TMI Tuesday – 19 September 2017

1. Why would you go to a therapist?
a. You need support
b. You want to take responsibility for your life’s outcomes?
c. You need guidance and to be told what to do

I am not sure that I would go to a therapist for any kind of relationship support. I tried it when my marriage was ending and I was struggling to get him to accept the inevitable. I discovered that I had everything I wanted worked out in my head. What I also discovered was that me having counselling wouldn’t make him cope any better. He was the one needing the help and that couldn’t happen unless he pitched up. Having said that, if I needed therapy for a mental health problem I would take it if I felt it would help. Can’t see it happening right now though.

2. Thinking of the main male lover in your life, what is sex for him:
a. stress relief, tension reliever
b. a way to show love
c. something exciting he likes to do

I suspect that at different times, sex can be any of the above for him. He likes to have sex with me, he says I turn him on. He finds me exciting! But there are times when sex is a great relief for stress and tension. There’s no doubt it is also a way to show love, though sex for us is usually a bit more raunchy than that.

3. Do you feel a partner is being invasive for wanting to know your plans and inner thoughts?

We have the kind of relationship where we tell each other everything. 3 years ago, I agreed to be his slave and so being open comes with the territory. Anyway I want to tell him. Keeping secrets was part of the reason my relationship with hubby failed and I don’t intend that to happen again. We are open with each other, so it’s a two way street.

4. In your opinion, what is intimate sharing?

For us it is about being willing and able to speak about our feelings for each other including deeper emotions. Also it is about being able to tell the other about your fantasies and fears too. I can’t say this is always easy, but generally we both know when the other has something they need to say to the other.

5. Would you enjoy a weekend by yourself, without the company of your partner? Where would you go? What would you do?

I don’t really want weekends to myself anymore. Weekends are when we spend time together. I guess if I had to I would and if I did, perhaps I would do something we wouldn’t do together. Maybe a spa weekend or a trip to somewhere hot where I could sun bathe. But I know that it wouldn’t be the same doing anything without him there.

Bonus: Would you buy an outfit that you love, knowing that your partner will hate it? Then would you wear it as well?

I don’t think there is any chance I would want to buy something he would hate. Since I don’t think I would like it either. I buy things I like, but tend to wonder if he would like them too.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday – Sex on the Brain

Sex on the Brain

1. Is a weird “sex face/orgasm face” a total deal-breaker?

I am of the opinion that once you get to the point of orgasm, then your face is likely to demonstrate true emotions much more than anything you say. If someone’s expression is a little weird at that point then so be it! Anyway who is paying attention to that kind of thing unless they are on film and that is something else entirely.

2. Do you enjoy having your balls played with (or playing with balls)?

I have no balls, but enjoy playing with Masters balls during sex.

3. Have you ever hooked-up with somebody based on their proximity to your smartphone location (Tinder, GRINDR, etc)?

Nope. Never used Tinder, though my son met his fiancé that way. We did meet online however. I guess the fact we met in a chatroom makes us old school!

4. You have some free-time in the workday–blow job or intercourse? (BJ can be giving or receiving).

Gosh, this has never happened. I guess giving a blog job would be easier, quicker and less likely to affect my ability to get through the rest of the day……..

5. How long after having sex with a new partner do you have to wait before falling asleep?

I think that when we first had sex we both drifted off afterwards. Mind you it was a little more than straight sex. That was 3.5 years ago so must qualify in the new bracket.

Bonus: What’s the dirtiest or sexiest text message you’ve ever received?

In the early days some of his texts to me included instructions about what to wear or do. That hasn’t happened for a while. Most texts these days are direct and functional!

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday

TMI Tuesday

Life: dating, your body and more

1. What period of your life was the happiest? Why?

I am probably happier now than I have been at any time in my life. I enjoy my job, for all it is stressful. Master is a wonderful man who knows exactly what I need, he makes me happy and I love to serve him. We are able to travel and to have lots of fun times. My son is happy in his relationship and my ex is finally moving on.

2. True or False. If you want a successful date, take charge–take the lead. Why?

I guess it depends who the date is with. I hate to be out with someone who is indecisive. This has, in the past led me to want to take control. These days though, I prefer that I don’t take charge, which is just as well!

3. True or false: Males are aggressive and assertive, and women are nurturing. Explain your answer.

False. There are aggressive women and there are nurturing men and vice versa. These traits are not related to gender but to personality, and learned behaviours.

4. Is your body keeping you from a good sex life? How so?

My body is trying to do just that. The menopause is means that there are times when I am not as wet as I used to get and I can get sore during penetrative sex. Also, as previously documented I seem to have developed a problem with pain during vaginal sex. We are working through these things though and don’t let it get in the way of a good time.

5. Smiles. Do you have a sexy smile that is different from your regular smile. Post a pic of your sexy smile or describe it for us?

Oh, I am sure I have a different smile when I am giving Master the come on, or else during sex and play. I’ll have to ask him about it!

Bonus: May is Masturbation Month. Which of these is your best benefit from masturbating:
a. helps you to relax and/or fall asleep I don’t masturbate regularly any more. But this would be one of the best reasons to do so. Especially when I am all alone.
b. boosts self-esteem
c. combats erectile dysfunction
d. helps you know what feels good so you can tell your sex partner

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

One of those update posts

The strain of blogging every nearly every day for the Blogging A-Z challenge left me needing a break. I am so enthusiastic at the start of these memes but time, bad planning and the challenge of obscure words can get in the way.

But it’s time to move on and get back to reality. The February Photofest and Blogging A-Z Challenges are behind me. Time to move on through the year, develop some discipline and post spontaneously. It’s 2 months since Eroticon and I still haven’t got around to making the changes I said I would. No space so far for fiction, and generally my creative juices are struggling to emerge.

Life around here has been pretty full on, what with work, family and social stuff. Add a holiday into the mix and stir in Master’s new bathroom* and you get the picture. Not that any of this is an excuse, since over all I am pretty lazy when not doing any of the above. *N.B He has people in to fit the bathroom, though I helped out in choosing accessories. There are still towels, bathmats and a little cupboard to be considered.

We are very aware of the need to instil a bit more fun and play into our lives. Plus of course sex. The joy of spending more time together this past couple of weeks has included time discussing how to inject energy into our relationship. Plus to rediscover things like anal sex, which we haven’t done for a while.

This week he bought me a leather bra. Something I can wear under my clothing or else on its own around the house. The leather is beautifully soft and comfortable to wear. Master has a real fetish for leather gear, well he just has a real fetish in reality! Summer is on the way, though it isn’t too warm around these parts yet. But the opportunities to get out an about and to have some fun are emerging. Plus he has promised more dungeon time for my birthday in August.

Lots to look forward to and hopefully the opportunity for fun and games on top of normal life.

Summer here we come!

Blogging A-Z Challenge: X, Y & Z

X is for X-rated

Not really a word, but definitely at fact. This place is not safe for work, nor for the under 18. Over the years I have posted some pretty explicit photos, explored my sex life and kinks in flowery language. This kind of thing is not for all, and maybe in my early life it wouldn’t have been for me. Or would it?

I have never shied away from exploring my own or my partners body. I bought the joy of sex soon after I married, but without encouragement didn’t really follow through. Instead he brought home porn films which seemed corny and stupid to me. I guess what I wanted and needed was something a little more advanced and educated. But I was unable or unwilling to express my needs. If I had, perhaps things would have turned out differently.

Now though, we have the internet. I still prefer to read than to watch corny over the top porn videos. But I do love it when, on Tumblr I stumble across a clip of real life porn. The blonde bimbo, massively well endowed stud video is fine, but far removed from my life. I prefer to see an exert of real people having real sex for the joy of it. X rated, but generally not available in the shops.

Y is for year

As previously mentioned, this blog is now 5 years old. For this element of the post  – Y for year I have explored my archives over that time. As you can imagine I don’t always post on 30th April but these are the closest:

April 2012 – This was my 3rd post and was written as I prepared to visit my then Dom. He was heavily into controlling what I would wear. As a concept this was something new and I loved the idea of him controlling that aspect of my life.

April 2013 – Rather than pick 29th which is the closest I have chosen the day before, 28th. It seemed that my ex, who I was still meant to have been living with had been away on holiday with a male friend. This is interesting since this turned out to be a lie and he was away with a woman. I was reflecting too on a day out with a local meet up group. This was a way of doing new things with new people. I didn’t continue to explore social groups for long, but it did help me on my journey and get me out of the house. Contact with the Dom wasn’t all that frequent. The title of the post is interesting; yes it defined my future but not in the way I imagined.

April 2014 – The relationship with S ended in early in January and within weeks I was seeing Master. At the end of April he was preparing to visit his then slave and I was finding  life tough. Things with my ex were coming to a head, my son was home from university. The main problem though was jealousy. Her of me and me of her, not that I clearly understood that at the time. My relationship with Master was developing and hers was on a downwards spiral. Of course, the benefit of hindsight tells me that I had little or nothing to worry about, but of course I didn’t know that then!

April 2015 – A kink of the week post about Watersports. This is more Master’s kink than mine, but I can’t deny I do find it a turn on.

April 2016 – My final post for the Blogging A-Z challenge last year and a photo of the dreaded Zipper!

Z is for Zest

So with my usual perseverance in these matters I have reached the end. Z is for zest and the enthusiasm with which I face the future. It would be entirely true to say that I look forward to life outside work much more than I do my job. My career has been successful, especially in the past few years, but there is more for me now than that

I look forward to living with Master, to being the slave he wants me to be. I hope that I can focus more on that aspect of life. There are many places to which we wish to travel, there are things we wish to see and to do. There are books I want to read, information I wish to glean. Most of all though I have a life I wish to live.

I have a real zest for our life together.

 

Blogging A-Z Challenge: V&W

It was all going so well. Catching up on the 30 day challenge wasn’t a problem when I was just a day behind. Then leading up to T and U I got myself ahead. I had every intention of continuing in this vein, but work and my social life took over so. Now as the challenge ends today 30th April I find myself requiring V, W, X, Y and Z to complete the thing. As with all of these things planning is the key and if there is one thing I am bad at, it is planning. Actually, no that’s not quite true. I plan well, but if planning includes much more than writing a list, then I am often scuppered. And with this thing, I didn’t even do that.

But I am no quitter (except for the 365 question challenge and 2016 February Photofest so perhaps I am) so here, briefly are V to Z.

V is for vaginismus

Just recently vaginal sex has become painful, and at times I mean really painful. It’s like that bit of my body just doesn’t want anything inside it. There have been times too when I am dry, this can easily be put down to the menopause, and with sufficient foreplay resolved. We can use lubricants for that, but haven’t needed to. Master is, well the master of foreplay and knows how to get my juices going. It might sometimes take longer but it happens. He can explore my body with his fingers, use his mouth and tongue. But as soon as his cock tries to push its way in my muscles seem to clamp shut.

I am not entirely what to do about this problem, but don’t think there is a physical problem with my body. I had a smear less than a year ago and all was good. There is no pain the rest of the time and no bleeding. Therefore it must be psychological. I am sure together we will explore ways of getting over this problem, but for now it is a real pain. Well in the vagina.

I am self diagnosing Vaginismus, but am not entirely sure.

W is for weekends

More and more I find week days an interruption of the pleasure of my weekends. My working week is 4 days, but in truth 3 would be better now. We try to balance travel and social activities with some down time. We find that if we are too busy then we get too tired for sex and play. But then if we don’t have much planned we tend to vegetate and then get little achieved.

One of the best things about weekends is that there is often the chance to get away somewhere. Frequently this necessitates a hotel stay (we have a low threshold for not returning home). Most recently we travelled to the south coast on Friday to see Master’s daughter in a university show. 

I love hotel bathrooms and the lovely bathrobe they sometimes loan you (if loan is the right word). Yesterday morning when Master was showering I lazed on the bed and took these. 

 

These photos are perhaps the clearest indication of the way my life has changed over the past 3 years. They show how I can relax in a way I previously never could. They show a luxury I couldn’t previously enjoy and a happiness I wasn’t always privy to.

Now I just need to sort out one, hopefully little problem.

XY&Z to follow in the next post.

 

Sinful Sunday

Blogging A-Z Challenge: U

U is for uniforms

I know that many people find uniforms on their preferred gender a turn on. The military man, the police officer, the nurse. I am not entirely immune to this, I do find a smartly dressed man attractive, however I have no preference between a suit and a uniform. Attractive, but not a specific turn on.

When it comes to dressing for Master, I am happy to wear whatever makes him happy. I love to wear the leather waistcoats, the harnesses, the little skimpy dresses he has bought me. In the past I even wore sexy lingerie, stockings and heels for a man. At one time I dressed as a maid for the same man, it was a fun game. I am glad though, that Master is not into that kind of thing, and glad too he is not into uniforms.

I wonder what might be considered the most sexy uniform on a woman. A police woman, doctor, traffic warden? What’s the betting on nurse? Odds on I would say. The sexy nurse of the carry on film or the many other soft (or harder) porn movies. Wearing a white dress that barely covers her suspender tops, her ample cleavage bulging out at the front. That is not my idea of a nurse.

You see I am a nurse. Even though I no longer practise clinically I am still on the nursing register and consider myself a nurse. Wearing a tiny nurses uniform to enable another person to get off is not my idea of a good time. I wore my uniform to care for sick, disabled or dying people. I wore my uniform as I gave bad news to loved ones. For me the uniform of a nurse is something to wear with pride not as a sexual tool.

So, while I have few limits and most that I did have are the property of another. Wearing a nurses uniform is a red flag. A limit as hard as they come. Leather kink wear though, bring it on!

Blogging A-Z challenge: T

T is for touching

I awoke to feel his fingers on my nipples, gently pinching, stroking. Lying for a while, eyes closed I allowed the feelings of arousal to wash over me. Then I opened my eyes and looked at him, his response was to move my hand to his cock. Still flaccid to the touch, I stroked the soft skin of his cock and balls.

Gradually his cock came to life, and grew in my hand. His fingers moved from my nipple to my clitoris, he stroked the inner labia, flicked the pierced hood. All the time my hand continued to work his hard cock. He sat up and leaned down, spreading my legs wider. I felt his tongue exploring where his fingers had been, and his fingers back on my left nipple.

I released his cock from my hand. Unable to concentrate on anything else but what he was doing to me. The orgasm began to build in me and I concentrated on that too. As the climax grew close I concentrated on keeping it at bay.

Permission to cum was sought, and granted, but with the usual count down. I reached for his cock again, something to divert my mind, to prevent the inevitable. Until he reached 2 and I allowed myself to be absorbed by the impending orgasm, which at 0 overwhelmed me.

He wasn’t finished though. Pushing inside my wet pussy he took his pleasure and gave me more. Pulling out there was more to come. He instructed me to hold my pussy lips open and stroke myself while he watched. To touch my piercing, stroke myself and show him how I masturbate. Another orgasm followed, as his hands took over again. Finally he pushed inside me again. His orgasm, my prize followed soon after.

The importance of touch………

Blogging A-Z Challenge: R

R is for reflections

Still a day behind, but I will catch this up tomorrow, Sunday is usually a no post day. It is a shame I didn’t get chance to write this yesterday, because that was the 5th anniversary of my first blog post. Actually that is not strictly true, for about 5 or 6 years before that I blogged. But about my job and experiences of working in the UK health system. That blog continued for a while after starting World of joolz, but looming redundancy and fear that the two blogs might somehow get mixed up caused me take it down.

When I started that work related blog there was no choice but to do so anonymously. A dim view was taken of people who wrote about their life as a nurse, or health service manager as I was doing. People were disciplined and sacked at that time. I was always careful to be discrete and to make it difficult for people to identify who I really was. My words were my own opinion, and they were about me and the challenges I faced. I tended not to assassinate the characters of others, that really isn’t my way anyway. It prepared me in any case for writing a sex / kink blog.

That first post on World of joolz occured just after my first full sexual encounter with a man who wasn’t my husband. It is full of hope for the future, but already acknowledges the  potential difficulties ahead. Challenging as it is to read about my hopes for that new relationship, I am glad I wrote. I can see how I have developed and grown as a person. How my sex life has changed and how I have learned about this lifestyle. And how it prepared me for the future.