My menopausal history
It is 5 years or so since I began to experience symptoms of the menopause. Over that time the slow down and ceasing of periods has been the biggest advantage. Along with no longer needing to use contraception. But the downside has been the night sweats and hot flashes, these have been a major disadvantage. Often I have been sitting in the office, minding my own business when the telltale signs appear. An immense heat spreading through your body, from top to bottom or vice versa. Just when I am about to speak at a meeting, I feel myself flush and begin to over heat. At night I can be both freezing cold and unbearably hot within 5 minutes.
Thankfully the flashes are subsiding. But they are now replaced with physical changes. My body is definitely changing, my breasts are losing their definition. At present there is little to see, but they do feel different. But the worst symptom to date is pain when I have vaginal sex.
Sex and my menopause
To begin with I thought the pain I was feeling must be in my head. Specialist websites suggest dryness and thinning of the vaginal wall causing pain. I am definitely (thankfully) not dry. Rather it is like my body has gone into spasm. I have begun to fear penetration, to be anxious about the pain. This in turn is leading to Master, who doesn’t want to hurt me to fear he will cause damage. Last week, we had anal sex for the first time in ages. We found this less painful than recent attempts at vaginal sex. It made us wonder why anal had slipped off of our agenda, and gave hope for the future. This weekend though we both wanted him to penetrate my cunt.
We have discovered that sex lying on our sides is a really good starting point. After some kind of foreplay that is. Increasingly I need him to stroke and lick me so that I am well lubricated. Equally me stroking and sucking him turns me on too, so there is something for us both. Even then, it can still hurt and the days when his cock just slips in seem to be far and few between. Yesterday though we actually spoke about the fears be both had and then set about trying to over come them. On my side, with him behind seemed less painful than starting on top or underneath. Since we had plenty of time and now feeling confident that my body would respond I got on top next. Any initial pain soon disappeared as I rode his cock and he played with my tits and stroked my clit.
I hate what the menopause is doing to my body, and to my mind. I hate the idea that Master is frightened he might hurt me, or just that it is just too difficult to penetrate me. We still don’t know if I need to get some outside help or if it is just about time and patience. Yesterday morning’s sex though showed we can overcome. After riding him, I was able to get off, lie down and have him cum inside me. That might sound quite vanilla, but it was what I wanted. Plus he slid back in and there was no pain.