This weekend we have made some significant progress towards being ready to sell my house. I hired a skip and Master and I spent yesterday mainly filling it with stuff from the garden. My ex was fantastic at moving and removing things but often anything that he didn’t want to put into his car and take away to the recycling centre he just dumped it into the garden. All of that stuff has been removed, along with any over hanging bush or tree. There is still time to add more stuff to the pile but already I feel closer to my final destination.
Last night I did something which in hindsight was stupid. I messaged Master’s former slave to ask if she was ok. What I received, after an affirmative response was something of a rant. Apparently He lied to her, He treated her badly, He only got divorced because it is me he is with now and not her (rubbish as his ex initiated it as I had already told her). The funny thing is that while message after message came through to my phone, I was busy elsewhere. Instructed to kneel before Him and take His cock in my mouth. It was only this morning that I read back what she had written. I have now taken her off of my Facebook and messenger and won’t make the same mistake!
Kneeling at His feet last night, naked I took Master’s cock in my mouth and was instructed not to suck. Holding that wonderful organ in my mouth without sucking it in was difficult. But at those moments when His control over me is paramount I tend to follow instructions to the letter.
My compliance is less so when we are apart. I have a set of rules to follow, but don’t always comply. Why is that? Probably, I need that day by day attention, need to be made to focus on my role and purpose. That is just one of the reasons that I am concentrating on the job in hand, in getting myself ready to move in with Master.
Just one reason. I love the closeness we have now. I love that we can do things together. I know that I want to be in the position that I can serve Him every day. I know that I am on the right path and Master is helping me get there.
We have been enjoying a wonderful summer together. A trip to France in May was followed by our holiday in Sicily, then there was a weekend away to visit my brother and then last weekend apart. Me with my mum in France, Master with his daughter in Amsterdam. In between there have been nights out, the theatre, the cinema, meals, trips to the pub…..
When things between Master and this girl were becoming a little more serious, in the summer of 2014 He introduced a contract. He had noted a few thoughts down on paper (He is a man of lists, so it probably was on paper) while He was visiting His then slave. Perhaps the fact He made this girl a slave and started the contract while still visiting helped to inform what happened next.
Life has settled into something of a routine, one that this girl is comfortable with. While it doesn’t involve much in the way of kink or any other visible part of an M/s dynamic, there is nothing dull or boring. You don’t get to your fifties without realising that this is what life is about and to be frank, if that life is happy, interesting and comfortable, why knock it? What is more, there is still more sex going on round here than at any other time during this girl’s previous lifetime.
That isn’t to say that a reminder of slavery doesn’t exist, after all, there is the collar and there is the cuff. But pretty much no one has ever commented on either – a lesson to those who think they need a discrete sign of slavery perhaps? For this girl, those things are ever present and you know that collar sometimes feels weightless, but other times incredibly heavy; how does that happen?
Contact with Master runs like this: Weekends together at His place of hers, and occasionally midweek for a munch or some other event. Most evenings a Skype call for an hour or so to catch up. Rarely there might be a text during the day, but mostly not.
So, today at her desk this girl randomly checked her phone and out of the blue there is an instruction.
When she next needs to go to the toilet she should write the letter G on her tummy and send Him a photo.
Not surprisingly she was annoyed at this instruction, especially as she had been at that moment thinking that she needed to go.
Of course, she agreed and then complied. But not before waiting for an hour or so.
Master has been saying that He needs to pull His slave back into line, and maybe today was the start of such a thing.
Lets hope so, since if nothing else it gives a girl something to blog about!
Master has gone home after a lovely weekend together and this girl now has some time to reflect on the weekend and on our relationship generally. Yesterday, before the collaring Master reminded this girl about her use of the word I, rather than speaking in the third person as she is meant to do. At the beginning it was one of the things that helped this girl manage herself and the stresses of daily life.
It would be true to say that this lapse is just one of the ways in which she has been falling a little short. When a couple doesn’t live together it is really easy to let bad habits creep in. For a slave in that situation it is perhaps too easy to know that He can’t see her all of the time and that He doesn’t want to have to micromanage her behaviours
For this girl though, last night’s collaring feels like a good way to think again about making sure she is being the best possible slave for her Master and is serving Him in the ways that He wishes. So this girl is going to make some changes, to correct some of those things and to prepare the way for further adjustments that she knows are to come.
The two key things that this girl needs to think about are really simple to fix – the first as she has eluded to relate to the use of the third person when engaging with Master. This is designed to help remind this girl that she is a thing, a possession. She knows this to be the case, but needs to remember her place which communicating with Master. As part of this adjustment, this girl is going to use the third person much more when blogging.
The second area that needs to change is that this girl should be wearing one of her butt plugs twice a week to sleep. The problem is that she can’t actually remember the last time she did wear it. This could be easily combined with the requirement that when she loses focus, she look in the the mirror and say out loud that she belongs to Master. This girl feels that these two rules could easily be combined and used much more frequently, along with a new need to kneel. So even without the rewriting of rules this girl will spend some time when alone in the house in the evening kneeling, plugged in front of the mirror in her bedroom thinking about her submission and getting into the right headspace. Then on some of those evenings, this girl will leave the plug in place for the night. As Master has reminded girl, wearing the plug helps to centre her and to allow stresses to evaporate.
This girl is still on a high, sitting here as Master’s collared slave. But she recognises that wearing His collar brings with it new responsibilities. This feels like a new chapter in this girl’s journey as Master’s slave.
On these occasions Master loves to get His girl to expose herself to Him and to take her photo. As He has here. The photo on the left was as you can see taken by the side of the road. We were high up in the hills having stopped to take a look at the views, which were great despite being shrouded in some mist. Shortly after the photo was taken, a group of boys enjoying a Sunday morning walk turned the corner. It is the riskiness of these situations that gives me the most excitement, exhibitionist that I am. The photo on the right was taken an hour or so before while we were looking around the excavated ruins of a Moorish city. The place was full of tourists, even though you can’t tell from the picture and therefore the risk of being seen while a slave exposes herself to her Master is high. It is climbing steps though, when the breeze catches that I find most pleasurable, especially when a hand is placed on your bottom in pretty much full view. Yep, it is true, this slave is a slut!
I have the urge to write this week as I manage the stresses involved in preparing for time away from work, home and family. I can’t wait to be away from those things and into a world where Master and I are together and I can be His slave for 24 hours a day.
Right now there are lots of reasons why time following the rules already set down would help me get myself back into a good place again. That is without any thoughts of new rules or suggestions instructions about how to move on with certain aspects of my life which are in the offing. As Master has said on a number of occasions, you need to be careful about what you wish for.
Mum is still in hospital, though her discharge is imminent. She has done well and the idea that she will return home post hip replacement while I am away in a foreign land fills my brothers with fear. At the same time I feel relief. Since my dad died she has had me on some kind of string which, while it has improved our relationship has at times been unhealthy for me. They need to take more responsibility and boy will they get it. I am sorry to say that my mum is a trifle difficult and at times not even a nice person. If this sounds unpleasant I am afraid to admit it is. But she is my mum and I am prepared to put up with her caustic tongue and demands in the main. But having Master help establish boundaries is a great help, for all concerned!
Work is busy. This is the busiest time for it – our financial year ends on 31st March. Plus we are heading into an election and for those of us working in the public sector is means a period of storm before a calm and then hell……. We are sadly subject to politics and while the day job goes on, policy stops and then starts with vengeance once the election is over. We can only hope for continuing calmness in the coming months, but I won’t hold my breath.
Hubby no longer lives here, nor does my son who happily is living in domestic bliss with his girlfriend. So the time to finally sort out the house nears. Plus we are getting close to 2 years of separation so a divorce looms. Energy is needed and will be found for that last push.
So that leaves Master and I.
We are two people of middle age who enjoy each others company. When we are out together most people wouldn’t have any idea that the dynamic between us is any different from any other. Maybe people (if they notice) might wonder why I, as a woman of a certain age wear no bra. They probably won’t realise that i wear no knickers. Not that I particular worry about these things, given that I am so slutty. The time away in Spain will allow me to start to reintroduce dresses rather than the trousers and jeans that have been a feature during the winter.
Further, when Master hands me a ticket to pass through a barrier at the station, and I then hand it back to him, will go un noticed. But I am not permitted to carry such tickets (Ok, so the oyster card is different since otherwise we wouldn’t be able to travel around London).
When we are out for dinner, I rarely order food for myself and never wine.
The dynamic we have is now a natural one for us both. I am available for Him and He accesses my body when He wishes. I am respectful and will generally be calling Him Master rather than Graeme.
But I do seek more, probably need more.
This time together will help us to determine what that looks and feels like for us both.
This is a break away from the world that we both need. Plus we will have some great times, of that I am sure.
I am taking my phone, camera and iPad. I plan to post a little, perhaps some photos and a word or two here or there. Maybe this will be a travel blog with a word or two of kink for a while. That might be fun too.
If you had asked this girl about the missionary position a few years ago, she might have rolled her eyes. Most if her sexual experience, what there had been of it, had been spent there. That isn’t to say other positions weren’t attempted, but it was the preferred position of the husband.
Very early in our relationship, Master informed this girl that she would rarely need to wear underwear when with Him. When, during the summer we agreed a contract, it was decreed that this girl would need to ask if she wished to wear such a thing when together. Over recent weeks time together has been limited and this girl often didn’t even ask, let alone be challenged over what she had on under her clothes.
There was no question that for this weekend, this girl would not only arrive on Friday without bra and panties, but what is more, she wouldn’t even have bothered to pack any.
It is interesting when this girl chats to girlfriends these days. Often they think that she would be spending her life in lingerie shops buying sexy panties, perhaps a suspender belt and stockings for her time with her new Man. But this Master prefers His girl naked underneath her clothes and frankly she is only too pleased.
However, perhaps the instruction for inserting the ben wa balls is better carried out when wearing some kind of undergarment (as our ancestors would have called them). Unless of course you dont want to wonder half the weekend if the one that you didn’t see fall out isn’t lost somewhere in your nether regions. But then, there always has to be some kind of mini crisis doesn’t there?
The reasonable weather and the fact that we were going to be attending cultural events (a show and a concert), lent themselves to this girl deciding against trousers. While Master doesn’t instruct this girl about what she should wear, she is pretty sure that the right choice was made from His point of view. Especially given that this was meant to be a ‘dirty weekend’ and as such Master spent quite a bit of time surreptitiously letting His hands wander to this girl’s thighs and often to touch her (continuously) damp pussy.
For this girl, wandering around wearing just 3 items (a dress and 2 shoes) for a prolonged period of time makes her feel highly exposed. The lack of panties is probably less of an issue as the absence of a bra to lift up her 52 year old tits. No underwear though, means that she is fulfilling her submissive role. It means that she is keeping to the contract, that she is being Master’s slave, His pleasing bitch.
Always ready for His pleasure.
No underwear is liberating. It reminds this girl of who she is and who owns her. Who is in control.