The Collar

The collar is the symbol of who I am and to Master’s ownership of me. In the 18 months or so since He placed it around my neck, I have rarely removed it. At the beginning I used to do so to fly, since I was nervous of the whole airport security thing. But I have discovered that titanium does not set off airport security and if that is the case then the airport people are not bothered. Once or twice I have received a knowing smile but in the main nothing. At work very few people ever mentioned it, other than to admire it. My hairdresser loves it and would like one for herself. If people do mention it then they call it a necklace or tort.

I have come to realise that often people don’t really notice things about people, what they wear, how healthy they look, in the main they are wrapped up in themselves. It’s interesting that many people on fetlife worry about what people will think and say about them wearing this kind of symbol. Perhaps if Master had insisted I wear a dog collar 24/7 I might not feel the same, but since he hasn’t  and I love what he gave me I am proud to wear it.

 

365 Questions – 11th January

What is your favourite accessory?
We discussed this question last night. Master is already bored with this whole 365 question thing and he isn’t even compiling the answers. What constitutes and accessory, he asked.
I had my own ideas, but checking the online dictionary told me that an accessory is: A thing added to something else to make it more useful, versatile or attractive.
So if my neck were the thing then a scarf, when it is cold would be useful.
A necklace would be attractive.
A slave collar? What is that?

 

Useful? Versatile? Attractive?
To Master, perhaps all three. Useful to signify that I am his slave. Versatile since it can be pulled, pushed and generally used for his pleasure. Attractive since he loves to see me wearing it.
For me, it just tells me who and what I am. It tells those who want and care to know who I belong to. For others it is an interesting piece of jewellery.
An accessory.But truly a necessity to me.

So these questions might be dull but I will carry on and to the best of my ability will try to apply them to my kink, to my slavery.

 

The days go by

If thinking about writing blog posts made them happen then I would be a prolific blogger. Instead I am someone who has had very little to say over the past couple of months. Pretty much every day I have thought about writing something. Sometimes I have even had something profound to say. But still I have struggled. But why?

Generally life exists in a pattern; Monday to Thursday work happens. Sometimes it is busy and sometimes I work hard at appearing busy and am very good at that. On Fridays I usually have some mother related activity to manage. Then the rest of the weekend is devoted to Master. Sometimes the Master part overlaps into Thursday evening or even Monday.
Most weekends something kinky happens and when it does then it gives us immense pleasure. Master gets off on the power involved in controlling His slave and she gets off on being controlled. But there is only so many times you can discuss the activities involved without the person writing about them feeling that they have exhausting all possible literary avenues. Our lives are far from boring, but to be frank they are probably not interesting enough to repeat here week after week.
Having said that last week I received a wonderful gift, a late birthday present.
For this slave, it shows that just when you begin to believe that life has slipped into some kind of day by day normality, Master has a way of showing her that this life can be different. Never mundane and always owned. She remains His property
In case you are wondering, the initials are MPB
This is the slave number of this girl

 

This is how it looks on

slave thoughts

It has been more than a week since this girl last wrote on her blog. It is funny how the urge to write comes in fits and starts; it kind of ebbs and flows. Or more likely stops and starts.

To be honest, there is an element of writers block going on here right now, so this slave is going to try to just go with the flow and to see what emerges.
The feel of the collar is ever present around this slave’s neck. Not just the feeling of the cool titanium, of the heaviness of it as she wakes in the morning, or sits at her desk in the day, but also the reality when she catches sight of herself in the mirror. The commitment though is more than a piece of jewellery (or two, since there is also the cuff). It is also about agreeing to be the slave that He expects, wants and needs. What is more, it is an admission on this slaves side that she is the person He needs. She really has given Him control of herself – her body, her mind, her limits. All of this takes time to come to terms with, it takes time to adjust to how she needs to be.
Slavehood is definitely something that has been a gradual process and it still evolves. This girl speaks to Him of her need to feel His control, just as she knows He needs to be in control. But at the same time, she realises she must comply with the agreements that were made a year ago, before more rules are set in place. In the main, these are foremost in her mind as she goes through each day, but of course, this slave is a human being and so forgets her place and role at times. That is where the metal helps – the collar, the cuff and also the plug. Last weekend Master and slave agreed that a next step would be some daytime plug wear perhaps on the journey to or from work. This girl is ready for that.
Next will be Master’s preferences over this girl’s hair style. He prefers His slave to have her head shaved, but this slave is not ready yet for that step. Master is not pushing hard, but gently towards His goal. Last time she had her hair short, with the sides up to the ears and next time will be the next stage. This girl is not sure what she fears about going to where Master wants her to be. However she does know that eventually she will comply, she will embrace His wishes without Him forcing the issue.
This slave has no idea why she needs to be the slave she is for her Master, or why she needs to move further towards the girl she knows He wants her to be. She just knows that she does.

Thinking

This post is going to ramble, but sometimes a person probably needs to do that. It is also going to feature ‘i’ since it is easier to form thoughts that way, even though i really am trying to do the whole third person thing much much more.

Since the collaring i am feeling more slave like, more like i need to please and serve Him. When you wear a ring of metal around your neck (as well as one around your wrist) there is no likelihood you are going to forget what you have agreed to be and to do. I didn’t take agreeing to be Master’s slave lightly, it feels right but it is a responsibility. Usually in the right way, but I know also that I am making mistakes and feel I need more help and guidance. I have re-read our contract and in most areas I am pretty much compliant.

Am I the slave He wants? Am I pleasing enough? Am I mindful about my actions at work? Would He be proud of the way I conduct myself at meetings? All of these things matter much more than they did. Plus what about the areas I have been seriously remiss? It is easy to wear a butt plug more frequently, but to remember to ask if I am to remove my clothes whenever I arrive at His house? To always speak in the third person; those things take some concentration on my part. Plus how much does He require me to comply?

It is proving easier to get into my slave space when we are together, but to be honest I need to know how to behave when we are apart much more than I did. I need more help and guidance than I did. Perhaps this feeling is temporary but it is definitely real.

Being Master’s slave is a responsibility and I don’t want to let Him down.