Sometimes when I have been with Master for the weekend, I struggle to get my mind back into the need to function alone. Especially, when, as today something intense has taken place.
You see, until earlier this year I always lived with another person (often people). For all of those adult years, I yearned to have my own space, time to be on my own. Time to read, to think, often a time and place to breathe.
Now, I get plenty time alone, but sometimes I would just like another person close to me.
It is not that I want or need to speak to them. Just to know they are close.
Tonight I have been what Master will consider bratty to Him, by text.
Because tonight, for a reason that I can’t quite fathom. I am not enjoying that space to be alone.
The best thing is to have an early night.
On Friday we leave on our next trip away, this time an over night ferry to Spain and then over the following few days, France, across the Pyrenees.
This week has been about finishing up things at work. It has been about catching up with my son (and reclaiming the suitcase he borrowed) and tomorrow it will be about having dinner with my mum, doing her shopping and generally making sure all is well with her.
The last few days before holiday, when you are unwinding while being thoroughly wound up at work can be challenging. Generally I feel calm, though sleep patterns are a little disturbed, suggesting that I am less calm than I want to believe.
Friday morning, I go to be weighed. The slimming thing is going relatively well – I am trying to follow the plan, but often find myself choosing taste over what is advised. Having said that, I am enjoying eating more healthily and enjoying more that my clothes fit better and that I am definitely slimmer. But it seems that it is the hair cut that has made the most difference – apparently short hair makes me look younger and slimmer!
Then me and my luggage will travel to Master’s house and from there we will travel to the port and away from my not even very stressful life.
I am not sure I will be writing much here, but plan to fill some gaps with the 30 days of kink project / meme thing.
Hopefully while we are away there will be kink. But definitely there will be some life that is worth blogging about.
Whatever happens, there will be something over the next couple of weeks.
Yesterdays events almost feel like a dream. Except that i am feeling a little weary (could be put down to the long period of time spent driving as much as the activities in Master’s house), but i do feel very satisfied.
The maids outfit was great. i really did enjoy wearing it and as someone who is quite tall , and who doesn’t usually wear heels except for a night out, i loved walking around all day in them. i could get used to them too! i also reveled in the fact i wore no knickers all day. i loved the fact that Sir could touch me anytime he wanted and touch me he did, lots and lots. What was quite amusing was that i was dressed as a maid, but it was Sir who made me breakfast and lunch, coffee and tea. Sir was adamant that he wanted to do these things for me; he knows that at home i do it all and he wanted me to sit showing myself to him while he got things ready rather than me waiting on him. i loved sitting with my legs open for him while he got on with these domestic tasks.
But it wasn’t all about sex. It was about us getting to know each other. It was about talking about our lives, our children, our families, ourselves and what makes us tick. Sir can certainly spin a tale and he has been to some amazing places, done lots of jobs and i am really interested in hearing all about these things.
One thing that is clear to me is how relaxed i feel in Sir’s company. i have rarely been able to let myself go quite as easily, to forget real life and to focus on another. Perhaps this is the submission and the way in which i am learning to embrace it. i am also loving Sir’s cock in a way that i haven’t been able to appreciate a cock ever before. Maybe this is why i am so happy to have this cock in my mouth when i have usually been less keen. This is another skill i am learning and think i could probably become quite good at, and gladly so.
So this weekend joolz will be going round with something of a smile on her face as she does her usual chores. Good memories are a wonderful thing and can stay with you for ever, i sure hope they will!