I have decided that my life is complicated enough that i would be well advised not to get involved in more than one extra maritial affair at a time. I also think that keeping that relationship slightly at arms length and on a more sexual level is what i am most comfortable with right now. I am going to tell A (the serious guy who hasn’t spoken on the phone to me or met me and who wants me to wear a collar for him) that i am not yet ready for this kind of committment. I suspect that once i gave him my phone number he would be pretty intense. I have enjoyed our chats and he sure has a way of getting a girl to open up. But it feels like too much too soon.
I am seeing Master again on Wednesday. I do feel guilty about the way in which i am currently deceiving hubby, but i am going to go ahead and do it anyway. For the second time in a couple of weeks i am taking annual leave to do this and i know that is something i can’t make a habit of. For once in my life i am really putting my wants, needs and desires before anyone else and that in itself is quite scary and unusual. Generally my life is at the beck, call and mercy of others. Master makes me feel good in a way no man ever has and i think for once i am going to be selfish and enjoy it while i can.
Master loves that i am experiencing new feelings and that i love what we are able to do together. I know that he feels that he owns that part of me already and since i am consumed with those feelings for a good part of the time that he owns much more of me than that. I don’t know how any of this will pan out but i know that i must just live for each day and enjoy what i have. There will be more to say after Wednesday!