Submissive Coffee Club #176

SCC Writing prompt
Prompt Set #176
 Are you happy with quiet and graceful submission or do you sometimes long to be tamed?
I am not sure I am particularly quiet or graceful, indeed last night on Skype I was accused (quite rightly) of talking over Master when he is trying to say something. I can’t seem to help my need to get out my own view, and I know I really have to stop doing it. I am maybe acting out a little bit, since he is currently away and I am here doing the mundane stuff of going to work etc. I am probably better when we are together and I can feel the effects of his dominance over me more effectively. In turn, he probably ought to be a little stricter with me, but I guess that would take some work. In general though he is pretty good at keeping me in line.
Do you act out just to feel the reassurance of your Dominant’s power over you?
Not really, or certainly not knowingly. Having said that, I do find his power reassuring and I know that he finds my submission and his power erotic. After close on two years together, I suppose we have just settled into what feels right for us.
Why can extra structure feel good when the world outside your submission is stressful?
I think that extra structure helps me to refocus on what is important in life and makes me remember who and what I am. The only really important thing is that I am his slave and it is good for me to remember that. Serving him is my purpose in life and that is where my focus should be. By reminding me of those things, I am easily brought into line, Physical things, like wearing my plug or a posture collar, or even kneeling also help.

SCC Writing prompt #164

The thing that always pulls me back into the submissive mindset is when Master refers to me as girl, rather than saying for example ‘you’ or using my given name (though to be honest he doesn’t often do that). I am always girl, or this girl, in bed and during a scene; it is my slave name. There are plenty of other names I am called – slut, bitch, cunt; but always girl. If Master reminds me that I should be referring to myself as ‘this girl’, well then that is enough to stop me dead in my tracks and to comply with his wishes. I have to admit I find it interesting that this is the case since I know well I am a woman, a middle aged woman, but to him I am girl; this girl. Of course if he should refer to me as ‘good girl’, well then I am in my element. A swooning submissive slave girl.

The collar is my real world trigger. It is made of titanium and so is not as heavy as a collar made of steel. There are times, whole hours worth of time, when I forget I have it on. I might catch sight of myself in the mirror and there it is plain as day. A sign of slavery, ownership; submission. Sometimes I wonder why the collar of my dress / shirt feels so heavy, and realise it is the collar. Then there are the times I wake with the collar in an odd position and think about the fact I am his slave. After 4 months or so of wearing the collar I can truly say that it continues to add to my feelings of submission. I love wearing it and love the fact that he and I know what it means and also that there are people out there who also know. I also like the fact that 99% of the people who encounter me during my daily life have no idea, most don’t even notice more than some chunky jewellery.

My go to remedy every time would be the butt plug. There is something about the cool metal slipping into the space where you feel nothing should probably be placed. The pressure that you need to apply to get it to ease past the tightness of the anal sphincter and the feeling as it pops into place. Then the feeling of fullness and the effect it seems to have on my general wellbeing. The way it relaxes me and helps me think about who and what I am. Plus, yes, the way it reminds me of what else finds its way into that very space. Master knows the effect the plug has on me, and will instruct me to insert it when he feels I am getting just that little bit bratty, anxious or both.

Submissive Coffee Club – Prompt set #148

Unlike much of what you find on Tumblr, the Submissive Coffee Club is a place where you can find thought provoking and interesting thoughts posted by submissives. Twice a week, a prompt is published and submissives are invited to link to them through the #sccwriting hashtag. I have used some of the prompts here and on my Tumblr blog before, and in the absence of very much going on in my life right now, here is another.
Secrets
If you were told a secret, would you keep it from your Dominant to respect the confidence?
It really would depend what the secret was and from who. Some secrets are trivial and some are serious. Some secrets can become a burden and so being able to share can be useful. You need to be able to trust the person you might tell. I don’t feel the need to tell Master everything, but he is probably the person I keep the least from. I have utmost trust in him. I know that he could be trusted to keep a secret and if he felt I would be burdened by knowing something might prefer that I told him. On the other hand, I doubt he would be upset if I kept a secret to myself if I felt that it was best to do so and it wasn’t going to cause me any kind of distress.
Do you have secrets that you don’t share with your Dominant?
Keeping secrets from each other when you are in a serious, loving relationship is not a good thing. They can be the source of misunderstandings, of mistrust and can lead to unpleasant situations. I feel no need to keep secrets, indeed I really like to share experiences with Master. Not communicating properly caused many of the problems in my relationship with my husband and I wouldn’t choose to go there again.
What sorts of secrets might your Dominant be okay with?
He wouldn’t worry about things that are trivial, or are to do with things or people he doesn’t know or isn’t involved with. Having said that, I can’t think of any particular thing I would need to keep from him.
“Nothing weighs on us so heavily as a secret.”  Jean de La Fontaine


post script: Thinking about things on the way to work this morning. To be frank the only things I really would keep from Master is the ‘secrets’ that need to be maintained through work. But essentially we call that confidentiality. I work in the English health service and am a nurse by profession. Sometimes, I just can’t share with anyone things that I have heard / learned. Today I received some information no in the public domain, twice. Not only is it confidential, but to be frank it is not interesting to Master. But even if it were, what is the point?

Spank week – submissive coffee club prompt #121

Our relationship is not really about spanking, though it does feature. This is an M/s relationship which is about the exchange of power and control. It is about sex, in whatever way He chooses and it is about me serving Him. But it is also a loving  relationship and it is about doing regular things, some fun and some mundane. But spanking is always a possibility.
I haven’t been really been punished, but if I was it is doubtful spanking would be first choice. I suspect he might think I would enjoy it too much!
In my experience spanking is pretty painful once you get past the first few. But the thing about pain is that it is pretty close to sexy, intact pain and sex go hand in hand for me. Hence why it wouldn’t be a good punishment.
Clip from tumblr

SCC #118

I think that it would be true to say that since my life is now evenly spread between Master and family with little time for others, my only other place for support is probably my brothers and my mum. Since she and I have always had difficulties in relating to each other and since she is the one who is much more vulnerable right now, it is unlikely I would go to her if I were in need. Having said that, I have a couple of friends who would listen if I needed it, just as I would and have done for them.

I have begun to realise that I need the support of others and that it isn’t necessarily a weakness to do so. The way I am able to communicate with Master is probably different to my past relationships. We have opened ourselves up to each other and as far as I can see that is a good thing.
A D/s relationship is in the end a relationship. Therefore a dominants need to turn to someone is the same as any other person. I am not just his submissive but his friend, his confidant and his lover. If he needs another person, then fine, but if not, I am there not just as his submissive.

Submissive Coffee Club #117

This has already happened in our relationship. There have been times when Master has acknowledged that my help has been required, though maybe not at the time. He is not a man who takes kindly to being ‘told what to do’. I found that if I gave Him the space and the time and didn’t push too hard, then He really did let me in.

When He didn’t readily confide in me I did feel helpless, but the key was to go on giving what He needed from me. Being there and offering my presence as well as, when He wanted it His property – i.e. all of me that He owns.

I am not sure that it is about rules, once again I am not sure that Master is a man for rules for Himself. But for me to have given up what I have, there must be trust. I trust Him completely to keep me safe during my submission. So He that would be his bit of the contract, as it were.

Submissive coffee club Prompt #115

The lovely tori’s blog has led me to another great place; sccwriting (Submissive coffee club) on Tumblr. First it’s a really good place to read the thoughts of other submissives, and secondly it provides prompts on what you might want to write about (and include on the site if you want to)
This is the latest set of prompts which are published on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Prompt Set #115
– Has your everyday language been altered by your lifestyle language?
It depends who I am talking to. Of course, in my relationship with Master, as apposed to previous relationships it offers the opportunity to discuss a wider range of topics. Plus it means that there is always an undercurrent to the most vanilla conversations. My everyday language with the people I am in contact hasn’t really changed, but perhaps the way I think through what I am going to say has. There have been times when there has almost been a slip of the tongue and I am sure that will always be the case.
I have come to enjoy the freedom of chatting with Master and with the few other kinky people I know in real life.
– Do you use non-verbal forms of communication in your dynamic?
Non verbals are important for us, I would say. He and I have not discussed this, but for me in the main it is about seeking His reassurance that I am conducting myself in the right way, or am doing things in the way He wants. Also we exchange a look when we know that someone is trying to get me to take the lead in something that I neither want or can do. For example in restaurants. No amount of speaking to me rather than Him will make me choose the wine or even most of the meals. Finally, we do lots of people watching and often the glances that pass between us are to do with that particular fun pastime.
– Has your lifestyle language cause any bloopers in your everyday life?
The most likely thing, which hasn’t happened yet is that I refer to Him as Master when discussing Him with someone who has no idea. It hasn’t happened, but I have come close.
“Workds have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.“ -Edgar Allan Poe