Blogging update – moving on from the past

Last Sunday I finally got around to moving my blog. Just over two years ago, when it looked as if Blogger was going to ban sex related sites, I bought my own domain. I searched for and read about hosting, WordPress etc and planned to move. I worked out how to move posts across and even successfully managed to do so. Then following a public outcry Google had second thoughts. I couldn’t work out how to make my blogger blog redirect to my self hosted one, so I just gave up. Periodically I returned to look, once more I moved posts across, but still I couldn’t work out how to redirect.

A few weeks ago I received an email to tell me that my domain name was up for renewal. Should I let it go or try again? Always up for a challenge, I decided to give it one more go. So last weekend I spend time that could have been put to better use, working on the move. After much trial and error I got everything across, including photos and links. Then I managed the redirect. Somehow I then managed to re-import the posts and ended up having to manually trawl through and delete about 750 posts.

But after linking my Sinful Sunday post for last week, I heard from Molly that she had spotted a security problem. Somehow I had set up the blog with a url ending in /blog and if you typed .com  you landed at my C panel. Thankfully @DomSigns was able to help out with the technical details so by Friday I was up and running. I am really grateful for Molly and Michael’s help, without which i don’t think I would have been able to get this far.

Then, just as I got to the point where I might be able to concentrate on new material I managed to mess things up again. Having installed a plug in to delete duplicates I somehow managed to delete all the tags and categories in the entire blog. The past couple of days have been spent categorising everything, starting with this past week backwards and then today from the beginning.

Reading about a long left behind relationship has left me with mixed thoughts. Firstly, I had forgotten just how much I had written in those early days. As I explored new experiences I wrote copiously. I embraced the rules he laid down enthusiastically, if perhaps blindly. I enjoyed the times we had, but now recognise he was probably using me. His marriage had ended and he saw me as an opportunity to explore his kinky side.

5 years on, I am faced with a dilemma. I have no desire to remove that part of my life from this blog, but I wonder if those posts need to be characterised in the way they were? As I reviewed them I know labelled them differently. But should I be more radical and create an “archive” category and then move on?

The past is important, after all it made me the person I am today but I need to move forwards. I am in another relationship, one that everyone knows about. I am a slave and Master is my owner. We know pretty much everything  about each other, both positive and negative. I recognise the things that are important, I need to move on. Moving my blog is the right thing for me. I will have greater freedom about what and how I write. But it will also allow me to let go of the past. There is great value in that.

The image below was the first I posted of me on my blog in 2012. He loved me to dress up in that kind of way and I has fun doing so. But that was then and I think I prefer the way Master likes me to dress for him now. The maid will be consigned to the archives after today along with that part of my blog.

Febraury Photofest

W is for……..

Phew, the end is in sight and I have actually reached W. My kinky word today is Watersports, and the non kinky one is Wishes

I know watersports, or play that involves urine, is not for everyone. It is not something we indulge in frequently but I have to admit that it is a kink that both of us are turned on by. Master didn’t force me into this, he didn’t push my limits, instead I owned up to it.
Given my nursing career, I am not really bothered by most bodily fluids. Heaven knows I spent quite a bit of time in my late teens and early 20’s up to my elbows in them. However, putting up with blood, vomit, urine, pus and shit are different from enjoying doing so. To be frank I am a little more squeamish these days, and would prefer not to be involved with any of the above for work purposes. I have an office job and that suits me fine. Scat would be a limit for me, but it doesn’t need to be since I don’t think Master is particularly interested (though accidents happen). Urinating on each other though, well that is something different.
It is hard to explain, but rather than being turned off by pee, I am kind of weirdly fascinated by excreting it myself.Whether it is the colour, volume etc. I also have to admit that I quite like the feeling of Master’s hot piss being sprayed over me. Perhaps it is the whole humiliation and degradation thing. Perhaps it is the fact that most people would find it weird and disgusting, I don’t know. To be frank it is not something I have thought much about, but if he wants me to pee on him, or he on me I am cool with that. I am not keen however to have it in my mouth. Luckily he has never asked and I do hope I don’t have to consider it, given my slave status.
I have written a lot on this blog about my past and about the present. All along I have detailed my frustrations with the situation I continue to live with when it comes to the relationship with my estranged hubby. This ongoing situation remains frustrating, but I am focused now on the future. I have started the process of decluttering the house and will soon embark on a few small projects to prepare for the sale. I recognise that this is probably the only way to move things forward.
I plan to move in with Master and share his home with him. I plan to invest the proceeds of my portion of the house sale and to prepare to reduce my work commitments so we can travel more and generally enjoy our life together.
My wish for the future is that I live my life to the full. That I have fun and that I enjoy myself. I wish to be able to embrace my submission and live as Master’s slave full time. My wishes involve prioritising us as a couple and him as my Master. I don’t think that is to much to wish for.

New blog, fresh start

This is the first post on a fresh new blog. There is lots to be done here yet before this girl has it as she wants, so please bear with her.

This blog, while it currently contains all the past blogs of this girl’s journey’s is meant to be a new start. Of course, since this is not the beginning of the journey, it is right that the history remains; at least for now.
For several months now, this girl has struggled to express herself freely. This was because she feared that another person could be hurt if she did so. To begin with it was because that person had found the place accidentally and then because this girl had helped that person by reminding her of where the blog could be found. It soon became clear that this was a big mistake. Over the coming weeks, this girl may be able to say more about that situation, or maybe since this is a fresh start, not.
The relationship this girl has with her Master is developing and deepening. This girl’s submission has shifted somewhat over the months. This girl is discovering what it means to be a slave to her Master. How it feels to have given up control completely when we are together and how even when we are apart his influence pervades all of her life. This girl has her own responsibilities to work and to her family, areas of her life where she doesn’t necessarily want or indeed need to consult or defer to Him. However still the words of our contract, the knowledge of how Master wishes her to behave, to be pervade all. Others have been speaking of their lives as slaves and how this affects them, this is something this girl intends to return to very soon. While this is not a 24/7 relationship, we are not living together and maybe never will, this girl takes her responsibilities very seriously as does her Master.
Equally we have been discussing symbols of ownership and what they should be. Wearing something visible will be a big step for this girl. She has plans to talk some of that through here.
Over the coming days, this girl will be inviting those she knows were readers of the other blog to join her here. She hopes they will come along. While this girl writes in the main for herself and her Master, she values the thoughts and contributions of others. Indeed some of those who visit, are now considered as friends, perhaps this circle will grow.
Finally the name of the blog – well this is the name, Master has decided belongs to His girl. She is now His MPB. His pleasing bitch. Who knew a girl would be so proud of being called such a thing. But she truly is. Joolz was the name this girl gave herself at the start of her journey, but it is no longer relevant. To those who know her in real life she is Julie, for purposes of comments in future she will be Julie. To you who visit and read she can be Julie, or she can be MPB. It is up to you.

This blog

On 21st of April it will be the 2nd anniversary of my first post. i started this blog to document a personal journey and for the first few months that was exactly what it was. i wrote what i was experiencing and pretty much no one read it. But then gradually, as i explored the submissive blogosphere and left comments, so people came here and did the same. Then after a few months i told S about this place (though he found it around the same time accidentally) and so he also read my posts. Generally speaking he found the whole thing a turn on, not surprising as i wrote more about sex than about my true feelings.
Of course i have documented the way in which my marriage has deteriorated over time. i have spoken of the pain of having to tell your husband you are unfaithful and the difficulties in helping him come to terms with both that and that the things you do with others are not something you want to share with him. As much as possible, i have tried to be honest about who i think i am and my journey to get there.
Last summer i exposed my raw pain and then my joy at finding a new kind of relationship with S. True that after last summer, i was much much more careful about what i wrote and perhaps during that time i was playing a little to the crowd (as it were)
Now though, things are different.
i told Graeme about this place within a few days of us meeting and since then He has read not only what i had previously written but everything since. He has begun to use it as a way of gauging how i am feeling about different emotions and He and i discuss what i write.
When i write now, i definitely write for me. i write about me, about my hopes, fears and definitely my feelings. i also write knowing he will read it.
Even so, i often write in the moment. When feeling particularly submissive or even in subspace. While i edit punctuation i never actually significantly change anything i write. As with me as a person, what you see is what you get.
This is a different blog post than the one i intended to write. But after my conversation with Sir this evening it seems appropriate and hey it just came to me!
…………………………..
Yesterday while this girl was at Sir’s house, hubby returned home here. This girl is pleased to say that she feels she handled the situation well and while she has experienced some of his usual self centred texts today she has in the main stayed firm (with help from Sir of course).
A version (not as good as this one) of this song was playing on the radio as this girl drove home from the supermarket. It made this girl think about her weekend with Sir and some of the times they spend together. Perhaps a message in a blog post?