Cock worshipping through skype

Even though i would love to, i am unable to see, feel, smell or taste Sir’s cock every day. Even though it has been a couple of weeks since i last saw Him, i am fully able to visualise and to remember as i lie in bed of a morning or night. i love to imagine that i am touching His smooth shaft and that my hand is firmly placed around it as i widen my mouth in preparation to take him within. Sir has a large cock which is more than a mouthful, which means that when i do have It in my mouth, i am forced to give it my full attention. Sir of course loves me to worship Him in this way; why wouldn’t he. He is my Master and i am His sub, His slut.

Recently we have used skype as a means of chatting and also as a way of being able to see each other’s bodies as we do so. Sir loves to see my underwear, He loves to see me undress and to show him His possessions, the holes where he loves to put His cock. He loves to see me touch myself for Him, while i tell Him that i am a slut and a whore and tell him how much i love to feel His cock inside me.

In turn, i love to see Him stroke that lovely, big, fat cock. i love to imagine i am kneeling before him and that he is forcing it deep into my throat making my eyes water. i love to imagine running my tongue up and down its shaft, to be sucking him. i love to think of how it smells, to taste his precum as it emerges. As He strokes, He does so in a way that says – look at me, look at my lovely cock, look i love it as much as you do – and that makes me even more turned on and even closer to cumming for him.

While i look at Him through the means of this modern technology, i yearn to be there with him and i think ahead to the day when i will be. Skype isn’t the same as being in the same room, but it certainly helps me in my worship of His cock.

The lovely Spanky has started a new Cock Worshipping Subs blog and i have become one of the authors there. i am going to cross post this post there.

Picture from Simply Black and White

Anal sex – a fulfilling taboo

holdyourorgasm:  http://holdyourorgasm.tumblr.com/
If someone had told me a year ago that i would be having anal sex with anyone, much less enjoying the experience i would have told them that they were completely and utterly mad. Yet here i am full in the knowledge that i really am an anal slut.
It remains something i struggle with, since, even though no one actually ever told me that that was wrong, i still conformed to the belief that in some way it is dirty. Even though this was the case, i seemed to take little persuading that it was something i should try. Sir loves the idea that it is something that only He and i have done together, and that until He came along i had a virgin arse. In turn, i too love this thought and feeling.
It helps put me in my submissive place to feel like the slut, the whore that HE craves. It helps me find my submission and it helps me to feel that what i am doing is special.
The experience of the past 10 months or so has meant that i have learned to give myself to my internal anal slut and to find it easier and easier to be aroused and to orgasm during anal sex. We are told that there are fewer sensory receptors in the anus than in the vagina, but my experience is that if this is true, the body can be fooled and actually orgasm comes more easily this way. Perhaps it is psychological and it is the fact that it is something i shouldn’t enjoy in the way i do. Maybe it relates to the fact that i yearn to do something different with Him, to please. Maybe it feeds my inner slut.
But there is no getting away from it. I really to love this part of TTWD!

Pain and pleasure

i have always known that there is a fine line between something that is pleasurable and something that is unpleasant, painful even. That sometimes you have to endure a little pain in order for the pleasure to be revealed. The pain of childbirth for example, which is immediately followed by the overwhelming feeling of pleasure as you hold your baby in your arms. But before i began on this journey, i had little experience of pain in a sexual sense. i had little idea that my body would respond in the way it does to pain.

At the beginning of our relationship, we were both a little reticent when it came to pain and Him inflicting it on me. We had anal sex pretty much immediately, and that was a little painful in the first instance, immediately giving way to pleasure. But Master didn’t rush to spank me or cause me pain in any other way. That has come gradually as we have explored my limits and He has grown to recognise my needs.

One of my first experiences of the pain / pleasure duo was when i put clothes pegs on my nipples, during a telephone conversation with Him. He could immediately tell i was finding the experience pleasurable, even while i was still feeling pain and when we next met, He introduced nipple clamps. These have been one of my biggest sources of pleasure, and even as He puts them on my, i have an urge to open my legs wide for Him as my pussy gushes forth. Squeezing and biting my nipples has a similar effect, very useful for reminding me who and what i am.

Increasingly Master is using various implements (recently a belt) to spank me and again i find the experience unpleasantly painful and wonderfully arousing at the same time. i particularly love it when he gets close to my pussy with the swipes of the belt which turns me on so much.

This past weekend, i found pain a great way to level me and reintroduce my mind and body to my submission. He had me telling him time and again about the slut, the whore that i am. While i could feel pain, whether from being spanked, pinched, squeezed, clamped or as his cock entered my needy body, i felt the juices flow from me, and the arousal within me. It felt like i had come home.

That is probably why i have struggled to get myself back together this week and why i am missing Him and my submission this week. i would give anything to get some pain and pleasure right now!

Creating a buzz

In my opinion the female orgasm is a wonderful thing, but then i would say that wouldn’t i? It would be true to say that i was a latecomer to understanding exactly what this meant to a woman. I was actually married, before i even understood the notion of the orgasm and in my 30s before i owned a vibrator. Of course once i discovered it, i found it was something that i couldn’t manage without. How wonderful is that rampant rabbit?

Before i met Sir, i had spent at least 10 years needing almost daily use of some kind of devise that would  to give me the kind of relief i could only dream of in the marital bedroom. This is no longer the case, He doesn’t restrict my orgasms but since i started to get plenty of them i have rarely needed the rabbit. But who knows whether the need will ever return?

My first Ann Summers party was during the Tupperware years (people of my age will know all about this), but even so i was unaware of the history of the vibrator.

While browsing my favorite online news website yesterday, i came across this:

In 19th-century Britain, women suffering from chronic anxiety prescribed pelvic finger massage. Doctors found this tedious and time-consuming, so they invented something to do the job for them

Apparently the vibrator was invented by doctors who treated ‘hysteria’ (chronic anxiety, irritability and abdominal heaviness) in women by msturbating them to orgasm. This took place in the doctor’s consulting room,with the doctor providing pelvic massaging so that this could be relieved. Apparently the doctors found this a tedious and tiring pass time, and so invented a labour saving device. Early versions were powered by a generator the size of a fridge, but within a few years they were much smaller and so could move out of the doctors office into the home.

Apparently it was believed that if the ‘massager’ as it was known did not penetrate then the result could not be sexual, therefore the word orgasm wasn’t used to describe the resulting effect.

A new film Hysteria, which depicts a story based on the history of the invention of the vibrator is due to be released in cinemas soon.This sounds like the type of film i should be watching with Sir given our joint love of both history and orgasm. Or am i just dreaming?

Photo – Steam powered vibrator

I am Number 18

The 18th person to become a Cock Worshiping Sub (CWS for short over at Spanky’s place Bright Bottom. i have thought of becoming a member for quite a while, because of course i do worship Sir’s cock and know that my place during play and in the bedroom is to give Him pleasure. That pleasure includes him using any part of me that he chooses for his cock. I love nothing more than to feel his cock inside me, owning me, possessing me.

What is different with Sir, as apposed to what has gone before is that i really do worship that cock. It is those moments when i am kneeling before him, with his cock in my mouth that i face who i am, what i am and where i am. i truly worship him and his cock.

Spanky has set a challenge for all the CWS members (this is number 2), as follows:

To write 55 words on the moment before you know you will be sucking a cock.

i have waited weeks for this and here i am. The smell; newly showered mixed with arousal. Is that me or you? Maybe both of us? It is big today, will it fit into my mouth? Will i be able to give you what you want? Can i take you deep enough. I will.

 

The good, the bad and slightly bizarre

I have been wondering how to describe the last couple of days and maybe this will sum it up! Perhaps reverse order, like X Factor, Britain’s Got Talent and Miss World? Warning: this will be quite a long post so I am splitting it into two.

Slightly Bizarre
Sir was very pleased with himself. He found a lovely B&B in the middle of the City, overlooking the Cathedral. It was very nice, and the room was lovely. The bed was low, but it was beautiful. If a Person arrived there organised, with rope then their Sub could be tied to that bed nicely. Still we weren’t to know, and sadly despite the lovely spacious room, with its lovely bed, beautiful bathroom, we won’t be able to visit again. This is directly related to the decision i made aproximately a week or more ago that staying over would be a step too far.

Cheating on hubby doesn’t come easily to me, i am new to it. Indeed i would say i am learning how to be Sir’s slut more quickly and efficiently than learning to be particularly adventurous or good at telling lies. Usually in a year i might stay out overnight once or twice and i have already done that 3 times (only one of those with Sir mind you, the others on bonefide work trips). I should have made this number 4 but instead i decided to go home and then return to Sir bright and early. This was a mistake in a small B&B. The lady of the house met me at the front door as i left, and asked where i was going and what about my husband? I managed to escape but then getting into my car realised i had left my glasses in Sir’s room (damn Sir’s glasses fetish, contact lenses are often more convenient)! Sir brought my glasses down, which involved him needing to interact with Mrs lady of the house!

i returned in the morning; Sir told me that she continued to refer to me as his wife, though he had never told her i was such a person. She greeted me as i came in feeling not a little embarrassed, but to be honest Sir kept me busy for a good hour or more after that (more later).

i had brought a bag with me, with the sorts of things a girl might need when meeting her lover on a summers evening (stockings, suspenders, a variety of toys and fuck me shoes to name but a few things). These were packed in the bag as we prepared to leave at around 10.30.

At around 3pm, as i dropped Sir at the station it became apparent that while we had Sir’s belongings we did not have mine. Luckily Sir had suggested he take home with him a number of items  – maids outfit and my split bra and knickers (Sir particularly likes these), so these were in his bag. After leaving Sir to get his train i returned to the B&B and Mrs lady of the house.

She opened the door with a little smile. The kind of smile that tells you she has had a good look and has a mental view of every item – the egg vibe with remote control, the butt plug, the vibrator (the last 2 not used on this occasion), the suspender belt, stockings and the black 4 inch heels. “you will be needing this” she said as i practically ran to my car and drove off. Sir’s text later showed he found all of this VERY amusing.

The moral. Be brave, stay the night with your man and don’t forget your bag especially if its contents are a little on the embarrassing side!

The Bad

This bit will be short, since not much was actually bad.

The weather could have been better; have i mentioned how terrible this summer is proving, well it is! There was rain and when it wasn’t raining it wasn’t entirely dry. Still we didn’t let the weather cause us too much trouble since we are British people who are used to it!

Sir felt a little off colour over the two days. However he didn’t really let it prevent us having some pretty good sex. OK so he wasn’t necessarily up to his own very high standards, but they were way higher than those offered up by most men. i was not disappointed!

Nothing else was especially bad. Good will follow shortly!

More Saturday thoughts

It’s been a busy day, but everything i have done today has been filled with thoughts of Monday.

Yesterday we chatted on the phone. Indeed we didn’t just chat, Sir made me come in the office of my Director. As He reminded me, i have come a long way since we met 3 months ago. We had chatted via Yahoo for a few minutes, with Sir pressing me further and further within the confines of my office to first spread my legs then to touch myself. The office is open plan, but Friday is comparatively quiet, so i had just one person next to me, though people behind and in front.  Then he phoned. He and i knew i had somewhere to take the call. I was pretty excited, since i haven’t even touched myself in two whole weeks by this time.

As we talked, Sir had me touch myself; i stood behind the closed door to do so. We talked about what we will do on Monday and what we have done before. i came easily (who wouldn’t given the restraint i have offered over the last two weeks).

Sir has apparently bought me a present for Monday, but won’t say what it is.
i have bought the remote controlled egg.

Such potential fun means that apprehension and tension is high!

So during ironing, shopping, lunch with hubby,  a walk by a canal with hubby, home for a couple of hours, tea with the inlaws then a tortuous wimbledon match involving Andy Murray, and the drive involved in getting to a from these places, all involve me thinking about Monday.  What is more i am handed the anxiety of a potential wet day on Tuesday and the thought that i may have to bring Sir here rather than enjoy outside fun.

O what a week

This week’s two lunchtime phone sessions have been rounded off by a third last night. i am currently in a hotel in the East of the Country where i am on a work related course. Last evening after dinner with my kindle in the hotel bar (plus a glass of a very average sauvignon blanc) i returned to my lonely room and dressed for sir. i have mentioned before that i am intrigued by my willingness to dress as instructed when the person who did this instructing can’t see me.  Of course i did it and enjoyed the feeling of the sexy underwear as we spoke to each other on the phone. Sir had his children staying (which is why he was unable to join me) and the fact that he whispered down the phone to make sure his older child couldn’t hear if not quite asleep made it all the sexier.

Phone sex is no replacement for the real thing but when you can’t have reality it is pretty sexy and being told what to touch and where, what toys to use and where is even more erotic. We talked about where we will go next time i get down to his place and what we will do when we are there. He is pushing himself and me to try some new things and i am as he says a willing pupil.

i finished my latest book, the second in the Masters at Arms series. i think i will write a review of both the books read so far tomorrow morning.

So despite being alone in a hotel room i am a happy bunny and am feeling pretty fulfilled and loved. That can’t be a bad end to a week can it?

The morning after

The day before (Just realised i am very unadventurous about my titles). It is not often i  wake up and wish it were yesterday, but at 5.30 this morning i woke briefly and wished just that. Now too, in the quite cool and cloudy light of day i would love to be on the M25 (as i was at this time yesterday) on the the way to see Master.

Our day together yesterday was pretty wonderful, it was also a long day – i was with him from around 9.30am till just before 7pm and boy did we pack the day with good things. Do i ache as a concequence today? Yes! Does that kind of day make me yearn for more? Yes!.

After days and days where it has seemingly rained each and every day, at last yesterday morning was one of bright sunshine and blue skies. It was cool as i drove down to the coast, but the lovely day put a spring in my step (if you can say that when driving a car). Master had the coffee waiting and we went outside in his little back yard, a sun trap if ever there was one, to enjoy it. No sooner had i got myself comfortable though that master had my legs spread, revealing my newly shaved, pantyless pussy. From that first wonderful orgasm in the garden the day was full and full on.

It was also a day of firsts – the first time i have had sex involving penetration in the great british countryside, the first time i have been made to wear a collar, the first time i have been completely tied to a bed. When i think back, no wonder i ache.

We also spent time chatting. We discussed all kinds of topics and once again were able to be open and honest on a range of things. The honesty in this kind of relationship is one of the most refreshing things. We took a lovely walk along the seafront later in the afternoon and since the little museum there was open we went inside and spent half an hour looking at all of the local history contained within. I am really pleased that we share an interest in history as well as in so many other things.

The only downside for me was that there was definitely something wrong with my bowels and i was unable to enjoy anal sex with master in the way i had last time. It was also much harder, because of this to completely relax at other times for fear that something was about to happen there. Master was great about things though and by the end of the day i really did let  myself go and have a fantastic series of orgasms.

It is going to take me a few days to analyse the day, but once i do i will have more to say here. What i can say though is that while joolz aches this morning, she sure is pretty happy with the world!

The morning after the day before

Yesterdays events almost feel like a dream. Except that i am feeling a little weary (could be put down to the long period of time spent driving as much as the activities in Master’s house), but i do feel very satisfied.

The maids outfit was great. i really did enjoy wearing it and as someone who is quite tall , and who doesn’t usually wear heels except for a night out, i loved walking around all day in them. i could get used to them too! i also reveled in the fact i wore no knickers all day. i loved the fact that Sir could touch me anytime he wanted and touch me he did, lots and lots. What was quite amusing was that i was dressed as a maid, but it was Sir who made me breakfast and lunch, coffee and tea. Sir was adamant that he wanted to do these things for me; he knows that at home i do it all and he wanted me to sit showing myself to him while he got things ready rather than me waiting on him. i loved sitting with my legs open for him while he got on with these domestic tasks.

But it wasn’t all about sex. It was about us getting to know each other. It was about talking about our lives, our children, our families, ourselves and what makes us tick. Sir can certainly spin a tale and he has been to some amazing places, done lots of jobs and i am really interested in hearing all about these things.

One thing that is clear to me is how relaxed i feel in Sir’s company. i have rarely been able to let myself go quite as easily, to forget real life and to focus on another. Perhaps this is the submission and the way in which i am learning to embrace it. i am also loving Sir’s cock in a way that i haven’t been able to appreciate a cock ever before. Maybe this is why i am so happy to have this cock in my mouth when i have usually been less keen. This is another skill i am learning and think i could probably become quite good at, and gladly so.

So this weekend joolz will be going round with something of a smile on her face as she does her usual chores. Good memories are a wonderful thing and can stay with you for ever, i sure hope they will!