What’s mine is yours
What’s yours is only for
You let others see
On good days
What’s your Possession.
What your manlessness wants to exclude from the presence of anyone else.
In the crowd you’ll sit and taste
With a bittersweet dispair
that “She is mine”.
Then why do I
It’s a cold, grey Sunday in my part of England. One of the things I hate most about wintertime is the lack of sunlight. I can manage cold, I’ll even cope with a small amount of snow. But what I need is to see the sun. I long for a beautiful blue sky, a shiny yellow ball of bright light, wispy clouds. If only we had more bright sunny days.
Mind you I also miss the warmth of the sun in spring and summer. I miss the opportunity to wander around naked outside. Mind you, it helps if you are somewhere with a great view, a place like this.
This month’s Sinful Sunday prompt is about things we do regularly or as a routine. I love to take a bath, but in the main don’t have the time for a bath a day. Over the past month though, there have been many times we have been able take a bath much more often. We are lucky that Master had a jacuzzi bath fitted last year which has helped. Last month in Amsterdam we had this lovely bath in our hotel room, it is just a bit bigger that the one at home. And so gives more room for relaxing, sipping champagne and getting clean (or dirty depending on your point of view). A bath a day would be nice, but all the more enjoyable when you take advantage when you can.
Yesterday I posted part one of this review for Wicked Wednesday and linked to a number of the bloggers and sites that have helped and influenced me this year. Today, part 2.
The creativity I managed to find for blogging this month was double that of last. Sadly this is not saying very much as there were just 4 posts. On 10th I expressed some of the reasons for the drought (holiday, work and meme overload). If I have learned one thing this year, it is not to over think and force the issue. The blog won’t disappear (even if readers do) and quality really is much more important than quantity.
Sinful Sunday has been a constant and Master is now involved in the photos, both as photographer and subject. This post might be one of my favourites so far and I am proud to have been named amongst the top 5 participants for this shot. The joy of mirrors!
During much of the first half of the year our sex life and M/s relationship was dormant. The two are inextricably linked, as although we are always Master and slave it is most evident in the bedroom. Master’s shoulder problems, evident last year re-emerged. And at the same time we both found our libido low. As I emerge from the menopause I am struggling to find my sexual mojo. My body looks and feels different and I often feel tired. On 6th August, my 55th birthday I posted of a change to that situation. Another Sinful Sunday on 27th demonstrated the measures Master has taken to help us overcome our difficulties. The sex swing in action!
Another first, when we attended a Clothed Male, naked female event. I wrote about my feelings about being naked in a venue of other naked women and clothed Men. This was really my first experience of D/s protocol of this kind. Sadly I wasn’t well that day and so we couldn’t play. But it was an amazing experience. I met new people as well as meeting up with some that we do know. Perhaps then a good opportunity to mention Sub Bee (who was also at the event and is a regular). We first met at a local munch and while I don’t know Bee and her partner well we also met at Eroticon. If you are not familiar with Sub Bee’s blog you should take a look. She writes candidly about her relationship, bisexuality and other topics as well as posting some fantastic images.
Elust features the best of sex blogging and is published each month by Molly. Bloggers and writers are invited to submit the best of their material which is then peer reviewed by an army of willing volunteers. While there are winners, there are no losers as everyone that submits a valid entry is published. Everyone then republishes, which means that it can reach far and wide within the kink community. My own blogging drought this year means I haven’t submitted many posts, but in October I did – to Elust 99.
The feature photo is from Exhibit Unadorned and features a bunch of bloggers having fun. This gives me the opportunity to mention his Exhibit A blog as well as that of his wife The Other Livvy. Both blogs are worth a visit, but be warned they are excellent and talented writers and photographers. So you may be there for sometime! They are newlyweds and seem like amazingly fun people. I saw them at Eroticon but we didn’t speak. I hope this will change next year.
There has been many a time over the past few years, when short of inspiration, I have turned to TMI Tuesday. Usually this involves a few questions on a sexy or kinky topic to write as little or as much as you feel able. On 7th November though, there was something different. We were given the words: Dragging, Kitchen, Bedroom, Sofa, Albert Einstein, Closer, Eggbeater, Olive oil, Eight and Rain and asked to create a story. There is very little fiction on my blog. It takes more head space than I can usually muster. But for once I embraced the challenge rather than moving on. I am quite proud of this post and need to do more.
Increasingly mainstream social and other media as well as government seems to be trying to reduce freedom of expression. Especially in the sex writing and blogging community. Using the protection of minors as an excuse they are attempting to gag and blog the things we say and show. On 18th November I took part in my first Share our Shit Saturday. In 2018 I intend to focus much more on doing just that!
Earlier in December we attended a febsub event at the same club that the CMnf one is held. Held on 3rd, it helped me get into an early Christmassy mood. The theme was pantomime, but since I have always wanted a santa type costume I chose the latter. I was very pleased with the result, as was Master and many others.
I mentioned in part 1 that Master had a new bathroom installed this year. The jacuzzi bath has been an amazing and wonderful source of late night relaxation and enjoyment. Something I highly recommend!
In some ways this has been a lean blogging year for me. But I am proud that I have kept going. Have posed every month and have kept true to myself and our relationship. There are lots of challenges ahead for us as a couple (more of that to come in the next few days). But also many opportunities for me as a blogger.
So the end of the year is nigh. For me, this year has been a little bit strange. I started with hope and expectation and end, well with hope and expectation. Meanwhile I have travelled to new places, enjoyed new and very different experiences. But in many ways life remains the same. Perhaps 2018 then?
On January 1st I posted my predictions for the year ahead. I truly believed that this year I would sell the house and move in with Master. But mum deciding to move closer to my brother plus my ex’s parter wanting to buy my share of ours changed that. We have travelled to new places – Brussels, Toulouse and Alsace – Lorraine. But as for living together, hopefully next year.
On Feb 18th I shared the move to my own domain on Sinful Sunday. I completely underestimated the amount of work involved in a self hosted blog. But to be honest it has been worth it. I have a freedom here that I never experienced before. It is easier to manage than blogger and the move has helped me to express that freedom. Sinful Sunday is a wonderful meme run and hosted by Molly Moore on her blog Molly’s Daily Kiss. Within hours of my move, Molly’s husband Michael, web master extraordinaire had identified some security issues on the blog (due to my naive ineptitude in the main) and helped me fix them. Sadly Michael doesn’t write very much these days, but when he does, the posts are well worth a read. Passionate, deeply sexy, serious or fun as the need arises.
On 6th March I shared my thoughts on our Eroticon experience. For the first time we had mixed with other kinky people. The weekend organised by Molly, Michael and Girl on the Net was almost overwhelming. We met new people, but found it difficult to interact with strangers. I learnt so much about writing and blogging, but have been almost too scared to put that learning into practice. But it was a real learning experience and this coming March I think we will take advantage of the experience so much more. I met many of the bloggers I admire at Eroticon but sadly didn’t speak to all of those I should have. For example Jerusalem Mortimer and Silver Dom
At the very end of March it was Master’s birthday. He decided to celebrate by taking us to the Secret Dungeon. In April I joined the Blogging A-Z challenge and introduced photos from the dungeon on 1st. Then described more of the environment and experience on 5th – D for dungeon. To be honest it was an important time for us both. We were able to explore our kink in a way we hadn’t for a very long time. We created memories that have lived with us and what is more, it made us want to return for more. I am not sure if the a-z Challenge will run again in 2018, or if I will participate. But this year I had no shortage of material!
One of the things that might put me off of joining a whole month’s challenge such as Blogging A-Z or February Photofest is the potential for running out of steam. By May it was clear this was happening. On 6th May I posted ‘One of those update posts‘. It gave an indication of what was to come. I struggled with ideas and creativity, added to the pressure of normal life. A blogging drought. However May was also the month when Master’s new bathroom was installed, complete with jacuzzi bath! More of that in part 2.
In May too though I had the opportunity to provide the roundup and judge Wicked Wednesday for the first time. This for me was something of a learning experience. Marie Rebelle from Rebel’s Notes has had a difficult year. Coping with the distressing loss of her mum as well as the trauma of a flood in her home. I wasn’t able to meet her at Eroticon as sadly she was unable to travel to London while her mum was unwell. I so admire the work she puts into all elements of her blog, including Wicked Wednesday. She has launched Smut Marathon, a writing competition, which starts in January. Taking on the round up of Wicked Wednesday gave me a tiny insight into the lives of bloggers such as Marie and others who give so much to this community. But also it makes me want to contribute too.
In June I posted only twice. In my defence, we were on holiday in Alsace – Lorraine in France for 2 weeks of June. But to be honest I was a little out of ideas and had lost my blogging mojo. Reflections, for Sinful Sunday was an easily captured pair of photos. Perhaps though by looking deeper than the mirror and the person reflected within you consider more about the blogger. Why is she doing this? What is she trying to say? More of that in part 2. Tomorrow.