for someone to have a specific relationship with. He offered me the opportunity to try something new, to explore new perspectives in my mind and body, and boy have i? i am not sure if i expected to develop these feelings, i didn’t really consider it. Lying there with him, and overwhelmed by those feelings, i struggled to understand whether i felt that way because i had just experienced the most amazing sex or because they were real feelings. For this reason and because i am kind of nervous of broaching the subject with him, i said nothing.
Well nothing is not quite true. He had said earlier about all of this being ‘a bit of fun’. i had agreed, after all, we are definitely having lots and lots of fun at that moment. But while we were lying there and i was feeling as i was, i said: ‘this is more than a bit of fun isn’t it?’ He didn’t answer, but he did kiss me again, deeply and for a good period of time. Definitely not time to discuss feelings at that moment.
This morning, i am over 100 miles away. I wish i was still with him, and i was this close to not getting out of that bed last night, he certainly reluctantly let me go. The feelings remain, but then i am still turned on, still wet. My nipples and pussy is still sore, my arse still remembers what happened.
Where is this going? Who knows? I still feel great love for him this morning and for now that will suffice!
In a day or so, i will write something about this in ‘the journey’ page.