His kinks and our plans

There are many ways in which we are on the same wavelength when it comes to kink. Being his owned slave is probably the main one. While I am naturally bratty and rebellious, I love the way that he takes control and keeps me within defined boundaries. I am at my happiest when the boundaries of our relationship are clearest to us both.

Pain as a way of him exerting control is important, but it is not the main thing. Control of our sex life, and the power it gives him is. He loves to catch me unawares and to suddenly tell me what to do – get on my knees, suck his cock, bend over, strip off. Whatever. He loves the gadgets of kink, the violet wand, the bindings and blindfolds. They have an amazing effect on me. I love the way in which he surprises me with new ideas, new toys. I love the control he has over me.

He loves tattoos and piercings.  He loves women to wear slutty clothes and to expose themselves in public. I have the piercings – nipples and clitoral hood. On occasion I wear something a bit slutty and am prepared to show myself to him in a public place.

Sometime over the past three years or so though we have settled into a comfortable place. We talk about more piercings, about tattoos. But they haven’t happened. In the main I don’t leave the house without underwear as I used to, and the times I expose myself in public has reduced in frequency.

Partly this is due to life – work, caring responsibilities, social life, being a middle aged couple (and any other excuse you might mention). In many ways, though it feels as though I have just become complacent and lazy. Also just a little tired as work and caring plus keeping up with our social life takes its toll.

A quick look at his Tumblr blog tells me however, that his kinky fantasies remain as they were. I have to admit they are mine too. I really do still want more piercings. I would love to walk around, knickerless with weights hanging from my labia. I would love to cut my hair as he really wants. I still want that tattoo. I want to be the slut he desires.

What I need to do is to take control of my life. Or to get into a position where he truly can take control of my life. We are still waiting for my ex to sort himself out. For he and his lady love to be ready to buy my house. We are close, but not quite there.

Meanwhile I really am planning my exit from work. Preparing myself, those around me and the work itself for that day. I have given myself a deadline of early March when I will hand in my notice. By then, my mum should be living nearer to my brother and be less of a burden to me. And I should be preparing to give myself to Master properly. If the ex isn’t ready by then, well something different will have to happen.

I want his kinks to be my kinks, but I need to make some changes here for that to happen. I have a plan, a real plan.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Styled by Master

Photo from Loveherhair

In the 3 years since she had been seeing Mark she was aware that their relationship may not have been as it seemed. At first she had felt in control, she paid him to cut and style her hair, meet her requirements. This was to incrementally shorten her hair while maintaining a ‘feminine’ style (her words). As she told him, an older woman looks and feels better that way. He agreed with her that this was the best way to achieve that end result. Unless, as he joked, you were prepared for the shears on day one.

Their meetings which took place every 6 weeks were a little more frequent than she would have preferred. But since his schedule was even more busy than hers she booked ahead and stuck to the appointments.   Master seemed happy with her progress, she knew his preference was a closely cropped, almost bald style. But she knew what He wanted from her. She wanted to please him but needed to get there in easy stages. Master in turn preferred a slave who complied at her own volition.

Mark wasn’t the kind of stylist that she would have chosen. She adored him as a person, for his outgoing nature and personality but worried about his approach. He loved to flirt with her and at the same time to offer fantastic celebrity gossip. But all of the time he pushed her towards a shorter hair cut. It was almost as if Master was giving him instructions.

At the same time this seemed unlikely, what top end stylist would push for an ever shorter cut so that eventually his skills would become redundant?

For each appointment she negotiated an outcome  which took her closer to Master’s goal and each time Mark pushed her further. He would accidentally cut it shorter at the back, at the sides or on top. Then one day he took clippers to the left side of her head without discussion.

Exclaiming how wonderful it looked he asked what he should do next. Running her fingers over what remained of her hair, she had to agree it looked and felt great. She considered whether to even things out of to keep her hair long on the other side. She knew that was what many people did; short on one side while long on the other.

Symmetry was something she loved, taking a deep breath she instructed Mark to shave the right side. The hair was then short on both sides, but still held the layers she treasured on top.

Clarity of her situation suddenly surfaced, and she looked Mark in the eye, seeing his image reflected in the mirror. He cupped his hands around her head and stroked the stubble on each side of her head.

“Master asked you to do this” she stated with sudden clarity.

Observing her in the mirror, he nodded briefly.

“Then you should complete the task”  she said. His nod was much more pronounced. He picked up his scissors and began to cut. Within minutes he had removed the remaining hair to little more than stubble.

At the cash desk she paid for today’s cut and booked her next appointment for 6 weeks time. “I think next time will be a number 2, all over” she told him clearly.

“Maybe even a number 1?” he asked.

“Maybe, if that is what Master wishes” she agreed.

As she pulled her coat on and walked out into the street she stroked her head, on one hand missing the hair that had gone, but also loving the feel of the stubble. They both knew that the next visit in 6 weeks time would be the start of a new chapter. One of maintenance but also one where both could fulfil their Master’s requirements.

In this element of their slavery at least.

The shorter the better

So Kink of the Week for 1-15 September is Hair. Having covered pubic hair already, the focus this time is the hair on your head.

Master has a particular fetish for very short hair. In his ideal world his slave would have her head shaved. For him, there is something very erotic about a woman whose head is shaved. I haven’t asked him, but suspect he prefers that the hair has visibly been cropped closely and that you can run your hands over it and feel the stubble rather than a head that is truly bald. His tumblr feed is full of photos of women that emulate his ideal (he has other kinks that he displays too unsurprisingly).
Master is not one to push a slave to comply with his wishes, at least not overtly. He would prefer that she does so to please him and because she wants it too. So the move towards short hair has been a gradual process.
When we met my hair was shoulder length. It had taken me a while to grow my hair to a length that I liked and I felt pretty happy with the style. As far as I was concerned I dressed and had my hair cut in a way that I wanted, to please myself, no one else. When we met, his then slave told me of his preference for shorter hair. She told me that when she arrived to live with him, he would force her to have her head shaved. This was something she said she would struggle with. While I believe he may have said such a thing to her, I don’t actually believe he would do anything like that without the other person (even his slave) fully agreeing and wanting that to be the case. Certainly he hasn’t pressured me to cut my hair. But the things she told me stick in my mind and maybe stop me from going the whole hog.
I have though, over the past 2 1/2 years gradually cut my hair shorter.
I have discovered that a woman of my age looks better with shorter hair. That I like the way I look with short hair. It looks better when cut around my ears than trying the half way thing. I have discovered that for a woman going through the menopause short hair really helps you cool down. I think it helps me and others see the bone structure of my face.
What is more, I have been complimented on my hair in a way that I don’t think I have been for many years by family, friends, colleagues and by almost complete strangers.
I don’t have my head shaved and am not sure I ever will. Maybe I might get the area around my ears shaved as I think it looks cool and pretty sexy. I know what Master likes, but don’t think he will push me to do something I don’t want.
But sometimes you need another persons view, another’s ideal to help push those boundaries. without Master I may never have cut my hair to the length it is now and may never have known just how good it would look.
Short is good. For him, the shorter the better and maybe I am edging closer to his ideal.

H is for……

Harness and Hair.

I have to admit that thinking of words beginning with H which I wanted to write about was a challenge. I knew I wanted to talk about hair (more of that further down), but wasn’t sure about the other word. Then when I was reading Marie Rebelle’s blog, I saw that she had included harness, and I knew I wanted to do so too.
Master loves to see me in a harness and I love the feel of it. The way it frames my tits and makes me feel like a sexual being. Clothed but unclothed. Master bought me a clear plastic harness for my birthday the first year we were together. I remember wearing it under my clothes when I visited my parents soon after. I also have a leather one which feels even better; not surprisingly the plastic one can make you sweat a little, especially if you are like me, menopausal. Last night we were talking about some of the things I could do to be reminded more of my place as His slave and to be able to serve Him better. One of the things we discussed was that I might be naked or wearing a harness more when we are home alone and are not planning to go out. So seeing H for harness was timely, as is writing about it. Access to the body He owns is an important feature of our relationship, for us both and wearing the harness does just that. In this photo I am wearing a spanking skirt too and this is the very outfit (if you could call it that), which I would like to wear when we go to a play party, hopefully soon.
This photo was taken a while ago, I know because in it my hair is quite long. Since last autumn time, I have taken the plunge and had my hair cut short. Master prefers short hair on His slave, indeed if she came home with it shaved he would be over joyed.
But while I find photos of women with shaved heads quite attractive, I am not sure that really is for me. what we are discussing though is a style where I have the area around my ears shaved, or certainly very short and the rest a little longer. Perhaps a little like this lady who I photographed last year during Samana Santa in Spain (hence the costumes of the people around her).
My only concern is that most of the women I see with these kinds of hairstyles are much younger than me. However, this is one area that I would like to get closer to what Master wants from me. I love to please Him and while He isn’t insisting that I get my hair cut shorter, I know that He would love it if I did. I have a hair appointment booked for a couple of weeks time and plan to discuss the options with my stylist then. Time to take the plunge I think.

Hair

Before I started on this journey to submission, I had never modified my body or hair to please another person. Indeed, I was actually quite resistant to requests from hubby to do so. At times, I did shave my pussy for his pleasure, but those times were rare. As for the hair on my head, well I chose the style and he either liked it or didn’t.

Things are different now. It isn’t just that i have agreed to be slave to Master that makes me want to make the changes he desires (well I don’t think it is), rather it is also because I love him and because I trust his judgement on these things.

There are two areas of hair that he is particularly interested in – the hair on my head and that which now covers my genital areas. He prefers the hair on my head cut short, something that I have now complied with, though it has been a gradual process from mid length to short. Last time I asked my hair stylist to cut around my ears and I am very pleased with the result. Many people, including Master have commented and say it really suits me. Now though he would like that area above my ears shaved so that it is just that bit shorter, but I am nervous about it. Partly that is about me needing to ask the stylist to cut it in that way, but also because I wonder if the reaction of others (with the exception of Master) will be less positive. He feels that it will show my kinkiness to others, though of course that might only apply to those who know such a thing. I have worn a collar 24 hours a day since July and very few people have commented on that, or indeed seem to know what it is. The same hair stylist has told me that she loves my necklace, but I think it is just that she likes jewellery of that type.

Conversely having been completely bare in the pussy area for S, Master instructed that I should grow my hair early on in our relationship. The hair in that area is slow growing, but now it is fully regrown. Unlike the hair on my head, it is still brown and what is more it is very soft and smooth. Softer and smoother than Master has felt on anyone else (so he told me last night). I have got used to it being there again and am happy to have it grown in that way. However I have now requested permission to shape it a little (I am quite hairy and it seems to want to grow in my groins and upper legs) and that has been granted.

From reading other blogs and also speaking to other slaves and submissives it is clear that Dominant men are not all the same in the way in which they prefer the hair on their submissive to be. Many men seem to like long hair on the head, but a shaved pussy. Mine is just the opposite, which in a way is reflected in him as a person. No one could ever accuse him of conforming to anyone else’s ideas of a social norm. He is his own person and I am pleased to be part of that. It doesn’t mean however that making those, apparently small, changes are always easy. In the end though I generally do as I am told. That of course is the slave in me.

slave thoughts

It has been more than a week since this girl last wrote on her blog. It is funny how the urge to write comes in fits and starts; it kind of ebbs and flows. Or more likely stops and starts.

To be honest, there is an element of writers block going on here right now, so this slave is going to try to just go with the flow and to see what emerges.
The feel of the collar is ever present around this slave’s neck. Not just the feeling of the cool titanium, of the heaviness of it as she wakes in the morning, or sits at her desk in the day, but also the reality when she catches sight of herself in the mirror. The commitment though is more than a piece of jewellery (or two, since there is also the cuff). It is also about agreeing to be the slave that He expects, wants and needs. What is more, it is an admission on this slaves side that she is the person He needs. She really has given Him control of herself – her body, her mind, her limits. All of this takes time to come to terms with, it takes time to adjust to how she needs to be.
Slavehood is definitely something that has been a gradual process and it still evolves. This girl speaks to Him of her need to feel His control, just as she knows He needs to be in control. But at the same time, she realises she must comply with the agreements that were made a year ago, before more rules are set in place. In the main, these are foremost in her mind as she goes through each day, but of course, this slave is a human being and so forgets her place and role at times. That is where the metal helps – the collar, the cuff and also the plug. Last weekend Master and slave agreed that a next step would be some daytime plug wear perhaps on the journey to or from work. This girl is ready for that.
Next will be Master’s preferences over this girl’s hair style. He prefers His slave to have her head shaved, but this slave is not ready yet for that step. Master is not pushing hard, but gently towards His goal. Last time she had her hair short, with the sides up to the ears and next time will be the next stage. This girl is not sure what she fears about going to where Master wants her to be. However she does know that eventually she will comply, she will embrace His wishes without Him forcing the issue.
This slave has no idea why she needs to be the slave she is for her Master, or why she needs to move further towards the girl she knows He wants her to be. She just knows that she does.

Recap on the last week

After a run of several days of blog posts it would be true to say that life took over and this girl ran out of ideas. Ideas and energy to be honest.

This girl’s last post was about Fetlife, and that post has had an interesting effect. It has led to her becoming friends on Fetlife with a number of fellow bloggers. That is definitely a good thing.

This girl still feels nervous there since it is a place that Master’s former slave can still find her, though, it must be said that that person de-friended her there (apparently this girl caused some kind of upset, which is hard to believe but is probably a good thing and is probably irrelevant).

Meanwhile Master and girl have been out and about. On Thursday we went to a newish munch which hasn’t found the right venue nor the kind of members we might want to engage with (does that sound terrible?). There weren’t many people and those that were there seemed to know each other. What’s more they stuck together and sat in little groups. We knew 3 or 4 people including the hosts and didn’t stay too long. So far our Munch journey has been a little difficult (us or them I am not sure) and is probably worthy of its own post.

Then over the weekend proper we have been busy seeing some silent films, a documentary about DW Griffith and an amazing classical concert.

It is amazing how Master is widening this girl’s  perspective on so many things, not all of them involving kink. Plus she is pleased to say that she has no complaints whatsoever.

By the way, the haircut went well. Many people have complemented this girl on her hair today at work. It is short and apparently people think it suits this girl. There is scope for something shorter yet!

It is highly likely that a photo will appear on fettle before it ever does here.

Hair

Master would love His slave to shave all of her hair off. This, is one of His kinks and He feels that it would help this girl to embrace her slave side much more and what is more it turns Him on. Having said that, He is not insisting on this girl complying with this. First of all it would be a massive step, second it would cause some major comment if consternation amongst family, friends and work colleagues. It would also be damn cold in winter (though of course you can buy hats and scarves).

This is the kind of thing Master is thinking of. She is a beautiful, slim, young lady who really suits such a cut.
But would this girl? She is a woman of 50+ who could do with losing a pound or 30.  But this girl has to admit that she is tempted to try to edge a little more towards that place.
While on holiday, this girl took a photo of this lady
Maybe the shaved around the sides and longer on top look would be the thing. That an shorter at the back.
This girl is thinking seriously of such a thing (for the current style see photos below).Views please!