What do you see?

Yesterday someone I have known since we were young student nurses together sent me a photo. In it I am around 18 or 19, young, slim and carefree. I can still remember being that person, and think I know what I saw when looking in the mirror back then. I have never been one to gaze at myself in the way people often seem to today. I use the mirror to check my hair, or to apply make-up (on the rare occasions I wear any). But I know that my face was unlined, I know that I possessed more freckles on my nose and face than I wanted to see. I know that my eyes were blue and I know that my nose was small and slightly upturned at the tip. This is still the case unlike the colour of my hair, which is no longer the shiny auburn it was then. No hair dye ever brings that colour back.

Mostly I feel the same as I did then. I don’t feel weighed down by the many years and experiences that have occured since then. Ok, so I have aches and pains that I never seemed to have then. My body is 37 years older after all. When I look in the mirror at myself I can still see that young girl somewhere, but she is much less visible. I wonder if I look the age I am, younger or older. It is so difficult to tell that about yourself. I think that I should dye my hair as there is grey growing at the sides and roots. I wonder if my eyes are less blue, though people tell me that when I wear certain colours it makes my eyes look really blue. Are my lips thinner and my face fatter? Probably.

But does any of this matter? I have a man in my life who tells me that I am beautiful. Who proclaims that when I orgasm I express pleasure through my face. A man who makes me laugh and with whom I am beyond happy. When I look in the mirror I see someone who is happy with their life. That is enough.



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Author: Julie

50 something woman, exploring life and enjoying new adventures. This website is a record of a journey from vanilla wife and mother through two new relationships. This woman is now a collared slave called MPB and is owned and controlled by her Master. A mixture of true events and memes it is often of a sexual nature and is not safe to view at work. Next things to try will be fiction. Watch this space.

6 thoughts on “What do you see?”

  1. I think it’s really wonderful to be as confident as you are. My husband loves me just the way I am, but I am forever bringing myself down. Or rather, I have my moments when I bring myself down. My relationship with a mirror is an up and down thing…

    Rebel xox

    1. Thanks Rebel. I am not sure I am all that secure when faced with what I see in the mirror, however I know that he likes what he sees and I am learning to accept that.

  2. Beautiful! You are so fortunate. I have a similar situation. I’m in my early 50’s, and on my second marriage, with my dream come true of a man. I would never want to go back to my old self for anything. I love my life now. It’s wonderful when life keeps getting better and we can appreciate what we have!

  3. I can really relate to what you are saying – I am happy, my man and I have a good life together – the mirror reflects an older me but I can cope with that most of the time 😉

    1. Yes, that is exactly it. I probably would like to see something closer to the young me in the mirror, but it isn’t going to happen. Be happy with what you have has to be the thing.

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