Play thing

It had been a long time. We have a busy social life, like to travel and then there has been all of the work we have been doing on my house. Sometimes even our sex life has taken a back seat, heaven knows that a couple in their 50’s can’t physically fit all of that stuff in and still remain awake and able to walk.

So when I say it had been a long time since there was any kind of kinky play, I really mean it. I would need to look back on this blog to discover exactly when and I know both of us have been missing the release that it gives us. But this last weekend we made a conscious effort to make some time which wasn’t about rushing around town or painting walls. The decorating isn’t finished, but we decided we needed a day off and so as not to be tempted I headed to His place for the weekend just to be sure.
Lunch on Saturday was a relaxing meal of some indulgent Iberico ham, salad and wine. As we cleared away Master told me He needed to trim my hair. That is the hair on my pussy, rather than my head, though I know He would like to get his clippers on that too! We have few rules in our relationship but one is that I grow my bush and that He is in charge of trimming it.

So, with me restrained in a spreader bar, wrists cuffed and blind folded, He set about his work with electric hair clippers. Next He started covering me in various temporary tattoos and then got down to the business of using my body as His play object.
As usual  the order of events is far from clear due to the large number of forced orgasms inflicted upon me (grins!) with His Hitachi wand. But what I do remember are the nipple clamps, the violet wand, the pussy pumping thing and quite a bit of flogging. The full range of attachments on the violet wand were made use of, including those I am less fond of (as mentioned the other day).With each orgasm he made a mark on my tummy, this is useful after the event, since it is so hard to recall and exact number afterwards.

I know He would have had me turn over so He could give me some stripes on my backside, but on Sunday we were going to the cinema to see a long silent film (he is very considerate like that).

At the end of proceedings, He released me from my constraints and instructed me to suck His cock. I can’t tell you how wonderful it was to be able to please Him in that way.

To think I used to think shopping was the best way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

 

Quickie

One of the things Master loves is when I play with Him while He looks at kinky stuff on His phone. On Sunday morning we woke pretty early (for a Sunday), helped along with the extra hours sleep we had enjoyed thanks to the daylight saving, clocks going back thing.

I had woken first and had exhausted my desire to study my own emails and Facebook etc. So while He browsed, I was happy to play. I love the idea of making Him hard. I love the feel of His cock as it hardens, the feel of His balls as they fill. I love the feel of a growing cock.
Suddenly He announced He was going to fill me. In passing He suggested adding to my orgasm count from Friday night.
In the event something different happened. He pushed inside me. I closed my legs tightly around Him.  I felt Him growing even bigger inside me as he pulled out and pushed back in.
Moments later He came. Shooting His seed deep inside.
A very pleasurable and satisfying quickie had just taken place.
Sometimes sex is what you need and what you get.
What we both needed and what we both got. Funny too, since this was the kind of thing that happened all the time with my ex. But this was different, very different and very very good.
How strange it that?

R is for ……….

Restraint and relaxation

It has been an amazing revelation to me that being restrained gives me such a feeling of freedom. You would imagine that having your movement restricted would make you want to rebel and break free, but generally this isn’t the case. Master often starts by putting my ankles in cuffs and then attaching them to a spreader bar, before moving on to wrist restraints. A calmness seems to engulf me as I await whatever is next. Usually some kind of penetration (one or both holes),  and then painful stimuli. The violet wand, floggers, paddles etc. Added to that, perhaps the hitachi to force an orgasm or six.

The restraint though is the key in these circumstances. The ability to just absorb the sensations seems to be possible because I am unable to move. Somehow it allows me to embrace my submission and to face it head on. To relax and to enjoy (even if I don’t know I am enjoying it at the time).

Given the photo below though, it is difficult to understand how I find restraint quite as I have described above. Somehow though it just is.

 

We both value the ability to relax in each others company. We have busy lives – for me, work is hectic at times and then I have family responsibilities and for us both we often lead a busy social life. We value the downtimes though and have found that we can be comfortable together doing our own thing – reading, browsing, researching (him), sewing (me), listening to music – often time passes without a need to speak, just time to enjoy being together and to relax. Something I am looking forward to this coming weekend.

G is for……….

Glass dildo and Good girl. The photo below is of my bottom, into which Master has inserted a glass dildo. There is something lovely about that object as it is pushed into your body. It is cool, it is smooth, it is hard but not in the way plastic or rubber is hard. It is also pretty, though you can’t see it’s beauty from this photo. The shaft of the dildo has rings of pink, I think (I don’t have it here so I can’t check). As you can see it has a ring of glass at the end which makes it easy to hold for withdrawal. The morning of the glass dildo was a morning of orgasms and of double penetration. A lot of our sex and play takes place in the mornings, it is a time when we are emerging from sleep and are feeling pretty sexy. The play times are less frequent than the sexy times, and that makes them special. The glass dildo is pretty special too.

Until about 2 years ago, I hadn’t been called a girl, much less a good girl for a very long time. When Master told me I was girl, his girl, this girl I found it hard to get my head around. But since I am meant to refer to myself as this girl all of the time, and much of the time I remember to do so, the words now trip off of my tongue more easily.

I love nothing more these days than to be told I am a good girl, that I have done well and pleased him. Sometimes I do forget who I am, and I do say too much, I do buy into his argumentative nature, I do allow myself to get dragged in and to argue back, even when I know I will get annoyed and start to question my very place as his slave. This statement is written for and to Master, since this happened last night and last week and the week before. I say it because I know what is happening and I can stop it. I say it because I truly am his slave, his good girl and I am not going to allow discussions on topics we will never agree on and which aren’t even important to us, to get in the way of that.

 

F is for…….

Figged and Fetlife

At the weekend we were discussing the day, last June when Master figged His girl. I had seen the ginger in the fridge, but why would you think anything of such a thing since from time to time I buy it for cooking purposes. During the whole scene though, I had no idea what he was using, and indeed no idea that people used ginger in this way. I don’t know if there are meant to be rules with this meme, but this is my blog and I will do as I wish. So, here is the post as posted last June (I know this is really lazy):

Sometimes without knowing it,  or indeed knowing what it is you might have on a bucket list of kink, you can tick items off. Also, a you might find a photo on tumblr (in this case reblogged by Master) and suggest you would like to do that, and next thing you really are.

So this morning Master played with His girl. This was the position she found herself in:

This girl hastens to say, that this isn’t her, but is the photo mentioned above which we both reblogged. This girl was blindfolded and she wore a leather collar, but in her case it was part of a harness that also framed her tits.

This girl had waited for what seems like ages for a play session. This morning when it started though, she didn’t really feel in the mood. The position she was in was uncomfortable and then he put something into her anus. Something which felt a bit like a plug, but then again not. Whatever it was, she was sure he hadn’t put it in properly and she said so. He laughed and said it was definitely in! She wondered about telling Him to forget the whole thing, but deep down knew that 1) she needed this and 2) He would likely ignore her since she is His slave and anyway was far past the point of any choice in the matter.

He put on some music, something pretty erotic – who knew that Madonna had produced such stuff (certainly not this girl who stopped bothering with her during her adopting African children phase). Then out came the hitachi and everything changed. Damn that man for giving this girl such an amazing orgasm and then leaving the thing in place. Gradually the anxiety about not wanting to be there subsided, and the burning in her bottom started to grow. What the hell is that, this girl thought to herself. She wasn’t able to think much about it though since He started to use the violet wand with its various attachments. Some of those are very pleasant, and some are downright painful. But painful in a nice way (damn Him). There was also flogging of the inner thighs and the cunt. Plus there was the horrible snake thing which girl doesn’t like and we now realise she might be a bit allergic to. But anyway, senses were in overdrive, and Madonna was belting out “Deeper” just as Master decided to do just that.

This girl felt the warmth of His body between her spread legs and felt Him plunge deep inside her. Suddenly too she remembered exactly what she needed and today, what she needed, she got.

It transpires that the ginger this girl found in Master’s fridge yesterday was not there for cooking specifically, but to be inserted into her arse. This girl has been figged and tied to the Erotica Album by Madonna.

Deeper, Madonna

Fetlife, the Facebook of the kinky world. Increasingly I wonder why I bother to go there. Well actually no, I do know. It is a great place for local finding events and linking to people who go to them. But increasingly it is so full of drama and unpleasantness such as you only find on Facebook and Twitter on a really bad day.
On Fetlife you can find the slaviest slaves and the domliest Doms. People who spend their entire lives naked wearing a collar and leash but who spend all day on the internet. Of course though as with all social media you can meet some wonderful people, get great advice and have amazing discussion with like minded people. The problem is finding your way through the professional 21 year old Dom(mme)s and the drama. Still, never a dull moment!

 

 

The girl He wants

It seems that this girl is in something of a flow, a series even. Having written about herself as a slave and as a person, perhaps it is time to think about this girl’s perception of the slave that Master wants.

It is His power within this relationship and all that she has given to Him that essentially gets Him off. He is aroused by the knowledge that He owns a slave who is willing to give up control of just about everything for Him. It started with orgasm control and quickly moved onto the slave as an object, He a Man who owned her body, mind and indeed her name. Next was certain modifications of her body; the piercings and finally her limits.
Somewhere in between Master and His girl have worked out His wants and needs around other aspects of life. He wants her to need Him, but not so much that she can’t function in her normal daily life. This girl has a job in senior management and needs to be able to function at a high level and to exercise control over that part of her life. She earns a reasonable salary and is self sufficient in that area of her life, though appreciates advice and guidance on money management and likes to discuss work related issues. He always asks about her day and it keen to discuss ways in which things have gone well or not.This girl expects and indeed likes to pay her way and they both agree that is important for them both. Family life is her own domain as is management of her ex, but often she seeks advice and while he gives it freely, He doesn’t insist she follow it since that is her domain. In general, life is reasonably stable, He expects her to be able to function from day to day with the minimum of guidance. If there is a problem, then she might need additional help, but in general during week days contact is just in the evenings. Weekends are spent together. So this girl can say she is in the main a low maintenance slave.

So to the future. firstly body modification: He would like more piercings, a tattoo or two and much shorter hair. This girl is excited by the idea that she might have some more piercings – both favour the labia to be next. Weird as it might be to some, the idea of getting 2 or even 4 piercings is very exciting to this girl. She would like rings that can be laced, or linked to the clit piercing. Even indeed to her nipples. This girl has struggled with being able to manage rings in her nipples, only due to the little balls that the rings tend to have and the problem of getting them in place. What she needs is a friend who can help her manage them (they are seriously fiddly to a person whose close vision is completely shot to pieces). But the idea of rings linking the labia, clit and nipples is truly exciting to both Master and this girl. The tattoo idea is no problem to this girl, but the hair is a different concept entirely.

Interestingly, this girl is incredibly turned on by the idea of having her hair shaved. Master identifies His ideal slave as someone who has a shaved head and this girl can see and buy into that. The reality of managing the hair stylist and her friends, family and work colleagues are something else entirely. Over the past year though, this girl has gone from having hair which reaches almost to her shoulder to a style which is pretty short. Many people have commented and in a good way. It is just the next step that feels a challenge, though not one too far.

Lastly there is the service that this girl can give to Master each and every day and His wish and need for that. Over the Christmas holidays, Master and His slave spent 3 weeks together, 24 hours a day. We both know that this is our ideal life. One where this girl is able to serve Him in all ways. Sexually of course, as she does now. But also one who is able to look after Him, cook and clean and generally be there as He needs. There are other needs – humiliation, degradation, exhibitionism. All of those needs could finally be met as He wanted.

This collared slave loves the fact she is owned and possessed, but for both, Master and slave, more is needed and soon.

Sex and obsession on a Saturday

Saturday for us started slowly. We woke late (well late for me) and spent time just browsing the net and chatting. It was clear to me what kind of websites Master was browsing on his phone, since he was rubbing his cock as he studied his phone. Soon he moved onto me, the object I am pleased to say, of his desire. He started as he often does with my nipples, pinching and then sucking them and quickly the first orgasm was offered to me; of course I took what was on offer. Then Master was ready to take possession of his cunt, feeling very pleased with himself as I told him that this cunt was inside His cunt. The use of objectification is becoming an increasing part of our sex life. He loves me to describe myself as a bitch or cunt and I would be lying if I didn’t admit that this really does turn me on.

A little later, showered and having had our morning coffee we left to drive to the station to get the train to Sexpo UK

Sexpo, which was on all over the weekend was a combination of exhibition, live entertainment including pole and other exotic dancing, stalls selling various sex related products. A number of very busty, scantily clad porn actresses sat behind desks, signing photos and sometimes emerging from the safety of their stalls to pose for paid for photos. There was also a petting zoo – which apart from a few of the toys was probably the most BDSM related part.  The exhibition was held at London’s main exhibition centre, at the same time as the Good Food Show. Funnily enough few of the people visiting the food show would even have known what was going on next door.

Events like Sexpo bring out an interesting range of people. Those who appear to have wandered in by mistake (though since security was tight that wouldn’t have been the case) and seemed a little bemused, though interested by their surroundings. Then there were people whose entire experience of sex is probably porn films, plus maybe the rubber bottoms (asses) on offer, next the fifty shades generation, dipping their toes into the bigger world of sex toys, corsets, short skirts and rubber / latex. Finally there were just a few people clearly part of the BDSM lifestyle; I only saw a couple of people wearing collars, one or two women wearing little more than a bra, or not even that, then of course there were the pets. But there was no real sign of the kind of people you usually get at alternative markets and fairs. The most bizarre thing we saw was a naked guy who was painting portraits, while people posed, with his penis – I kid you not! I asked Master if dipping your cock in paint and using it as a brush all day would make it sore, he said he thought it would.

I had thought I might buy myself some new item of clothing, but apart from the corsets didn’t see much I wanted, and anyway as Master pointed out I am still in the process of getting to the weight I would like to be. So I ended up buying nothing. Master made a study of various floggers and other implements and we generally looked around, but came away empty handed. It was a fun way to spend an hour or two.

Next we grabbed an early dinner before crossing London to get to the BFI where we had tickets for the 1987 film of sex, lust and obsession – Fatal Attraction. Master had never seen the film before, but I had. In 1987 I was still newly married, and in my mid 20s. It was the kind of film hubby and I went to see during that time, popular, a little raunchy and starring Michel Douglas as Dan. I remember that I found it exciting and just a little scary, since Glenn Close plays such a crazy woman who you didn’t know what she would do next.

Observations in 2015 are that the film still has the suspense that it always did but that it is mystifying to know how Michael Douglas’ character didn’t see through Alex’s (Glenn Close) in the first 10 minutes. 1987 was pretty much the height of the anxiety and near hysteria over AIDS, so I am not sure why Alex was able to get pregnant. I guess though that hollywood didn’t discuss condom use then or practise safe sex. One thing I don’t think I noticed in 1987 was that the two main female characters appeared to wear no underwear at all, but then I notice this kind of thing much more now. I am not really sure that the film has aged well, and certainly Master found it all a little far fetched, especially the scenes where Alex has broken into Dan and Beth’s house and the scene in the bath. Indeed a number of the very small audience found the scene where Alex rises up in the bath, having been ‘drowned’ by Dan hilarious.

Still given the rest of the day – sex and then sexpo, it was probably a fitting film to see.

Figged and tied

Sometimes without knowing it,  or indeed knowing what it is you might have on a bucket list of kink, you can tick items off. Also, a you might find a photo on tumblr (in this case reblogged by Master) and suggest you would like to do that, and next thing you really are.

So this morning Master played with His girl. This was the position she found herself in:

This girl hastens to say, that this isn’t her, but is the photo mentioned above which we both reblogged. This girl was blindfolded and she wore a leather collar, but in her case it was part of a harness that also framed her tits.

This girl had waited for what seems like ages for a play session. This morning when it started though, she didn’t really feel in the mood. The position she was in was uncomfortable and then he put something into her anus. Something which felt a bit like a plug, but then again not. Whatever it was, she was sure he hadn’t put it in properly and she said so. He laughed and said it was definitely in! She wondered about telling Him to forget the whole thing, but deep down knew that 1) she needed this and 2) He would likely ignore her since she is His slave and anyway was far past the point of any choice in the matter.

He put on some music, something pretty erotic – who knew that Madonna had produced such stuff (certainly not this girl who stopped bothering with her during her adopting African children phase). Then out came the hitachi and everything changed. Damn that man for giving this girl such an amazing orgasm and then leaving the thing in place. Gradually the anxiety about not wanting to be there subsided, and the burning in her bottom started to grow. What the hell is that, this girl thought to herself. She wasn’t able to think much about it though since He started to use the violet wand with its various attachments. Some of those are very pleasant, and some are downright painful. But painful in a nice way (damn Him). There was also flogging of the inner thighs and the cunt. Plus there was the horrible snake thing which girl doesn’t like and we now realise she might be a bit allergic to. But anyway, senses were in overdrive, and Madonna was belting out “Deeper” just as Master decided to do just that.

This girl felt the warmth of His body between her spread legs and felt Him plunge deep inside her. Suddenly too she remembered exactly what she needed and today, what she needed, she got.

It transpires that the ginger this girl found in Master’s fridge yesterday was not there for cooking specifically, but to be inserted into her arse. This girl has been figged and tied to the Erotica Album by Madonna.

Deeper, Madonna

Seeing her as He sees her

A couple of weeks this girl wrote a post about a play session that had happened the day before. Yesterday (as He is prone at times to do), Master posted this photo on His tumblr blog:

Reading back to that post, things look a little different to what was recollected at the time, something that is not especially unusual. But how wonderful for this girl to see that slave as He saw her that morning.

Restraint, pain (the marks are post flogging) and pleasure. All in one go

Kinks and fetishes

Master has given me the task of blogging about my kinks and fetishes. I have written about all of them in this blog in the past, but this will give me the opportunity to go into much more detail.

There is no doubt that life in the kinky world has moved quickly for me, since my first encounters in April 2012. I was lucky to meet a man who made his fetishes clear to me and then who pushed my boundaries to achieve them. I have to admit the first time he called me a slut, or a whore, I wasn’t sure  I exactly liked it. But what was clear was that being called those names turned me on. So in no particular order:

Humiliation and exhibitionism – I am putting these together, because even though it is not always the case so often they have taken place at the same time. Wearing clothes I wouldn’t usually wear, perhaps without underwear can be both liberating and at the same time humiliating. Being out with Master while wearing  a short and revealing dress turns me on. I love the idea that others might look at me and think me a slut, I am willing to expose myself for Him, and to stand in a way that He can touch me up in a public place. I find it exciting, thrilling and shameful all at the same time. Sometimes though, I have been meeting Him somewhere and for example might have been to buy shoes. I am aware of my body at all times, the fear that i might need to bend over, might trip and my body be seen is scary but exciting. I love to be told how dirty I am, I love also to be made to express myself in words I wouldn’t usually wish to. To use the words whore, slut, cunt in ways that I know turn Him on and in doing so do the same to me. To have those words written on my body and to see them in the mirror as I dress in the morning is also a big turn on. I am not sorry that Master doesn’t have the same fetish for heels and stockings as S did. While I like the feel of the stockings, they are often too short, as I am tall. Of course, I would never have objected if that had been what He had wanted from me.

Being touched, played with, or even having sex out doors, especially in a public place is a big turn on for me. I love the feel of the air on my skin and the risks associated with being discovered doing something that is essentially taboo.

Anal play – I have written here quite a bit about the thrill Anal sex gives me. It feels on the one hand the most intimate thing, the biggest turn on and on the other something shameful (back to the humiliation thing). Increasingly I can orgasm without stimulation elsewhere, while having anal sex. What is more, the very presence of a butt plug, can be calming and settling. It helps put me into the most amazing head space. I have my new, larger plug at home and am very much looking forward to getting to know it much more intimately.

Restraint – I love to be restrained, especially when I have had a lot going on in my life, when I am tense. I love my legs to be restrained in the spreader bar, to have my arms tied (though I am less keen on handcuffs as they can be uncomfortable). If I am also blindfolded and gagged, then all the better. I love the way in which all of those things heighten your senses and make it hard to know what is exactly being done to you and with what toy.

Recently I have discovered that multiple orgasms, forced or otherwise, can have the effect of making me feel as though I am restrained, when I am not. This feeling helps my submission, especially when again I have been somewhat stressed for whatever reason.

Nipple play – My nipples have always been sensitive, but since I had them pierced you can multiply that 10 fold. I love when He plays with them in a public place or gives them a quick squeeze. I love them played with during sex, and I found out last week that it is possible to cum with no stimulation other than having your breast squeezed. I love also to play with  my own nipples and when alone, I do.

Pain – I am something of a pain slut, but not a masochist by any stretch of the imagination. Having said that, the more turned on I am, then the more pain I can tolerate. Especially if Master has taken a reasonably slow approach, perhaps starting with the violet wand and moving up through various paddles, crops and whips. Pain on my cunt, my tits and my legs are as good for me as on my bottom and back though.

Orgasm control, forced orgasms – The most amazing thing ever in my book is the hitachi, to be forced against your will (if indeed it was against my will) to cum multiple times with that wonderful toy is one of the best things. Closely followed by being able to cum just because someone tells you to. Luckily for me, Master likes me to cum and considers it an important thing, that orgasms are released and given to Him. Giving up that control was the first thing I did for Him and it is probably what got me to where I am now.

Cock worship – I am not sure this is a fetish or kink, since doesn’t every woman do this? Maybe not, since I didn’t in the past. The D/s dynamic gives a whole new perspective; He wants you to get down before Him and take Him, you want to, since you love His cock so much. Whatever, I do actually worship His very cock.

Have I missed anything? This might be a post that I need to add to……