Squirting

The events of the weekend seem to have reignited my desire to blog, reminding me that I still have stuff to say. Sunday showed me that, whatever else happened we still have the M/s dynamic. I am his slave and want him to be proud of me. So, for the first time in ages, I am writing my third blog post in a week.

This week’s Kink of the week is about squirting, or female ejaculation. This is my topic for today.

Until about 4 or 5 years ago, I don’t believe I even knew it was possible to squirt. After all, at that time, I was still an orgasm novice. Unless that is I was making myself cum. Generally most of my experience had been through clitoral stimulation, my preference at the time. My reading around this subject tells me that female ejaculation tends to happen through G spot stimulation.

S explored all of my body,  attending to my needs as no one had before. He was keen on providing multiple orgasms in a variety of ways. Looking back sex with him followed a specific pattern, often starting with me sucking him and ending up with penetration of some kind. But along the way there were orgasms for me. I think (and my memory grows vaguer as time progresses) I may have once squirted for him. Well, lets say there was a feeling I may have peed myself, though I know I hadn’t. He told me I had squirted and I believed him.

With Master there is no doubt I have come close. Many many times, I have had the feeling I am about to release fluid, to squirt. But for some reason it doesn’t happen. I am often very wet, when he is forcing orgasms from me. Often many orgasms over a short period of time. When he overstimulates my body, while I am restrained and blindfolded. When he is fucking me. When his fingers find my g-spot and make me feel I might explode. But the fact this hasn’t happened over the past 3.5 years makes me wonder if I ever did squirt. If the idea was put into my mind by someone who wanted it to be true, but that it is a false memory.

Anyway does it matter? Isn’t being aroused to orgasm multiple times enough? Do I want or need to squirt for him? Probably not. Though I know that it is something he really would like to happen. Since it is not a conscious act it is not something I can make happen and I think for both of us there are more important things in our lives. Things like a loving relationship, a good sex life, our power exchange dynamic and the fact that he turns me on like crazy. I think that’s enough.

 

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Being naked

The idea of spending several hours completely naked in public freaked me out. Stupid really since this is something I wanted to happen. Ever since I found out about play parties where the male Dominant is fully clothed and the female submissive naked, I wanted to try it. I am an exhibitionist, I do like to be naked for Master and wanted to attend a play event.  But theory and reality are two different things and yesterday I faced that head on.

The car journey, me wearing a little dress and cardigan with nothing underneath, passed far too quickly. We arrived just before the doors opened at 2pm and having to wait in the car made me feel even worse. So much so that I actually told Master I wasn’t going in.

But, as people started to get out of their cars I found myself following. Inside the building I encountered 3 or 4 entirely naked women, people helping at the event (as well as some clothed gents). My feelings of anxiety melted a little and I headed for the changing rooms.

Many women kept some clothes on, lingerie, stockings, shoes. Others sported chains or harnesses much like I own. I made the decision before leaving home that being naked would be best for me for this first day. Lingerie or stockings would be an easy option and kind of cheating. However those wearing more than nothing were pretty sensible as they kept warmer than I was able to.

Out in the main rooms, there were sofas for relaxing and various benches, crosses, pulleys for play. Most people brought implements and toys with them. As mentioned yesterday, I haven’t been well and so to avoid any temptation Master left his at home. While I was jealous of those being spanked, tied and played with I know that he had my best interests at heart. Plus it doesn’t mean that he didn’t sit touching and fondling his slave. I found watching others quite the turn on and know that next time I will be ready to be watched.

We met some great, very friendly new people and I discovered that I wasn’t alone in  being nervous about displaying myself to everyone else. It was good too to meet new people outside of the munch scene. To meet others who are part of a D/s or M/s dynamic. This felt a fun, but very safe place to explore this side of myself in a more public place.

By the time we left I was already looking forward to the next time. Thinking about what Master might do to me, how he might want to play with his slave. This morning Master texted me to tell me how proud of me he was. How much he liked displaying me to others.

I have to admit that I enjoyed being naked on public display much more than I even imagined I would. Next time hopefully I’ll be a little less nervous.

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Excitement and fear

It’s a long time since I had a new D/s related experience. We are settled in our life together, and much of what we do around the D/s or BDSM area is tried and tested. In the main we keep that aspect of our lives separate from other people. This week we attended one of our local munches, we are acquainted with many of the people at that and other events. But we only know those people in a relatively vanilla place. We haven’t attended any of the events of which they speak. We haven’t been to play parties with them. Up until now we have kept ourselves just that little bit separate.

Today that is going to change. For the first time we are going to a Clothed Male naked female event. In for a penny in for a pound! The idea of wandering around naked while Master is fully dressed in a suit is theoretically fine. But when the other females are also naked and the other males smartly dressed?

Will I be cold? Will I feel self conscious? Will I want to gaze at the bodies of the other women? What will we do while there? I am a bit nervous about my ability to experience too much in the way of play today, since I have been ill for much of the week with a virus and a cough. I am on the mend and no longer feel ill. But we both know that I am not fully fit at the moment.

He asked me earlier if I am going to make him proud today. I always try to do that and know that I will do my best not to let him down. I want to enjoy this new experience. I want to embrace the excitement I feel about going to this event, but I am also fearful. Those two feelings are not dissimilar in the way they manifest themselves inside us and time will tell which wins through. Whatever happens this will be an interesting day and there will be experiences to write about here. That can only be a good thing.

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TMI Tuesday – 29 August 2017

1. Have you ever had sex in the changing room of a store?

No, I can’t say I have and it probably isn’t on my list of places to have sex in. I am more likely to go for an open space rather than a small cubicle!

2. Ever blindfolded your partner for sex or have you been blindfolded during sex?

I’ve been blindfolded on several occasions. I love it when I don’t need to think about what is going on, but to just experience it. Being blindfolded enhances other senses, of touch, smell, sound. 

3. Who out there likes to be tied up for sex?

I have frequently been tied up for play, which also involves some kind of sex act. When it comes to the actual sex though, it is good to be able to move. Having said that, if he wants me tied up for sex, then I am. There is something weirdly freeing when I am restrained. No point in resisting, and so I just don’t. Coupled with being blindfolded, is perfect in my book.

4. Shower sex…yea or nay? Why?

I love having a shower together and getting all soapy and wet, then seeing what comes next. So oh yes. 

5. Ever done a striptease for a lover?

Yes, in my younger days. I dare say, I could easily do so again.

Bonus: What are you thinking?

That I would like to get down to some of this right now. But right now Master is an hour or so away, and I have my mother here. Still, something good to look forward to.

————

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

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Late night fun

This is the first weekend in over a year that Master and I haven’t been together. I am in France with my mum, he is at home. But the great news is, that he sets off today to join us. Well tonight he will stay in London, and tomorrow take the train to Paris and on down through France. On Tuesday I will collect him and bring him here.

Sitting here in bed on my own, my mind drifts back to a couple of weeks ago. When we finally got around to trying out the swing that Master bought a while back. Apparently he thinks that it will be useful while he has a painful shoulder. No doubt it it, but I think it has greater longevity than that!

These are action shots. The first blurry one taken by me on his phone. It isn’t an iPhone, and I struggled to work it. Plus I was a little preoccupied. The second, much clearer is taken by him. Late night fun indeed!

Sinful Sunday
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What’s my name?

For most of my life I was only called by my given name, Julie. I hated it when people shortened Julie to Ju, it struck me as lazy and uncreative. A family friend called me Jools, and for a while that stuck. As a young teen at the time it felt grown up, and smart, unlike Ju. After my marriage I became JJ and tended not to mind that either. But my parents called me Julie, as did my husband and most other people around me.

5 years ago, when I embarked upon this journey, one involving illicit sex with a bit of kink thrown in. I called myself Joolz on the various websites and on my new blog. The people I met at that time either didn’t know my real name or chose not to use it. To them I was Joolz.

But when Master and I met, 3 and a half years ago now. He saw me as someone else. To him Joolz was someone who was a bit scary, who had been struggling to find her true self. Joolz was someone in transition from Julie to……….. But who.

He wanted me to refer to myself as ‘this girl’. As far as he was concerned, my journey as a submissive needed to include some introspection about what and who I was. By removing the need to think of myself in the first person or as Julie the mother or daughter, the submissive inside would feel more real. At the same time he was of the opinion that Joolz was someone who had belonged to another, someone who had rejected me. By letting go of Joolz, I let go of that part of my past. Gave myself fully to him. Allowed myself to be absorbed into his ownership, to become his property.

Gradually over time this girl has become girl. He called and does call me girl. At times he has admitted that he has struggled to remember that I am also Julie. A 55 year old girl? Yes, but not any girl. His girl, his submissive and his slave. I do still refer to myself as ‘this girl’ but mainly during sex or play. The rest of the time I just know who and what I am, even when people call me Julie. I know I am His girl.

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TMI Tuesday – Sex on the Brain

Sex on the Brain

1. Is a weird “sex face/orgasm face” a total deal-breaker?

I am of the opinion that once you get to the point of orgasm, then your face is likely to demonstrate true emotions much more than anything you say. If someone’s expression is a little weird at that point then so be it! Anyway who is paying attention to that kind of thing unless they are on film and that is something else entirely.

2. Do you enjoy having your balls played with (or playing with balls)?

I have no balls, but enjoy playing with Masters balls during sex.

3. Have you ever hooked-up with somebody based on their proximity to your smartphone location (Tinder, GRINDR, etc)?

Nope. Never used Tinder, though my son met his fiancé that way. We did meet online however. I guess the fact we met in a chatroom makes us old school!

4. You have some free-time in the workday–blow job or intercourse? (BJ can be giving or receiving).

Gosh, this has never happened. I guess giving a blog job would be easier, quicker and less likely to affect my ability to get through the rest of the day……..

5. How long after having sex with a new partner do you have to wait before falling asleep?

I think that when we first had sex we both drifted off afterwards. Mind you it was a little more than straight sex. That was 3.5 years ago so must qualify in the new bracket.

Bonus: What’s the dirtiest or sexiest text message you’ve ever received?

In the early days some of his texts to me included instructions about what to wear or do. That hasn’t happened for a while. Most texts these days are direct and functional!

————

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday

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Birthday present

He left my present at home last weekend. Actually I caught a glimpse of it the day before when I was around his place. I asked him what it was, and he said it was my gift. I asked him why he didn’t buy me flowers, or something else I can show family and friends. He laughed and asked where the fun was in that.

The truth is, that while I love flowers, they would by now be on the wane. A week since my birthday flowers would be beginning to fade and within a day or two they would be in the bin. Where as this will last a whole lot longer. Yesterday we tried it out. The padded seat is very comfortable, and by rocking backwards and forwards the dildo moved in an out. He found it a massive turn on (well, so of course did I), and that little bit of play led to some hot sex. I need a little more practice to get the best from it, but as birthday presents go, this is definitely sexy, fun and long-lasting.

I guess the only think missing here is a naked me! Sinful for Sunday all the same though.

Sinful Sunday
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A new day, a new year

Today is my birthday, and as I enter a new year of life I somehow find myself ready to blog again. The past couple of months have been somewhat quiet here. Save the occasional, writers block post Sinful Sunday has been my only regular offering.

Last week’s Sinful Sunday post, a spur of the moment shot of Master changing a lightbulb naked  was rated in the top 5 by Molly. It is those kind of shots that really are the best. Therefore this week, since I have taken no photo involving stairs (this week’s prompt) I am taking a rest.

Instead I am happy to report that our sex and M/s life is resurrecting itself. Or rather, perhaps we are finding the time to get it going again. Since holiday we have been busy. Weekends away, stuff to do around the house and garden. Plus we both seemed to have returned from holiday with a strange malaise that wouldn’t seem to shift. Master has a painful shoulder, which I hope he will seek medical help for soon. This weekend though, we have shoved all of that aside.

Two mornings in a row we have had sex. Raw, just woke up and wanted to grope and kiss each other sex. Yesterday, my eyes were barely open before I found myself on my knees before him, sucking his cock. This morning I was awake first, reading birthday messages on Facebook when He began to finger my clitoris. Then he went down on me, orgasms flew through me in a way that I haven’t experienced in months. Mindful of his shoulder pain I have been on top more than of late. I had almost forgotten how wonderful that feeling is, his control from beneath me is something to behold.

As recently as Friday I was wondering if I was still his submissive bitch. Something in the things I said, and my body language that night seem to have seemed through. To us both. We have reminded ourselves of who we are to each other and that feels really good.

Sinful Sunday will resume here next week, meantime if you read this please do click on the lips and see the great photos everyone has contributed this week. But for me, today I will enjoy my birthday and savour the thoughts of yesterday, this morning and all the days to come.

Sinful Sunday
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How many Doms does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

Sinful Sunday
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