Weekend break – Part Two – The two of us

Our trip away involved us travelling to a medieval town north of where we both live (further north for Him). The town has a castle and nearby are lots of interesting cultural and historical places as well as some very nice countryside. We were blessed with the first reasonably warm weather of the year (spring has arrived very late here in the UK). Our small hotel / pub was 400 years old and was quite quaint and as Sir called it ‘quirky’. We had a four poster bed, however after the events of Part One, we didn’t actually use it for our intended purpose (which might have involved handcuffs of some kind of other thing you could be tied up with).  The room was spacious though and really very pleasant.

After our friends left, we changed and had dinner in the pub restaurant (it was 7.30 by then) and then went for a walk to get some fresh air and to have a look around the town. Later we cuddled up together in bed and slept. It would be true to say that the events of Friday wore us out, but after a good nights sleep and some lovely sex first thing in the morning we were ready for breakfast and the castle.

We are both interested in history and like to walk and explore places. Luckily we were staying within walking distance of the castle and arrived pretty much as the place opened. The castle staff were recruiting suitably strong and healthy people to be involved in firing the castle’s trebuchet and being the keen and eager big kid person Sir is he of course volunteered. After he and the other keen men had received some training in how to run round like a hamster and some health and safety information about how in an extreme case death could result, they put on a very fetching red tabard kind of thing and a hat and were ready. The friends and family’s of the volunteers left to watch at a safe distance and this is the kind of thing that happened.

The rest of the day we spent watching eagles and other birds of prey flying round, climbing up steps to battlements, looking around the castle, eating a picnic, going for a walk in the grounds and finding a quiet place where Sir could instruct me to suck his cock (well did you think we could be completely vanilla?). Back at the hotel, we retired to the four poster for some very satisfying sex and a short rest before we headed off to town for a lovely Thai meal.
Sunday we went off to a nearby town where a famous playwright and poet lived many years ago, we spent the morning strolling around, drinking coffee and eating scones, cream and jam. Sir worked this off by rowing me up and then down the river, which was all very pleasant indeed. We finished off with a picnic in the park before beginning our journey home.
So, it was a weekend of two halves; kinky and just plain wonderful. Sex and culture, history and kink, good food and very good and welcome turkish delight (produced at a very opportune moment during our kinky play). I could get a taste for all of this!

 

Best Vacation Spot

There are many places i could choose, since hubby and i have been to a wide range of places on holiday. Some of those have been in the UK and others in Europe and the USA. For the purpose of this particular post, i am going to choose two. This gives me the chance to think about one with our son and one where there was just the two of us.

 

Almost exactly 4 years ago when our son turned 18 we travelled to Rome, taking with us our nephew who is just 3 months older. It was their first trip together as adults and since they were both keen history students, Rome seemed a good choice. As we have an only child we have taken his cousin away with us many times, they get on so well together and have always kept company for each other. We chose a relatively cheap, but comfortable hotel in the centre of the city near the Colosseum. Just right for wandering the historic sites, and generally looking around. None of us were disappointed by the beauty of the place, nor by the food – contrary to what you read, it is possible to find good food without breaking the bank. What is more we also had some good wine. We were awed by the Colosseum and Palatine, and amazed by the Vatican. We walked to the Spanish Steps and Trevi Fountain. They went off on their own, to a bar after dinner of an evening and we went to somewhere quieter. Even though it was February it was surprisingly warm. The perfect treat for an 18th birthday i’d say (and they did).

The other best place for me was our trip to Northern California. Again this was a birthday trip, this time for hubby’s 50th birthday (Also just over 4 years ago), we had been due to travel with my parents, but just a few days before, my mum had her second stroke and wasn’t allowed to travel. I have never forgotten my dad’s selflessness as he drove us to the airport for what was meant to have been his trip of a life time to see the Redwoods of California.

The trip was in 3 parts, firstly to San Francisco, then on to Vegas and finally a house overlooking the Pacific Ocean at Bodega Bay. All of the trip was wonderful, but it was the last part of the trip that was the most memorable. We spent a week, with glorious hot October sun, exploring the area and sitting on our lovely deck watching the sea. We walked along the amazing beaches and along the rugged cliff tops. We drove along highway 1 stopping to look at views. Hubby was in his element in his convertible Sebring. We visited the redwoods and knew my dad would have just loved to have been there.

We ate local seafood, we read our books, we sat on our deck drinking Californian wine, we relaxed in our hot tub late into the evening….

Both were wonderful holidays, they conjure up the most wonderful memories.
Memories to hold on to

All photos are from my own album

Reflections – Judgement

As you might expect, during my period away from home, from work and the daily chores of life i have had time to properly reflect on where i have got to in my life and in what i am currently doing in relation to seeing Sir. At the beginning of the holiday, there were numerous times when i wanted to have ‘that’ conversation with my husband. To tell him that i want something different from life, that i want…what? Trouble with me is i really do want it all. i am no longer sure i want to break up my marriage of getting on for 30 years unless i have a pretty good alternative. It is not the living on my own i wouldn’t like, it is more the mess i would live behind and the fact i would need to find somewhere to live. i would lose friends, lose the respect of family and much more. i would really hurt hubby. The alternative (to doing nothing) is to come clean about the affair side of things and to seek an open relationship. This would be my preference, but of course, once i open my mouth to hubby there would be no turning back and i could find myself rapidly in scenario one. As the week went on, and we were able to talk, laugh and to have some fun (though no sex), i realised that perhaps for now it is best to keep the status quo. i don’t really seek to change my life significantly, Sir lives quite a way away and my job and my family are here.

My biggest problem is that i hate the deception. i have been the one to be deceived and i didn’t like it. In the past i have been able to hold the moral ground, as i could always say to hubby that whatever else i had done, i had never slept with another man. During the last 6  months though, i have had enough sex with another man to constitute 3 years of sleep! No moral ground for me now then! i hate the idea of being judged when all i am doing is finding something of myself in my 50th year. i feel i deserve that deep down, but trouble is that i know that life is not that simple. People will and do judge. People judge each other when they don’t even really know each other, let alone when they are friends and family. We all have moral standards and values, and i am no different.

When i started this blog, i was very fearful of being judged by the community that i was seeking to enter; hence my disclaimer at the top of my blog. My take on this was that i judge myself already and don’t actually need anyone who reads what i write to make those judgements too. Until now, i have found the BDSM blogging community to be pretty tolerant. Personally i love to read about the lives of my fellow bloggers, some of the things they have done have led me to consider new options for myself and Sir. Littleone and Fondles both bought corsets and then i got myself one which Sir loved. It is the stories of spanking which have led to more spanking taking place in my scenes with Sir (we have both read blogs where lots of spanking takes place). But there is plenty of what i read that i don’t want for myself and Sir doesn’t want for us. We may discuss some of these things, we make judgements. i wouldn’t go to other peoples blogs and tell them that their choices are rubbish and that they are wrong to have taken them. i might join a discussion about them, but when i write comments i try to be kind. i have without exception, found people commenting here to be kind people. Some of those who do comment (i am making a judgement here), probably disagree with the idea of me having an affair while still married to hubby and while he is in the dark about things. But if they do then they don’t show it and for that i am grateful. This doesn’t mean that people have to agree with what i or others say, people can and do express their thoughts but tact and kindness is key.

Since i am still on leave from work, and hubby is not, i had plenty of time yesterday to catch up with all the reading i had missed on my favorite blogs. i was surprised and upset by the events over the past few days at finding my submission where judgements were expressed in an unpleasant way. i am pleased to say that many fellow bloggers showed their support for sin and that those events led to a number of posts by sin, aisha and sfp at jumping on in about blogging and the extent to which we provide a support group for each other and don’t judge when perhaps we should, about anonymity and about having opinions but just being nice about them. As usual, something not so pleasant has led to lots of discussion. Trouble is, that in the original post, sin was trying to express some concerns about her relationship with her Master which like mine is extra marital. Those concerns got lost in lots of other valuable discussion, but left sin and others feeling wounded (i am making a judgement based on what i have read). So i guess that after this long ramble what i am saying is, by all means judge, but be nice when you do it, and don’t forget the original message.

Back

France was great, though the weather on some days was less sunny and warm than i may have liked. I managed to swim in the sea though and to walk miles. I also ate some very good food and drank some lovely wine. Back to the diet asap! My world has been refreshingly vanilla. I make no excuses for admitting that other than a few email exchanges with Sir and some thoughts about what He might choose to do with me in those surroundings (slutty escapades in the outdoors, making use of the slatted railings to the mezzanine floor which served as our bedroom to name two) I have been in relaxing mode. I can’t really explain how tired I felt before i left these shores, but it was very weary indeed.

I feel pretty refreshed, well i would be but Sir suggested an early morning skype this morning and i was too eager to see him to say no (not that i am good at turning him down at the best of times). We haven’t done the skype thing before, and i was a bit reticent about him seeing me when i had only just woken up. But then i thought, how silly, he has seen me when asleep, let alone newly woken! We were a little naughty on there, but what are two adults to do when they haven’t laid eyes on each other for 3 weeks and have another week to go.

One of the best things about having been away, with limited contact to each other is knowing that we have missed each other. It does the heart good to know that while i have been thinking about him, he has also been thinking of me. It reminds me of how much he means to me now, and what i mean to him. Counting down now to next Thursday. Much more of that in the days to come….

Interlude

From tomorrow afternoon, for a bit over a week, this will be the view from my door. On that table will be wine, cheese, baguettes and a host of other goodies. i am going to stroll along that beach, swim in that sea and i am going to generally let myself unwind. My thoughts will probably frequently turn to Sir, thinking about what he might be doing. i will also reflect on some of the wonderful things we have done together over recent months and begin to think about the future times we will share. Mostly though i will read, catch some sun rays (there has been something of an absence of sun and warmth in the UK this summer), eat some nice food, drink some nice wine, walk, chat with our friends who live nearby and unwind.

Work has made me tired, it has been busy, but also we have the stress of knowing that from April 2013 structures of our services will have changed. When i return from my break i will have to start the process of applying for jobs (my own if it exists, or another if it doesn’t). This is a good time to pause, reflect and recharge.

When i return i will have a few more days off, which i will need to catch up on everyone’s blogs! See you then!

Quick update

i had a lovely weekend in Barcelona, with good company and some long awaited sun! i have returned with some rare sunburn, i am usually so careful and i really don’t know how i managed to let it happen. Lets just say that it was a very windy day, i went in the sea after lunch and didn’t reapply the cream in enough time. Hopefully by the time i see Sir next week i will be a slightly browner shade of red!

Other than the one day on the beach, we did the tourist thing – at last i got to see the inside of Gaudi’s great Sagrada Famillia and i wasn’t disappointed. i really love Barcelona for its mix of arty culture, good food, drink and the beach. The only thing that made it difficult was my continuing anxiety about my current relationship with hubby versus a desire to be with Sir.

The relationship i have with hubby is fine enough, but if i say that he didn’t seem bothered that we had been given a twin room rather than a double you might get the sense of where we are right now. Our lack of physical contact goes un noticed however and my brother, who we were with assumes that we are fine and we will go on forever. The fact that no one sees what i feel as a general sense of unhappiness is in one way a good thing, but in another feels like a lack of awareness of the needs of others – in essence me.

i have chatted online to Sir. i don’t know if he has read the blog but if he has it hasn’t done anything to ruin things between us. i will broach the subject with him, maybe tonight. A week tomorrow we should be getting to spend at least one whole night together and maybe more. Hubby is going on a bachelor weekend trip and i get something of a breather. i think i will need it.

Not much from me in the last week, but i intend to write lots over the weekend, when time is on my side.

The good, the bad and slightly bizarre

I have been wondering how to describe the last couple of days and maybe this will sum it up! Perhaps reverse order, like X Factor, Britain’s Got Talent and Miss World? Warning: this will be quite a long post so I am splitting it into two.

Slightly Bizarre
Sir was very pleased with himself. He found a lovely B&B in the middle of the City, overlooking the Cathedral. It was very nice, and the room was lovely. The bed was low, but it was beautiful. If a Person arrived there organised, with rope then their Sub could be tied to that bed nicely. Still we weren’t to know, and sadly despite the lovely spacious room, with its lovely bed, beautiful bathroom, we won’t be able to visit again. This is directly related to the decision i made aproximately a week or more ago that staying over would be a step too far.

Cheating on hubby doesn’t come easily to me, i am new to it. Indeed i would say i am learning how to be Sir’s slut more quickly and efficiently than learning to be particularly adventurous or good at telling lies. Usually in a year i might stay out overnight once or twice and i have already done that 3 times (only one of those with Sir mind you, the others on bonefide work trips). I should have made this number 4 but instead i decided to go home and then return to Sir bright and early. This was a mistake in a small B&B. The lady of the house met me at the front door as i left, and asked where i was going and what about my husband? I managed to escape but then getting into my car realised i had left my glasses in Sir’s room (damn Sir’s glasses fetish, contact lenses are often more convenient)! Sir brought my glasses down, which involved him needing to interact with Mrs lady of the house!

i returned in the morning; Sir told me that she continued to refer to me as his wife, though he had never told her i was such a person. She greeted me as i came in feeling not a little embarrassed, but to be honest Sir kept me busy for a good hour or more after that (more later).

i had brought a bag with me, with the sorts of things a girl might need when meeting her lover on a summers evening (stockings, suspenders, a variety of toys and fuck me shoes to name but a few things). These were packed in the bag as we prepared to leave at around 10.30.

At around 3pm, as i dropped Sir at the station it became apparent that while we had Sir’s belongings we did not have mine. Luckily Sir had suggested he take home with him a number of items  – maids outfit and my split bra and knickers (Sir particularly likes these), so these were in his bag. After leaving Sir to get his train i returned to the B&B and Mrs lady of the house.

She opened the door with a little smile. The kind of smile that tells you she has had a good look and has a mental view of every item – the egg vibe with remote control, the butt plug, the vibrator (the last 2 not used on this occasion), the suspender belt, stockings and the black 4 inch heels. “you will be needing this” she said as i practically ran to my car and drove off. Sir’s text later showed he found all of this VERY amusing.

The moral. Be brave, stay the night with your man and don’t forget your bag especially if its contents are a little on the embarrassing side!

The Bad

This bit will be short, since not much was actually bad.

The weather could have been better; have i mentioned how terrible this summer is proving, well it is! There was rain and when it wasn’t raining it wasn’t entirely dry. Still we didn’t let the weather cause us too much trouble since we are British people who are used to it!

Sir felt a little off colour over the two days. However he didn’t really let it prevent us having some pretty good sex. OK so he wasn’t necessarily up to his own very high standards, but they were way higher than those offered up by most men. i was not disappointed!

Nothing else was especially bad. Good will follow shortly!

O what a week

This week’s two lunchtime phone sessions have been rounded off by a third last night. i am currently in a hotel in the East of the Country where i am on a work related course. Last evening after dinner with my kindle in the hotel bar (plus a glass of a very average sauvignon blanc) i returned to my lonely room and dressed for sir. i have mentioned before that i am intrigued by my willingness to dress as instructed when the person who did this instructing can’t see me.  Of course i did it and enjoyed the feeling of the sexy underwear as we spoke to each other on the phone. Sir had his children staying (which is why he was unable to join me) and the fact that he whispered down the phone to make sure his older child couldn’t hear if not quite asleep made it all the sexier.

Phone sex is no replacement for the real thing but when you can’t have reality it is pretty sexy and being told what to touch and where, what toys to use and where is even more erotic. We talked about where we will go next time i get down to his place and what we will do when we are there. He is pushing himself and me to try some new things and i am as he says a willing pupil.

i finished my latest book, the second in the Masters at Arms series. i think i will write a review of both the books read so far tomorrow morning.

So despite being alone in a hotel room i am a happy bunny and am feeling pretty fulfilled and loved. That can’t be a bad end to a week can it?