Elust #103

Photo courtesy of Tits and Test Tubes

Welcome to Elust 103

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #104 Start with the rules, come back March 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

The Friend and The Acquaintance

The dress rehearsal

Lake Malawi

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Color Me Kinky

A Slow Burn on a Summer Night.

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Voodoo Me

 

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Body Talk and Sexual Health

Cervical Orgasms: the deep erogenous zones

Erotic Fiction

Snow Day
Bad Dream
Heaven is a Place on Earth
Fucking Women
Laura’s Christmas
The Scent of a Woman
More than Friends: A Night Out
Eloise ~ Part one ~ Under my skin
Helios

 

Erotic Non-Fiction

Pain is confusing
I Don’t Want You to Hurt Me
Chemistry
There’s Many a Slip Twixt…
First Experience
Mixed bag/into my own eyes
Swinging 1
Lust and Will
Hot sunshine

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Mortified
Stop Worrying and Learn to Love Fellatio
I come from sexual assault
A life in three tweets

Poetry

-02.02.18_00:18-
The Four In the Morning Fuck

Blogging

Why Do I Blog?

Writing About Writing

10 Things I Will NEVER Write About

 

 

Elust

#SOSS No 3

Review of my favourite posts of the week

This is the first Saturday in ages that I have had the chance to sit down and write a Share our Shit Saturday (#SOSS) post. Partly because over the past few, very busy weeks, there has been little time for reading. Finally this week, I have had the chance to catch up.

My picks of the week

For the first time in ages, I have read all of the Wicked Wednesday posts this week. The prompt 21 really got the creative juices going, in terms of real life and fiction. One the most powerful was from Hey Mrs Robinson.  This is a new blog find for me and I am now catching up on some of her previous posts. In the Wicked Wednesday post Mrs Robinson describes the long road taken before she and her husband finally got together. A painful journey of death, abuse and assault.

Another interesting post was from Sub Bee who gave her thoughts on her sexual experience of race. Our upbringing in terms of location and parental influences have far reaching consequences on our view of the world. Bee discusses the race aspect of the images we see on the net as well as being propositioned by those claiming to have a BBC (big black cock). Something I too have encountered and not been even slightly tempted to follow up. The post has me thinking too about the number of young, slim women we see profiled. Versus those of my age, I think that is a post waiting for me to write.

Bee’s post  inspired by a couple by Cara Thereon which are worth a read. I however want to point to another, about the level of outrage being expressed at the moment. About people getting out of their trees about stuff that annoys them. In the process they go on the attack. Shutting down views and conversation and not reading or listening to the views of others. We women, quite rightly have plenty to say right now. But not at the expense of being mean to each other.

I have been lucky not to experience sexual abuse from a partner or boyfriend. This was helped along by meeting my husband when I was a child. We started going out when I was only 15 and married at 21. I have only had 3 serious relationships in my life. Hy recounts an early experience of abuse from a boyfriend when she was 16 and he 19. This reminds me just how lucky I have been in my life and how future relationships are affected by past experience.

Elust #102

Annie Savoy Elust 102 header image

Photo courtesy of Annie Savoy

Welcome to Elust 102

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #103 Start with the rules, come back February 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Baby, baby…

O Come All Ye Faithful

Christmas Eve

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Not “only” CP

Whispered Obscenities

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Happily Barren

 

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Fiction

Hot Chocolate
Eve
Jingle Bells

Erotic Non-Fiction

Four Acts in Oral Fluids
When a mid-winter sprint became a marathon
Gadget Man
I’m afraid of jinxing it
Oh my God, what an afternoon I’ve had!!!

Poetry

Plea of the Chaste
-04.01.17_17:52-

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Reality Bytes: Reflections on Expectations
Emotional Baggage – Say You Won’t Let Go.

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

After the sunshine
Spit or miss

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

The politics of people who take part in BDSM

 

 

 

Elust

Reflections on us and the blog

We have been together for 4 years in February. By anyone’s judgement that is a proper, long term relationship. We still don’t live together, but tend to spend more time together than apart. When apart we Skype, so contact is daily. We have settled into a comfortable existence that is as much about ordinary mundane stuff as it is about kink and sex. To prevent this blog from becoming dull and boring, somewhere along the line I stopped writing so much. After all, who wants to read about us sitting on the sofa with a bottle of wine chatting about our next (or last holiday)? Time perhaps to reflect on our relationship and the blog?

Sex for us is often similar in the way it plays out and while far from boring, writing about it feels quite repetitive. We don’t play as much as we did for a variety of reasons. Time and our social life and holidays are part of the reason. Laziness might be a factor too. I wonder if my lack of blog posts is laziness too. Maybe I just need to get off my arse (as it were) and write stuff about us. I love to look back and see what we have done over time. I know Master does too. But if I don’t write about it then we can hardly do that!

I often post photos for Sinful Sunday that have a back story. Quite rightly, I keep those posts short since Sinful Sunday is about the photo. But rarely these days do I go back and fill in the gaps. This feels like a mistake. Take this photo, that I posted a couple of Sunday’s ago. It stands alone as an image, the beautiful colours, the light streaming in onto the bed and spreading across my face. Spread out naked, exposed. Clearly I didn’t take this photo (unless I used a timer). No one else is in shot, but I know that the other person in the room is responsible for me wanting to lie there naked. Still in the throw of ecstasy.

While we were away over the past couple of weeks our libido, missing for much of the year returned. That morning he had awoken and demanded I move to the edge of the bed so he could lick me out. The photo was taken many orgasms later. I don’t think we had penetrative sex that day, but as is often the case that didn’t matter. This is a happy sexy photo, which screams contentment. It occurs to me that my life with Master is good and deserves to be written about. I am planning to do much more of that. My November challenge for myself!

 

This drought

It is a ridiculous amount of time since I last blogged. The last time the blog drought was a month was, well I can’t remember.

On 16th June we went on holiday to France. A much needed break after a crazy past few months at work. I have been carrying a project while also doing my normal work for 6 months. In that time I have had a change in manager, dealt with the politics of a wider work regime change and generally got on with things.

But it isn’t just work. I have spoken before about my lack of libido. A busy work life and lack of time to recharge certainly hasn’t helped. Master has a bad shoulder (for the second time in as many years) and so our play time is also curtailed. The M/s part of our life is there, but it is implicit rather than explicit. Even to us.

I have had few ideas for blog posts and so over recent month kept to posting memes. But this isn’t what I want my blog to be about, really I don’t.

The holiday

We travelled to the Alsace-Lorraine area of France, passing through the battlefields of the Somme and Champagne region on the way. 16 days of time together, exploring new places, seeing new things and trying new food and wine. I found the experience of the Somme, most of which we covered in a day, extremely moving. The remnants of a war fought a 100 years ago. Then onto towns and cities where wars have been fought over a much longer time period. Castles and fortifications, churches and cathedrals. Places where we felt like we were in Germany, but the people were speaking France.

We were busy, packing lots of activity into each day. The feeling of tiredness subsided and the thoughts of work in the main left me. We often don’t have much sex when we are away. Not because we don’t want to, but because our preferred time for sex is in the mornings. And the mornings are often busy with getting ready to move to the next place, or else trying to fit breakfast in. Lame excuses but not really important. Things are good between us, so it doesn’t matter.

Or does it?

Home again

Back into work on Tuesday last week and I seemed to pick up the momentum just where I left off. By Friday afternoon I felt completely exhausted again. Perhaps not quite in the same way as I had when I left for France. My head was and is still clear, but I just feel weary. The hot weather this last week has added to it. So this last weekend has been one of pottering around, eating and drinking. Pleasantly reliving our holiday, discussing the highs and few small lows.

There has been no sex and no overt kink. I haven’t initiated anything and neither has he. I don’t think there is any thing wrong, but perhaps we need to discuss this? Perhaps as usual we will find our mojo and get back to it.

The blog

This blog is not about memes. I love to participate and to look to see what other sex and kink bloggers are writing and posting. But I don’t want this blog to be just about memes. This is meant to be a place I go to write about myself and my relationship. When nothing much is happening in my life other than work and drifting through a weekend, there is little to say.

But maybe there is a bit of chicken and egg to this. Perhaps I need to write and express my feelings about the lack of sex and play. Maybe I need to write some fun and sexy stuff to help us get in the mood. Maybe I need to write. Maybe by writing then the energy and zest for my slave life will return.

This has to be a start

Still learning

This week I realised I am still learning about how to write for a blog. I recently offered to help Marie from Rebel’s Notes with the roundup and judging of Wicked Wednesday. She took me up on the offer and this week it was my turn; Marie will publish my top 3 today. The Wicked Wednesday prompt for the following week is posted on Saturday, along with the roundup and top 3 from the previous week.

I have taken part in a number of the regular memes that circulate the sex and kink related blog world, including Wicked Wednesday. They are a great way to focus on a topic, to share with a wider audience and to find new blogs to read. My own preference is posts about real lived experience and also opinion about life, love, sex and kink. Probably because those are the kinds of blog posts I write. Fiction doesn’t come easily to me as a writer and although I read plenty of fictional books of all genres I tend not to do so on blogs. I am not sure why, but when I browse blogs and find short stories I often pass by. That however might change now.

2517 and all that

This week’s prompt was about life 500 years hence in 2517. I fully intended to write a post and wanted to try some fiction, I even started the post. My thoughts centred around the idea that maybe our lives would have become simpler. Technology has advanced beyond recognition in the past 100 years. We use it to communicate, to make life easier, as labour saving devices, and to fight wars. What if communication such as we know it had led to war on such a scale never before seen? What if a re-evaluation of our lives and existence had taken place. I planned to link this to the idea of greater tolerance and the idea that I should be able to live openly as a slave if I wish.

But events in Manchester on Monday kind of derailed my thoughts. Suddenly I found it almost impossible to write about what was really my own utopia. Death, injury, fear, hurt and suffering were at the forefront of my thoughts and so I abandoned my post. I am sorry I did, but not sorry that I still had to read everyone else’s blogs.

Reviewing and judging

There were 12 posts to review, but when I began the judging process I had already read 3 or 4. Of course I needed to go back and refresh my memory and then read the rest. I was impressed by the imagination and creativity that had gone into creating stories around the prompt. Not everyone’s writing was about life in 2517, but a significant number were.

There is such an amazing talent of sex bloggers who write fiction, and to think I had been skipping over their posts. There were also a number of off topic tales and personal reflective posts. The task of judging a top 3 was much harder than I imagined – I chose my top 7 and went to bed late on Thursday night. Friday morning I quickly re-read those and came up with my top 3, in no order. Went out to run a few errands and came back with a clear order.

These were my personal choice, no one else. I fully expect that if another person reviewed the same 12 posts they might come up with a different top 3 or in a different order. But I took my role in this seriously and stand by my own list.

Final thoughts

Most of us blog for fun, a few manage to make money doing it. But what I have learned is that we do take the business of writing seriously. Some of us find writing easier than others, but there are some seriously talented people out there. I feel privileged to have been invited to judge Wicked Wednesday. It took a whole evening and a little more from my life, but it was worth it.  I take my hat off (well would if I were wearing one) to people like Marie who run memes like this every week. They put an enormous amount of work into helping people like me blog. I encourage anyone reading this who blogs to take part.

One of those update posts

The strain of blogging every nearly every day for the Blogging A-Z challenge left me needing a break. I am so enthusiastic at the start of these memes but time, bad planning and the challenge of obscure words can get in the way.

But it’s time to move on and get back to reality. The February Photofest and Blogging A-Z Challenges are behind me. Time to move on through the year, develop some discipline and post spontaneously. It’s 2 months since Eroticon and I still haven’t got around to making the changes I said I would. No space so far for fiction, and generally my creative juices are struggling to emerge.

Life around here has been pretty full on, what with work, family and social stuff. Add a holiday into the mix and stir in Master’s new bathroom* and you get the picture. Not that any of this is an excuse, since over all I am pretty lazy when not doing any of the above. *N.B He has people in to fit the bathroom, though I helped out in choosing accessories. There are still towels, bathmats and a little cupboard to be considered.

We are very aware of the need to instil a bit more fun and play into our lives. Plus of course sex. The joy of spending more time together this past couple of weeks has included time discussing how to inject energy into our relationship. Plus to rediscover things like anal sex, which we haven’t done for a while.

This week he bought me a leather bra. Something I can wear under my clothing or else on its own around the house. The leather is beautifully soft and comfortable to wear. Master has a real fetish for leather gear, well he just has a real fetish in reality! Summer is on the way, though it isn’t too warm around these parts yet. But the opportunities to get out an about and to have some fun are emerging. Plus he has promised more dungeon time for my birthday in August.

Lots to look forward to and hopefully the opportunity for fun and games on top of normal life.

Summer here we come!

Erotica and me – getting over the mental block


One of the reasons I wanted to go to Eroticon was to explore the possibility of writing erotic fiction. In the main, my blog has always been about me and my relationships. For much of the past 5 years, there has been plenty of experiences to recount. I am sure that this will continue, but since my relationship with Master is for the longterm real life there is unlikely to be kinky excitement all of the time. Last weekend I struggled to complete the exercises set us by Ashley Lister. I couldn’t think of a 6 word story, kinky or otherwise. Generally my creative brain felt somewhat numb. But it wasn’t always like this.


The teenage years

There was a time when I wrote stories, in longhand in a notebook. My friend  and I wrote about the boys from school, the ones we had a crush on. These were tales of innocent romance, about being noticed and kissed. In our dreamworld we were attractive, we became their girlfriends. There was, as far as I can remember, no actual sex  involved. We were 15 or 16 and pretty naive.

Real life overtook us, real boyfriends were found, Wendy left school and started work, she went out with a number of boys including a very odd distant cousin of mine. Her next boyfriend was older and much more mature. She grew bored with our stories, indeed we grew apart. Her life was more interesting than the fiction we had created.

I also had a boy friend, but for me the exploration of my sexuality and his body meant I wanted to write more. I began to fantasise about what sex could and should be about, without even knowing why. Without even recognising that I wasn’t fulfilled in the way I could have been.

I started my nurse training and my writings became essays about nursing care, anatomy and psychology. Hell, there was no time to think about erotic stories, much less write them. Anyway I was having proper, actual sex. In a single bed, in a nurses home, in London. Boys weren’t allowed in our room after midnight, so I was living on the edge here.


Marriage

At some point soon after I became a married woman I picked up my pen and paper again. Marriage wasn’t quite as I had imagined it to be. I worked shifts at a local hospital, often we saw little of each other. At some point in those first years my hubby strayed with someone at work. He pretended to work late, go out with mates and left me on my own for long periods of time.

Looking back, the stories I created in my A4 notepads were pretty raunchy. There was a lot of sex, often involving more than two people. I explored the idea of lesbian sex, even though I knew that I wasn’t turned on by other women in real life. I brought back the men (previously boys)  that I had a crush on as a teenager. These were now hot-blooded men rather than boys. I had no knowledge of BDSM but did explore being controlled by a man. I guess this was a direct result of needing to exert quite so much control over my own life, back then.


Motherhood

Then I became pregnant, for a while I continued the fantasies. But then I was a mother. Juggling work, family, marriage with an unfaithful man (not that I knew) who was incredibly needy, I had neither the time or the imagination. I threw the books away and got on with life.

From time to time I tried to recreate the stories. In those early days I had been able to almost lose myself in the fantasy of the fiction I had created. But responsibility to work, motherhood and paying the mortgage mean that you need to centre yourself. Once I found the blogosphere I was more interested in describing the world I inhabited (mainly work related) that I forgot about any kind of fiction.


Now

Until this week, I had blocked from my mind that I ever wrote fiction, let alone that it might have involved erotica. But I did. Thinking back, there is no reason that I couldn’t get my brain around a kinky story right now. I have the time, the space and dammit the ability to make this happen. I just need to give myself the permission to do so.

Blogging update – moving on from the past

Last Sunday I finally got around to moving my blog. Just over two years ago, when it looked as if Blogger was going to ban sex related sites, I bought my own domain. I searched for and read about hosting, WordPress etc and planned to move. I worked out how to move posts across and even successfully managed to do so. Then following a public outcry Google had second thoughts. I couldn’t work out how to make my blogger blog redirect to my self hosted one, so I just gave up. Periodically I returned to look, once more I moved posts across, but still I couldn’t work out how to redirect.

A few weeks ago I received an email to tell me that my domain name was up for renewal. Should I let it go or try again? Always up for a challenge, I decided to give it one more go. So last weekend I spend time that could have been put to better use, working on the move. After much trial and error I got everything across, including photos and links. Then I managed the redirect. Somehow I then managed to re-import the posts and ended up having to manually trawl through and delete about 750 posts.

But after linking my Sinful Sunday post for last week, I heard from Molly that she had spotted a security problem. Somehow I had set up the blog with a url ending in /blog and if you typed .com  you landed at my C panel. Thankfully @DomSigns was able to help out with the technical details so by Friday I was up and running. I am really grateful for Molly and Michael’s help, without which i don’t think I would have been able to get this far.

Then, just as I got to the point where I might be able to concentrate on new material I managed to mess things up again. Having installed a plug in to delete duplicates I somehow managed to delete all the tags and categories in the entire blog. The past couple of days have been spent categorising everything, starting with this past week backwards and then today from the beginning.

Reading about a long left behind relationship has left me with mixed thoughts. Firstly, I had forgotten just how much I had written in those early days. As I explored new experiences I wrote copiously. I embraced the rules he laid down enthusiastically, if perhaps blindly. I enjoyed the times we had, but now recognise he was probably using me. His marriage had ended and he saw me as an opportunity to explore his kinky side.

5 years on, I am faced with a dilemma. I have no desire to remove that part of my life from this blog, but I wonder if those posts need to be characterised in the way they were? As I reviewed them I know labelled them differently. But should I be more radical and create an “archive” category and then move on?

The past is important, after all it made me the person I am today but I need to move forwards. I am in another relationship, one that everyone knows about. I am a slave and Master is my owner. We know pretty much everything  about each other, both positive and negative. I recognise the things that are important, I need to move on. Moving my blog is the right thing for me. I will have greater freedom about what and how I write. But it will also allow me to let go of the past. There is great value in that.

The image below was the first I posted of me on my blog in 2012. He loved me to dress up in that kind of way and I has fun doing so. But that was then and I think I prefer the way Master likes me to dress for him now. The maid will be consigned to the archives after today along with that part of my blog.

Febraury Photofest