His kinks and our plans

There are many ways in which we are on the same wavelength when it comes to kink. Being his owned slave is probably the main one. While I am naturally bratty and rebellious, I love the way that he takes control and keeps me within defined boundaries. I am at my happiest when the boundaries of our relationship are clearest to us both.

Pain as a way of him exerting control is important, but it is not the main thing. Control of our sex life, and the power it gives him is. He loves to catch me unawares and to suddenly tell me what to do – get on my knees, suck his cock, bend over, strip off. Whatever. He loves the gadgets of kink, the violet wand, the bindings and blindfolds. They have an amazing effect on me. I love the way in which he surprises me with new ideas, new toys. I love the control he has over me.

He loves tattoos and piercings.  He loves women to wear slutty clothes and to expose themselves in public. I have the piercings – nipples and clitoral hood. On occasion I wear something a bit slutty and am prepared to show myself to him in a public place.

Sometime over the past three years or so though we have settled into a comfortable place. We talk about more piercings, about tattoos. But they haven’t happened. In the main I don’t leave the house without underwear as I used to, and the times I expose myself in public has reduced in frequency.

Partly this is due to life – work, caring responsibilities, social life, being a middle aged couple (and any other excuse you might mention). In many ways, though it feels as though I have just become complacent and lazy. Also just a little tired as work and caring plus keeping up with our social life takes its toll.

A quick look at his Tumblr blog tells me however, that his kinky fantasies remain as they were. I have to admit they are mine too. I really do still want more piercings. I would love to walk around, knickerless with weights hanging from my labia. I would love to cut my hair as he really wants. I still want that tattoo. I want to be the slut he desires.

What I need to do is to take control of my life. Or to get into a position where he truly can take control of my life. We are still waiting for my ex to sort himself out. For he and his lady love to be ready to buy my house. We are close, but not quite there.

Meanwhile I really am planning my exit from work. Preparing myself, those around me and the work itself for that day. I have given myself a deadline of early March when I will hand in my notice. By then, my mum should be living nearer to my brother and be less of a burden to me. And I should be preparing to give myself to Master properly. If the ex isn’t ready by then, well something different will have to happen.

I want his kinks to be my kinks, but I need to make some changes here for that to happen. I have a plan, a real plan.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Blogging A-Z Challenge: C

C is for Control

The level of control Master has over me is most visible during sex or play. Of course, these are the times when no one else is likely to witness our dynamic. For him, the greatest power is found and exerted in the bed or playroom. There he is the true Master, he has my undivided attention and I find myself compelled to follow his lead. My submission doesn’t disappear during the working week when we are not together, but it is certainly hidden from view. Submission is an undercurrent to my life, is makes me think about what I do and say. But in general no one is ever likely to notice.

Out together our M/s dynamic is only likely to be noticed by those who know what to look for. Subtle signs of my submission exist in the way I check his preferences. He often chooses and orders food, he always picks the wine. He phrases his questions in such a way that for me they are statements I am compelled to follow. But I doubt others notice.

Control during sex for us is at another level. He is always in charge, even if I take the initiative, or am on top. This is the time and place when I am stripped to my very core, whether naked or clothed. He is my Master, my Lord. I am his slut, slave, bitch. Something comes over us during foreplay and sex that I can’t quite put my finger on. It is as if my anxieties slip away, I lose the need to be someone I am not and can just focus on him. To be the real me, his slave.

Orgasm Control

From the very beginning of our relationship he took control of my ability to choose when, where and how I experienced an orgasm. He has never prohibited me from having orgasms when I am along, but I do have to thank him. Even when he is absent. This is a rule that I have never broken.

When we are together I am not allowed to cum until he tells me I can. Last weekend it became apparent that even during immense amounts of stimulation I am able to control my orgasms until he allows me to cum. For Master’s birthday we went to stay in a house that has been converted into a dungeon. I have always wanted to try mechanical sex machines, and last Friday I got the chance. Vibrating, whirling and moving dildos provided an amazing amount of stimulation to my body. But it wasn’t until afterwards that  he remarked that I didn’t orgasm until he granted permission.

This has me thinking about control in a different way. He does control me, but surely I must have developed control over my own body so that he can control it?

Or is it just conditioning?

Needy

It has been 8 days since she felt His hands on her body and 9 since He permitted an orgasm. It will be another 6 days until she will see Him again and can feel His hands on her and hear Him tell her that she is His.


She walks slowly up stairs and finds the plug. Of the two available she choses the larger.

She removes her jeans and panties, and bends over and presses it against her anus. There is resistance, it has been a while since this larger piece of metal has been inside her.

She realises that she is trying to push it in upside down, she swivels and, with a push it slips into place.

She remembers that His desire for her to wear this plug is with good reason.

She lies down on the bed and observes herself in the mirror. Slimmer than before, but certainly not where she would like to be. She photographs the evidence, the bush that He likes so much.

She opens her legs and turns on the vibe. Tonight there is no need for internal penetration, what she needs is to feel the pulsating instrument on her clit, vibrating from her piercing, it will find its own way inside. She applies direct pressure and spends some time just enjoying the pleasure.

She knows that any orgasms do not belong to her, but she also knows that Master won’t deny this pleasure. She knows what she needs to do and to say.

Gradually the tell tale signs build within her. She arches her back, and moves towards the pleasure that awaits. She knows she much be patient, and that her time will come. Well, not her time but His. The vibrations hit her body and reverberate around her neediness, she waits patiently and then just as she knows that the orgasm is imminent she speaks aloud.

This is yours Master.

Out loud she tells Him “thank you Master” and she knows that while He is not with her, He knows that his needy girl has been satisfied. For now.

 

Controlled

His control over this girl is often subtle rather than overt. This girl reads the blogs and fetlife posts of other submissives and slaves and can see that often their lives involve more in the way of overt discipline and rules. The power and control Master exerts over this girl feels a little different.

Make no mistake though, He really does have total control. What is more, looking back this girl can see that just how much she has changed since she came into Master’s control. She can see how she has become the calmer person He wanted her to be, that she is no longer someone who seeks control in any part of her life in the way that she did. Work becomes a new experience when you are committed while you are there but generally you leave the office and have no desire to worry about things till the next day. Letting go to perceived responsibilities around family can be more difficult, but generally this girl can say that she is better at that part of her life these days.

This girl has however been wondering about some of the decisions she makes away from her relationship with Master and whether she is still a little too inclined to make decisions without discussion. Also whether she should be asking for permission to make some of those decisions. It is easier to know what is right and wrong when we are together, generally there are no decisions to be made then. But where Master is not involved, then what? No doubt, when Master reads this, we will have that conversation.

When we are together though, there is no doubt. He totally gets off on the power He has over this girl. But His style is pretty low key. This girl does as she knows He wants mostly without being told. Expressing her own opinion is often described as brattiness, which of course it is. Mostly though the brattiness is not serious, since there is an understanding of what the rules of engagement are. He starts conversations with words like “do you want to”, but of course they are not intended to be a question, they are a statement. The fact that this girl understands this and feels no need to challenge any part of it is an important difference from what went before.

Sometimes though instructions do not come as a question. This morning He told this girl to put in her butt plug before we had sex. Made it clear that she was to face the mirrored wardrobes when she was on top. Told her how her submission gives Him the power and control He needs.

Next week this girl if off to France with her mum who needs to have some time away from home as we approach the first anniversary of dad’s death. Time without the overt control that Master gives when we are together and a time when His control from afar will  be needed. But control all the same and this girl will know it is there.

 

slave thoughts

It has been more than a week since this girl last wrote on her blog. It is funny how the urge to write comes in fits and starts; it kind of ebbs and flows. Or more likely stops and starts.

To be honest, there is an element of writers block going on here right now, so this slave is going to try to just go with the flow and to see what emerges.
The feel of the collar is ever present around this slave’s neck. Not just the feeling of the cool titanium, of the heaviness of it as she wakes in the morning, or sits at her desk in the day, but also the reality when she catches sight of herself in the mirror. The commitment though is more than a piece of jewellery (or two, since there is also the cuff). It is also about agreeing to be the slave that He expects, wants and needs. What is more, it is an admission on this slaves side that she is the person He needs. She really has given Him control of herself – her body, her mind, her limits. All of this takes time to come to terms with, it takes time to adjust to how she needs to be.
Slavehood is definitely something that has been a gradual process and it still evolves. This girl speaks to Him of her need to feel His control, just as she knows He needs to be in control. But at the same time, she realises she must comply with the agreements that were made a year ago, before more rules are set in place. In the main, these are foremost in her mind as she goes through each day, but of course, this slave is a human being and so forgets her place and role at times. That is where the metal helps – the collar, the cuff and also the plug. Last weekend Master and slave agreed that a next step would be some daytime plug wear perhaps on the journey to or from work. This girl is ready for that.
Next will be Master’s preferences over this girl’s hair style. He prefers His slave to have her head shaved, but this slave is not ready yet for that step. Master is not pushing hard, but gently towards His goal. Last time she had her hair short, with the sides up to the ears and next time will be the next stage. This girl is not sure what she fears about going to where Master wants her to be. However she does know that eventually she will comply, she will embrace His wishes without Him forcing the issue.
This slave has no idea why she needs to be the slave she is for her Master, or why she needs to move further towards the girl she knows He wants her to be. She just knows that she does.

This slave has been collared

Late last night this girl knelt, knees wide, hands upwards, naked before her Master while He placed a collar around her neck and tightened the screw. Then He drew on her breasts and tummy.

This symbol, which Master created from the letters MPB is going to form this girl’s tattoo; He thinks that this would be a good position for it. The little bruise is a result of the way in which Master used his slave after she had been collared.

 

This mark is on girl’s tummy (a little faded as it was post shower) and use her He did. Last night as a play thing – she lay naked, and open for Him to feel, kiss and bring to orgasm after orgasm, while He sat clothed. Then this morning she was thoroughly fucked by Him.
Now this girl has been collared, the contract and rules we have will be re-visited. This girl has been lax in sticking to some of the prescribed rules and Master hasn’t really punished her for those lapses. It seems very likely that this will change. This morning, this girl is one very very happy slave.

Letting go

There isn’t so much going on around here right now. By here, I mean the blog rather than real life, thats a place where things are pretty busy. Who knew I would go from someone who rarely went anywhere or did anything (except go to work or see family) to someone who was rarely found chilling out on her own couch. Having said that, I am here tonight and I have to say I am enjoying the novelty.

In her most recent post Jz talks about the fact that she and BG don’t ever have vanilla sex, and that their D/s dynamic is always present in their lives. I can identify with that and probably it is what appeals to me most about the relationship I have with Master.
We are not living any kind of 24 hour lifestyle. I am not sitting at His feet, nor am I waiting for permission to do what I need to. But actually I am His slave all of the time. I am mindful of who and what I am and I am there when He decides He needs me and my body. Having said that He makes His body available to me too and loves it when I take the initiative to say suck His cock as happened yesterday morning. He loves to use my mouth to get Him ready to reclaim another of His holes. He loves that sucking Him makes me so wet, as it did then. He loves to push Himself inside me and to reclaim his property, something He feels important when like us you don’t see each other for several days during the week.
Yesterday morning though it was after that as at His request (I say that since there is no need for insistence) I mounted Him and impaled myself on His very hard cock. This is, I think the favourite position for us both. Him because it gives Him access to every part of me. Me because the sensations can be amazing.
And so it was that at some point during proceedings I became the kind of incoherent wreck of a slave that I turn into when He ties me up and flogs me. Master knows that as the orgasms come thick and fast I lose all sense of reality and control of myself, something He really loves.
On the surface sex such as we had yesterday could seem vanilla. Only though if you turned the sound down on the scene and failed to look in the eyes of the people involved. His Dominance and her submission are ever present. And for that submissive, being able to let go like that is something she really values in this relationship. That and the feeling of His Dominance which pervades through all that they do together.

Centred

Since getting back from holiday, life has been busy and stressful. Most of this stress has come from one particular place, or should I say person. I have never enjoyed the kind of relationship with my mum that either of us might have wanted. She always says it is because we are too similar, I sincerely hope that is not true since she is currently behaving very badly.

I know that the set back of the fractured hip was a big blow to her and has dented her confidence along with her hard fought for mobility. But it would be so nice if she could be at least pleasant about it. Instead myself and my brothers are being made to feel less than useful, despite spending so much of our time off from work running around doing things for her. Things came to a head at the beginning of this week when the cleaner gave her the sack. No, she didn’t sack the cleaner, it happened the other way round. By text, to me. Apparently she is rude, inconsiderate and two faced. These accusations are pretty much true,  but I never thought that she was like that with someone who comes in for an hour or two once a week. It would be true to say that the fact she is the friend of my brother’s girl friend might have contributed, but I really didn’t need this kind of stress this week.

Friday is now my regular day off and they now stretch ahead of me as a day when I will be needing to help mum. I should be keen to help of course, I want to be and to a certain extent I am. But at the same time, I dread it. The harsh words, the way she is only interested in herself, and the way everything I and everyone else does is just not good enough. This week was no exception, and culminated in a number of short sharp phone messages because I had bought her the kind of fish that I should know that she hates!

A few times this last week I have been a bit on the bratty side with Master. That and I have challenged things He has said and done. This is something that He doesn’t like; particularly if like me the other person is hell bent on arguing the point for far too long.

So after a great day out on Saturday – a girlie lunch, a film and dinner with Master – I ended up passing much of the journey home fuming. I was both upset and angry and still believed I was right.

In bed, He held me and told me He was sorry and that He had noticed that I have been much more stressed lately. I said sorry too and all was well, we slept.

Sunday morning arrived and as we lay in bed together there was no sign of what was to come. He suddenly jumped out of bed and told His slave to get on all fours, then He piled up some pillows for her to lie on and secured her wrists in cuffs by her ankles. A mixture of pain and pleasure then ensued. The pleasure of the hitachi and the pain of various floggers, paddles and a cane. Every time the pain seemed to be getting a little much back came the hitachi and with it an orgasm was permitted.

He instructed this girl to get on top and to ride His cock. This is a favourite position for both of us. He likes to have access to His slave’s body and to control her movements from below. Next He took her arse. Boy did He take this girl in a way He really hasn’t for a long time.

For both of us this was as much about redefining the whole Master / slave relationship as anything. It was about His power and her submission. For the first time in months this girl found herself floating into His body. She felt her mind clearing and all thoughts of anyone and anything else leave her. She was His slave and He her Master. Lastly she was allowed to finish Him off with her mouth, a perfect ending for us both.

It is so easy in any relationship for life to just take over and for couples to forget the important things.  Thankfully Master recognised the signs and now His slave is centred again and remembers just who she is, what she is and indeed her place.

Of course, none of this makes me wrong, or Him right but sometimes a slave just needs to know when to shut her mouth and I definitely need practice at that!

The joy and the kink of the missionary position

If you had asked this girl about the missionary position a few years ago, she might have rolled her eyes. Most if her sexual experience, what there had been of it, had been spent there. That isn’t to say other positions weren’t attempted, but it was the preferred position of the husband.

Not so much submissive to this girl, as a complete bore!
Who knew though, that a girl on her back, legs spread, could be the slut she is: In the missionary position? What is more, there is nothing boring about it.
He spread girl’s legs and examined the labia He owned. Then He leaned down and claimed the clit with His mouth. He nibbled and he licked. She felt His teeth, she felt Him suck. She moaned with pleasure. They both knew, however that orgasm was a while away. Moments later, He plunged His fingers into the damp, hot pussy. He worked her now as He rubbed the clit. Suddenly He spoke.
“Who do you belong to?”
“You Master”,   she replied
“Who owns this girl’s body?”
“You do Master”
“Who’s cunt are you?”
“Your cunt Master”
“Who are you”?
“this girl’. “Yes”. He said. That is your slave name.
“This cunt,” He reminded “say it’…………….      “this cunt”, she repeated.
“Come cunt”
Master counted His cunt down, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 
she came, on command. her hips arching, body writing.  She couldn’t have stopped herself even if she had wanted.
Then, He thrust Himself into Her. As she lay there on her back, legs spread, ready for Him, as He released Himself into Her.
This was missionary position sex, but not as she knew it in the past.
……………………………
Some things that are important here:
1) This girl is a cunt or any other name He chooses
2) This girl is now an owned and registered slave (more of that later).
3) This girl’s slave name is: this girl.

Cum bunny

New title for this girl over the weekend. It would be true to say that she first coined it for herself, but it stuck. If there is one thing He likes, it is to take orgasms from His girl. He loves the power He has over them, that it is He who gives permission and who has the control, after He is the owner of them. It is He who determines the type of orgasm, whether stimulation is involved and then of what. The girl is merely His toy, His plaything, His slave.

So here is the thing, how much of an orgasm is physical and how much of it is in the mind? We were discussing the different types of orgasms this girl has given her Master over the past few days. The ones which involve penetration, and so originate from the g-spot, or have direct stimulation of the clitoris are most definitely different in their feel and intensity than those brought on by say nipple stimulation. The feel of Him filling her, while her muscles contract around Him just feed into the orgasm. For Him, well He just loves the feel of girl’s muscles contracting as she cums.

But then there is the power thing. He loves to count down, starting at 10, or 5 and then tells this girl to cum. Sometimes this doesn’t work as they both might like, but usually she is suddenly gripped with the feelings of an impending orgasm, and finds her hips arching and moisture oozing from within. It is getting on for a year since He first began to experiment with girl in this way and if anything it has led to a greater intensity in the orgasms than ever before.

When we are apart it is rare for this girl to need to orgasm, occasionally He tells her He wants her to orgasm, perhaps when she is wearing her plug. But she rarely seeks permission of her own accord. Personally, this girl prefers to cum in His presence, at His hand or spoken command.

This girl knows that Master loves how multi orgasmic this girl has become – indeed she is now His cum toy; cum bunny.

……………………………………….
March Questions – We are happy to answer any questions you might have about us and our relationship, so ask away