Masturbation – kink of the week

May is Masturbation month and not surprisingly Molly has chosen this as the topic for Kink of the Week. For me, masturbation like a number of the more sexual aspects of my life is something that has changed over the past few years.

I spent many years masturbating in private, and doing it frequently. A few minutes at home alone after getting in from work, the time between hubby leaving for work and my son beginning to stir in the room next door. I used fingers and I used various vibrating toys. I poured over the clitical.com website for new techniques and had some fun. I learned how to find my own g-spot, and experimented with ice, to name two new things I found out there. But to be frank I found it frustrating. It was pleasurable, but that pleasure only lasted for a few seconds after the climax came. I sensed that I needed a more fulfilling sex life and that masturbation wasn’t meant to be something that happened instead. This relationship has taught me that my hunch was correct.

During my marriage I hated the idea of my husband masturbating while he was beside me, but knew that he did so, usually after I fell asleep but not always. I hated the idea of him knowing that I masturbated too. Looking back there were some fundamental problems with our willingness to be open sexually with each other. I assumed that this was normal behaviour but now know differently.

Master owns my orgasms. It was one of the first things of mine that he took control and ownership of (intact, perhaps it was the first). This means I must thank him when I cum, and I must tell him it is his. That doesn’t mean he must be present when it happens, therefore I am allowed to masturbate. However, these days, the need to do so is much reduced. There is no need for me to sneak around before anyone comes home or goes out. I can happily lie on my bed naked and use my fingers or a vibe. But I tend not to (though it can help if I am unable to sleep at night). Instead I prefer to masturbate in his presence. Or for him to do so to me.

Mutual Masturbation has become part of my life in a way that I never expected, as has watching while he masturbates himself perhaps looking at some porn. I find this arousing rather than disturbing as I might have done previously. I am happy for him to look at and explore my body, and am relaxed with him watching me wank. Indeed sometimes he demands it of me.

The orgasms achieved through masturbation are for me different, depending on the method and who is making them happen. If wanking myself, then I prefer using a clitoral vibrator and I like the rapid and intense build up it gives. If Master is bringing me to orgasm, then I love the feel of his fingers and the slower, less intensive build up. The worst thing though is when he begins his count down and then stops touching me. It isn’t that it stops the orgasm coming but more that I hate the loss of direct stimulation from his gentle touch.

Masturbation for me is something very different from how it used to be. Different in a good and fulfilling way.

V is for……

Valuing what you have, but sometimes being prepared to take a risk.

What kinky words begin with V? I thought of vagina and vulva, but they just don’t feel like kinky words to me, rather they are parts of the female anatomy. Then of course there is vibrator, which is a kinky word. Or is it?

For me, a vibrator is and should be part of mainstream life, it is great for those alone times, but also for a couple who wants to add something to their sex lives. Of course there are some pretty kinky things that can be done with the right vibrating gadget in the right situation.

I think for the letter V though, leaving the world of kink behind might be the way to go. Instead, I would like to concentrate on something else; Valuing what you have.

I am a great believer in being careful about what you wish for. Perhaps that is why I stayed with my hubby for so long. Why I was so frightened to make a change.

In 2012 I took the decision to stop wondering about what might be out there for me. I had spent too long telling myself that my life was less fulfilling than it should be, I realised that I needed to discover what else was available. OK so, this also involved a lot of research about sex, BDSM and submission. I began to explore some unacknowledged and unsaid thoughts and ideas about myself, which may have led no where. In the event they led me outside of my marriage, but while it hasn’t all been plain sailing, I can honestly say I have no regrets.

There is still somewhere to go in freeing myself from my former life, but the difference in me, and what I consider right for me now is a world away from the place I found myself back then. A more or less sexless marriage, the realisation that I was not frigid (as he claimed), to what I have now. A life with a man who Master maintains is a submissive and me, a person who seemed controlling but who craved domination.

Master has asked many times if I regret that I only found personal and sexual fulfilment in my 50’s. How can I regret anything when I can see that I have achieved something that for most of my life felt out of my reach?

There were many times during my marriage when I wondered if I should have left my husband. After his long period of infidelity perhaps?

Although the time that followed when he became nasty and vindictive, blaming me. felt worse, I know that I took a conscious decision to stay, but on my own terms, which subconsciously meant that I was turned off form sex with him. I knew that there were positives about remaining in the situation, I also recognised that I would know when (not if) the end had come. And so it proved.

I value the times that I have had with hubby. I value the fact that I decided when I needed to end it. I value that my son grew up in the household he did, loved by both parents and for the most part not knowing the struggles that we had gone though.

But most of all I value the fact I have managed to break free, and to find a new partner. I also value the fact that both of us are enjoying a life that we didn’t imagine we would have.

It is important to value your life. Especially if it is the life that is right and that you never expected to enjoy,

 

My favourite toy – 30 Days of Kink / Masturbation Monday

Since this post is being published on a Monday, it is both for 30 days of kink and Masturbation Monday.

I have thought about this, more than a small part of me would love to say that is it is the violet wand and I know that is what Master would love to hear. It is true to say that my Master, also previously known as gadget man, loves His violet wand attachments. I personally enjoy the comb attachment, which He strokes through my hair. Plus there are those that He strokes across my body, resting briefly (or not so) over my piercings. Then there are the electric light bulbs that cause both pain and static and which we are both glad He learned about that Easter day, last year, at BBB.

Ok, so it would be true that those experiences are amazing. But none of them have quite the effect of the Hitachi magic (magic rather than violet) wand. There is nothing, in my opinion quite like direct vibration of the clitoris. When that stimulus is applied through a magic wand the feelings are just beyond amazing. Then if the person to whom the vibrations are applied has no control over the toy, indeed perhaps she is restrained, blindfolded, maybe even gagged, then the stimulus becomes that person’s whole world.

Given the choice of a way to be played with, to be masturbated to be made to orgasm over and over again, the magic wand would be the toy of choice. The situation would be as described above and would be accompanied by the touch of Master’s hands on his slave’s body as it writhed with uncontrolled pleasure. This kind of thing doesn’t happen often, but then perhaps that is a good thing, since it would cease to be quite so special.

 

Clip from Tumblr

 

 

It works both ways

It plays a big part in TTWD, but it is a mutual thing.
We are people in our 50’s and our lives are full and busy. We don’t live together but we spend weekends and where possible other times together. We enjoy that time, but for reasons of time, energy and of course giving time to the things we enjoy. our sex life isn’t always just about penetration. Mutual masturbation is an important part of what we do.
Let me say here that I am allowed to masturbate myself when we are not together, but I do need to seek permission for an orgasm, either before or to inform it has happened. When I orgasm, I must tell Master (even if He is not present), that it belongs to Him and I must thank Him. However, I don’t generally masturbate nor cum without Him present and prefer that it is His hand on my clit or nipples.
But I digress, since it is the fact that we masturbate in front of each other and that we masturbate each other that I want to talk about.
We both love to stroke the other, that feeling of a finger brushing over a nipple, a clit or indeed cock is very erotic. Master loves me to hold His balls while He masturbates and I love to hold His cock and to stroke Him, to rub that wonderful manhood.
The most sensual part though belongs to our mouths. When I run my tongue over the tip of Master’s cock, when I close my mouth over His manhood and gently suck. When I push down and feel Him at the back of my throat, or He starts to fuck my mouth. They are the most amazing feelings.
For me the sensation of His tongue rubbing against my clitoris, teasing the piercing. Sucking me, bringing me close to that wonderful orgasmic feeling is something I just love so much.
Enjoying your partner’s body is something to enjoy and to savour. Mutual masturbation allows both of us that opportunity and gives us an intimacy that I just love.

Masturbation month

Just when this girl gets to engage in lots of solo sex activities she finds that May is actually masturbation month. Sadly this girl missed out on international masturbation day which was 7th May, but she has been catching up a little since. As mentioned yesterday, this girl’s Master is quite keen she  makes herself cum as and when she needs to. What is more, this girl’s levels of horniness are at record levels, partly because she hasn’t seen her Master for over 2 weeks and also because of the clitoral hood piercing.

That piercing has healed pretty well and soon this girl will be ready for a new piece of jewellery – she has been looking around on the interweb for something suitable and has a purchase on her to do list today. This girl finds that while she is not aware of the bar that is inserted in her hood, she is very aware of what it does to her. Even when she is not moving, it seems her clitoris is a little stimulated. When she moves though, then it becomes quite stimulated. If she plays with it with her finger, well it is wonderful. This girl is now wet the whole time. This girl has touched herself since she had this piercing much more than she ever used to, in part because she needs to make sure the piercing is clean and healthy looking but also because she loves to feel it. To feel the metal and the secretions it causes this girl to create. She also touches it because she knows Master finds it arousing to know that his girl does such slutty things.

Writing this now, on a Sunday morning in May, this girl is feeling pretty horny and now must get on with masturbating before she gets up and on with her day.

This girl hopes that those reading here have been allowed to cum a little more this month than usual and that some of that has been in celebration of national masturbation month.

Creating a buzz

In my opinion the female orgasm is a wonderful thing, but then i would say that wouldn’t i? It would be true to say that i was a latecomer to understanding exactly what this meant to a woman. I was actually married, before i even understood the notion of the orgasm and in my 30s before i owned a vibrator. Of course once i discovered it, i found it was something that i couldn’t manage without. How wonderful is that rampant rabbit?

Before i met Sir, i had spent at least 10 years needing almost daily use of some kind of devise that would  to give me the kind of relief i could only dream of in the marital bedroom. This is no longer the case, He doesn’t restrict my orgasms but since i started to get plenty of them i have rarely needed the rabbit. But who knows whether the need will ever return?

My first Ann Summers party was during the Tupperware years (people of my age will know all about this), but even so i was unaware of the history of the vibrator.

While browsing my favorite online news website yesterday, i came across this:

In 19th-century Britain, women suffering from chronic anxiety prescribed pelvic finger massage. Doctors found this tedious and time-consuming, so they invented something to do the job for them

Apparently the vibrator was invented by doctors who treated ‘hysteria’ (chronic anxiety, irritability and abdominal heaviness) in women by msturbating them to orgasm. This took place in the doctor’s consulting room,with the doctor providing pelvic massaging so that this could be relieved. Apparently the doctors found this a tedious and tiring pass time, and so invented a labour saving device. Early versions were powered by a generator the size of a fridge, but within a few years they were much smaller and so could move out of the doctors office into the home.

Apparently it was believed that if the ‘massager’ as it was known did not penetrate then the result could not be sexual, therefore the word orgasm wasn’t used to describe the resulting effect.

A new film Hysteria, which depicts a story based on the history of the invention of the vibrator is due to be released in cinemas soon.This sounds like the type of film i should be watching with Sir given our joint love of both history and orgasm. Or am i just dreaming?

Photo – Steam powered vibrator