#SoSS No. 2

It’s been a busy couple of weeks so, while November was much better in terms of writing and posting, there is room for improvement. It has now been confirmed that rather than happening before Christmas, mum will move on 12th January. This means that the pressure is off and I will have more time for me and us in the run up to Christmas. I have loads of ideas for blog posts and want to join in on writing something for the Eroticon Anthology. I just need to crack on and devote time to getting things done. Now though onto the purpose of this post – #SoSS (Share our Shit Saturday) No 2.

MPB’s picks of the week

I can only imagine how difficult it must be to go through the writings of a sister who passed away a year ago. A wrote some amazing stuff on the blog she shared with M. I am so thankful that M is sharing some of A’s early work with us. I was particularly struck by this amazing postthis week by Cammies On The Floor.

The Smut Marathon is something I would love to participate in, but am not sure I have the talent for. This is a 10 round writing marathon, which is being run and hosted by Marie Rebelle from Rebel’s notes. Probably time to just go for it!

Just as I was thinking about what posts to include, Molly from Molly’s Daily Kiss published this years Top 100 Sex Blog for 2017. I was thrilled to see that Kayla Lords is in top spot. Well deserved placings too for so many of my favourite bloggers. Maybe too, inspiration to actually write more so that some day I get nominated for something like this.

Mean time it also means that I can go and read some new blogs, since I don’t know everyone in the list. More material for next week’s post too!


Share our Shit Saturday

Why do this?

Over the past few weeks a new meme has emerged. Share our Shit Saturday is designed to highlight the great sex bloggers out there on the inter web and all of the amazing work that they produce. There is so much wonderful stuff to find – raunchy fiction, beautiful poetry and prose, amazingly skilful photography and serious posts about the future of sex blogging.

To say the mainstream social media such as Facebook and Twitter are not keen on helping to promote us would be an understatement. The latest effort to prevent those tweeting anything deemed explicit is Shadow Banning. Twitter prevents accounts it deems undesirable from being seen by those not already following. Therefore it becomes difficult to promote websites, books, films etc. As a pretty low volume, low profile blogger, luckily this hasn’t happened to me as yet. But many of the sex blogging and writing community are shadow banned.

And, that is not all there is to worry about. Ever since we attended Eroticon  earlier in the year I have been aware of the legal issues that are approaching. Myles Jackman, a UK obscenity Lawyer very eloquently explained the legal minefield we face in showing and describing acts deemed obscene.

It is weird to think that just because you enjoy sex that is a little more kinky than the norm. Just because you may call your partner Sir or Master like to be spanked you are in some way abnormal. But that is definitely the case.

For some reason there is an obsession about children and young people accessing literature and photos deemed pornographic online. There seems less concern about violence or about ensuring that our youth are well educated and prepared for life. Enabled to understand what a healthy relationship looks like. The same politicians proposing and then passed this bill have been exposed as sex pests and abusers. Apparently this is less dangerous to the young than exposure to online porn!

In April 2018 there will be a requirement to have an age check mechanism on websites and online platforms providing ‘commercial’ pornography. Everything I read about this makes me believe that this is a data breach scandal waiting to happen. Not only that, but in my experience young people are very savvy about how to get around rules. So I am not even sure these mechanisms will be enough to stop a determined teen. None of us want children looking at our blogs and websites, let alone commercial porn. But this isn’t the way to stop them and it feels that along the way we all might end up being vilified at best and criminalised at worst.

My reading recommendations

This week I have been reading around the subject. Pandora Blakeprovides an excellent over view of the potential dangers of age verification.

Many of my fellow sex bloggers and authors use Patreon to help support and fund their work. I have to admit that until this week I had little knowledge of  some of the challenges everyone is facing. It seems that moves are afoot to stop erotic authors, photographers  and film producers being excluded from this support. I discovered ErosBlog  this week as I tried to find out more. I highly recommend reading this and other posts.

So onto some of the bloggers that I love and respect and their posts this week that I have enjoyed.

Molly wrote an amazing post for the Wicked Wednesday prompt Geography. I am in awe of her creativity as a blogger and photographer. I love that she used the geography of husband Michael’s body as the centre of the post.

Ann St Vincent has the most amazing poor luck in finding the right kind of guy to date. As we know, many people lie about their marital status, about their readiness for a new relationship or just about the fact that they are only around for a quick fuck. I love Ann’s blog, she manages to keep cheerful while weeding out the dross from the downright dishonest.

Fondles and I have a long history of visiting each other’s blog, reading and commenting. She started her relationship with BIKSS at the same time I met S and there were some similarities as our journey began. Various life things got in the way and Fondles stopped blogging for a while. Now, though she is back with a vengeance and we have reconnected via our blogs.

Given the huge introduction to the topic, that is it for today. But I do plan to make #SoSS a regular thing.


Wicked Wednesday review

This week I realised I am still learning about how to write for a blog. I recently offered to help Marie from Rebel’s Notes with the roundup and judging of Wicked Wednesday. She took me up on the offer and this week it was my turn; Marie will publish my top 3 today. The Wicked Wednesday prompt for the following week is posted on Saturday, along with the roundup and top 3 from the previous week.

I have taken part in a number of the regular memes that circulate the sex and kink related blog world, including Wicked Wednesday. They are a great way to focus on a topic, to share with a wider audience and to find new blogs to read. My own preference is posts about real lived experience and also opinion about life, love, sex and kink. Probably because those are the kinds of blog posts I write. Fiction doesn’t come easily to me as a writer and although I read plenty of fictional books of all genres I tend not to do so on blogs. I am not sure why, but when I browse blogs and find short stories I often pass by. That however might change now.

2517 and all that

This week’s prompt was about life 500 years hence in 2517. I fully intended to write a post and wanted to try some fiction, I even started the post. My thoughts centred around the idea that maybe our lives would have become simpler. Technology has advanced beyond recognition in the past 100 years. We use it to communicate, to make life easier, as labour saving devices, and to fight wars. What if communication such as we know it had led to war on such a scale never before seen? What if a re-evaluation of our lives and existence had taken place. I planned to link this to the idea of greater tolerance and the idea that I should be able to live openly as a slave if I wish.

But events in Manchester on Monday kind of derailed my thoughts. Suddenly I found it almost impossible to write about what was really my own utopia. Death, injury, fear, hurt and suffering were at the forefront of my thoughts and so I abandoned my post. I am sorry I did, but not sorry that I still had to read everyone else’s blogs.

Reviewing and judging

There were 12 posts to review, but when I began the judging process I had already read 3 or 4. Of course I needed to go back and refresh my memory and then read the rest. I was impressed by the imagination and creativity that had gone into creating stories around the prompt. Not everyone’s writing was about life in 2517, but a significant number were.

There is such an amazing talent of sex bloggers who write fiction, and to think I had been skipping over their posts. There were also a number of off topic tales and personal reflective posts. The task of judging a top 3 was much harder than I imagined – I chose my top 7 and went to bed late on Thursday night. Friday morning I quickly re-read those and came up with my top 3, in no order. Went out to run a few errands and came back with a clear order.

These were my personal choice, no one else. I fully expect that if another person reviewed the same 12 posts they might come up with a different top 3 or in a different order. But I took my role in this seriously and stand by my own list.

Final thoughts

Most of us blog for fun, a few manage to make money doing it. But what I have learned is that we do take the business of writing seriously. Some of us find writing easier than others, but there are some seriously talented people out there. I feel privileged to have been invited to judge Wicked Wednesday. It took a whole evening and a little more from my life, but it was worth it.  I take my hat off (well would if I were wearing one) to people like Marie who run memes like this every week. They put an enormous amount of work into helping people like me blog. I encourage anyone reading this who blogs to take part.

One of those update posts

The strain of blogging every nearly every day for the Blogging A-Z challenge left me needing a break. I am so enthusiastic at the start of these memes but time, bad planning and the challenge of obscure words can get in the way.

But it’s time to move on and get back to reality. The February Photofest and Blogging A-Z Challenges are behind me. Time to move on through the year, develop some discipline and post spontaneously. It’s 2 months since Eroticon and I still haven’t got around to making the changes I said I would. No space so far for fiction, and generally my creative juices are struggling to emerge.

Life around here has been pretty full on, what with work, family and social stuff. Add a holiday into the mix and stir in Master’s new bathroom* and you get the picture. Not that any of this is an excuse, since over all I am pretty lazy when not doing any of the above. *N.B He has people in to fit the bathroom, though I helped out in choosing accessories. There are still towels, bathmats and a little cupboard to be considered.

We are very aware of the need to instil a bit more fun and play into our lives. Plus of course sex. The joy of spending more time together this past couple of weeks has included time discussing how to inject energy into our relationship. Plus to rediscover things like anal sex, which we haven’t done for a while.

This week he bought me a leather bra. Something I can wear under my clothing or else on its own around the house. The leather is beautifully soft and comfortable to wear. Master has a real fetish for leather gear, well he just has a real fetish in reality! Summer is on the way, though it isn’t too warm around these parts yet. But the opportunities to get out an about and to have some fun are emerging. Plus he has promised more dungeon time for my birthday in August.

Lots to look forward to and hopefully the opportunity for fun and games on top of normal life.

Summer here we come!

Blogging A-Z Challenge: X, Y & Z

X is for X-rated

Not really a word, but definitely at fact. This place is not safe for work, nor for the under 18. Over the years I have posted some pretty explicit photos, explored my sex life and kinks in flowery language. This kind of thing is not for all, and maybe in my early life it wouldn’t have been for me. Or would it?

I have never shied away from exploring my own or my partners body. I bought the joy of sex soon after I married, but without encouragement didn’t really follow through. Instead he brought home porn films which seemed corny and stupid to me. I guess what I wanted and needed was something a little more advanced and educated. But I was unable or unwilling to express my needs. If I had, perhaps things would have turned out differently.

Now though, we have the internet. I still prefer to read than to watch corny over the top porn videos. But I do love it when, on Tumblr I stumble across a clip of real life porn. The blonde bimbo, massively well endowed stud video is fine, but far removed from my life. I prefer to see an exert of real people having real sex for the joy of it. X rated, but generally not available in the shops.

Y is for year

As previously mentioned, this blog is now 5 years old. For this element of the post  – Y for year I have explored my archives over that time. As you can imagine I don’t always post on 30th April but these are the closest:

April 2012 – This was my 3rd post and was written as I prepared to visit my then Dom. He was heavily into controlling what I would wear. As a concept this was something new and I loved the idea of him controlling that aspect of my life.

April 2013 – Rather than pick 29th which is the closest I have chosen the day before, 28th. It seemed that my ex, who I was still meant to have been living with had been away on holiday with a male friend. This is interesting since this turned out to be a lie and he was away with a woman. I was reflecting too on a day out with a local meet up group. This was a way of doing new things with new people. I didn’t continue to explore social groups for long, but it did help me on my journey and get me out of the house. Contact with the Dom wasn’t all that frequent. The title of the post is interesting; yes it defined my future but not in the way I imagined.

April 2014 – The relationship with S ended in early in January and within weeks I was seeing Master. At the end of April he was preparing to visit his then slave and I was finding  life tough. Things with my ex were coming to a head, my son was home from university. The main problem though was jealousy. Her of me and me of her, not that I clearly understood that at the time. My relationship with Master was developing and hers was on a downwards spiral. Of course, the benefit of hindsight tells me that I had little or nothing to worry about, but of course I didn’t know that then!

April 2015 – A kink of the week post about Watersports. This is more Master’s kink than mine, but I can’t deny I do find it a turn on.

April 2016 – My final post for the Blogging A-Z challenge last year and a photo of the dreaded Zipper!

Z is for Zest

So with my usual perseverance in these matters I have reached the end. Z is for zest and the enthusiasm with which I face the future. It would be entirely true to say that I look forward to life outside work much more than I do my job. My career has been successful, especially in the past few years, but there is more for me now than that

I look forward to living with Master, to being the slave he wants me to be. I hope that I can focus more on that aspect of life. There are many places to which we wish to travel, there are things we wish to see and to do. There are books I want to read, information I wish to glean. Most of all though I have a life I wish to live.

I have a real zest for our life together.


Blogging A-Z Challenge: I

Preparations are underway for our holiday on Thursday, so I am juggling finishing off work with ironing and the like. I have enjoyed using the A-Z challenge to share some of the events of our stay in the Secret Dungeon. But I was struck by a post from Sunday and the comments added over the weekend. The post itself was about writing for the joy of receiving views and comments, rather than for writing for itself. @BibulousOne who writes Pain as Pleasure describes the ebb and flow of relationships and sex with in them. Then the process of writing about events that have happened. In the comments there is a suggestion that a post might be planned even while in the throws of sex or play.

Why does this inspire me?

Well because dammit, I have done that very thing. Not while tied to the St George cross mind, I was more interested in the torture befalling me. But I can’t deny playing out a post in my head when I should be concentrating on other things. Not only that, but I do look at  my stats too often, partly because I have moved my blog 3 times now. I slightly mourn the lost of traffic caused by those moves. We both think about Sinful Sunday and Master enjoys taking photos we might use for Molly’s Meme. But that is just one post a week and there is no harm in sharing a photo knowing it will increase traffic. The rest of the time this blog is where I explore a side of myself that cannot be expressed elsewhere. It is a place I let him know how I feel. Explore my kinks and my thoughts about them.

Blogging for the sake of it

There are whole months when I blog because I am taking part in a meme – February Photofest or this months challenge. But at other times, when I consider nothing has happened, I might only blog a few times. Striking up more of a balance is perhaps the challenge and something I will think about. But it is important to keep an eye on why and for whom you do this. The post on Pain as Pleasure has inspired me to remember that.

Recollections of the past

A couple of weeks ago I installed a widget that allows random posts from your blog to be reposted to Twitter or Facebook. I had noticed it on a few people’s twitter feed and since I have almost 5 years worth of posts I decided to try it too. Every 12 hours or so a new tweet, with a link appears on my twitter feed. Yesterday this one cropped up. It was liked and retweeted by eye  and then commented on by Rebecca. How strange then that this week’s Wicked Wednesday is about recollections.

That the post entitled ‘Relationships’ was written in March 2013. At the time I was going though a lot of trauma with my ex. He had recently found out about my relationship with S and was pretty keen to point our my shortcomings at every opportunity. When, that is he wasn’t telling me how much he loved me and that he didn’t want to lose me. When I brought up his own infidelity he told me that something that happened 20 years ago didn’t count. The trouble is that the hurt from all that time ago, had never left me. Writing in a bit of detail about being cheated on as a young wife and mother helped put things into perspective.

Infidelity is not something to be taken lightly. We made a promise to each other in front of family and friends. A promise that we would love, honour and cherish each other. I never imagined that he would break that promise quite so quickly. Especially as in the aftermath he pretty much told me I was frigid and boring in bed. More recent events have proved that not to be the case. Embarking on my own journey took some guts, and all of the time I knew I was being unfaithful. I knew that if he every found out, then he would be devastated and so he was.

But the interesting thing about the recollections associated with this post is this. In March 2013, while he continued to make me feel guilty and to try to get me to dump S, my ex was already seeing another woman. They had met at Christmas and were in the early stages of their current relationship. The wronged man was already in another’s arms. For months after that he pretended that he was spending much of his time staying with a male friend. I believed him because it was easy to do so and because I was preoccupied. The man was a liar hypocrite in the early 90’s when I found out about that first affair and still is today.

For the most part I try to look forwards, looking back doesn’t always help. Sometimes recollections of the past can help. My words from 2013 certainly have done that today.


What is necessary?

In the first few days after I moved my blog to this new place I made a few schoolboy errors.  One of these was to accidentally delete all categories and tags I had dragged through. I guess that I could have resent all of the posts, but I decided not to. In all honesty I underestimated the sheer volume of work involved in reviewing nearly 5 years of posts. It was with enthusiasm that I embarked on the task, after all this is about my journey. But I reckoned without the emotional journey that it would send me upon.

I started by working back, but unfortunately during January and February I was experiencing a quiet blogging period. Except of course for February Photofest. So I tried going back to the beginning and in doing so, discovered a forgotten past. Indeed it was a past where, in an attempt to discover the submission I needed I allowed emotion to overtake good sense. As the weeks and months went on, back in 2012 I immersed myself into an alternative reality. One where I struggled with my marriage, while embarking on a relationship with a man who wasn’t what he seemed.

Frustration made me return to the end and work backwards. So far I have reached page 28 or 39, just before I met Master, a journey of 3 years. Journeying through times of love, travel and kink. Through the awful period when my dad was ill and subsequently died. Through too difficult experiences with my mum, her moods, illnesses and our relationship.

All that time my marriage has been drawing to its natural conclusion, a time much more protracted than should be the case. The number of times where I plan to tell him to get lost and that the house will be sold are too numerous to mention.

I have a plan to progress at speed. to label anything involving previous relationships as such. Some of that stuff I may never revisit again.

But just maybe this process has been useful, necessary. Perhaps it has helped me to see just how far I have travelled and how close I am to my goal.

Perhaps this was a necessary task.

I have a few days off. I am spending that time finishing off the decluttering and general preparation for the sale.
Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Erotica and me – getting over the mental block

One of the reasons I wanted to go to Eroticon was to explore the possibility of writing erotic fiction. In the main, my blog has always been about me and my relationships. For much of the past 5 years, there has been plenty of experiences to recount. I am sure that this will continue, but since my relationship with Master is for the longterm real life there is unlikely to be kinky excitement all of the time. Last weekend I struggled to complete the exercises set us by Ashley Lister. I couldn’t think of a 6 word story, kinky or otherwise. Generally my creative brain felt somewhat numb. But it wasn’t always like this.

The teenage years

There was a time when I wrote stories, in longhand in a notebook. My friend  and I wrote about the boys from school, the ones we had a crush on. These were tales of innocent romance, about being noticed and kissed. In our dreamworld we were attractive, we became their girlfriends. There was, as far as I can remember, no actual sex  involved. We were 15 or 16 and pretty naive.

Real life overtook us, real boyfriends were found, Wendy left school and started work, she went out with a number of boys including a very odd distant cousin of mine. Her next boyfriend was older and much more mature. She grew bored with our stories, indeed we grew apart. Her life was more interesting than the fiction we had created.

I also had a boy friend, but for me the exploration of my sexuality and his body meant I wanted to write more. I began to fantasise about what sex could and should be about, without even knowing why. Without even recognising that I wasn’t fulfilled in the way I could have been.

I started my nurse training and my writings became essays about nursing care, anatomy and psychology. Hell, there was no time to think about erotic stories, much less write them. Anyway I was having proper, actual sex. In a single bed, in a nurses home, in London. Boys weren’t allowed in our room after midnight, so I was living on the edge here.


At some point soon after I became a married woman I picked up my pen and paper again. Marriage wasn’t quite as I had imagined it to be. I worked shifts at a local hospital, often we saw little of each other. At some point in those first years my hubby strayed with someone at work. He pretended to work late, go out with mates and left me on my own for long periods of time.

Looking back, the stories I created in my A4 notepads were pretty raunchy. There was a lot of sex, often involving more than two people. I explored the idea of lesbian sex, even though I knew that I wasn’t turned on by other women in real life. I brought back the men (previously boys)  that I had a crush on as a teenager. These were now hot-blooded men rather than boys. I had no knowledge of BDSM but did explore being controlled by a man. I guess this was a direct result of needing to exert quite so much control over my own life, back then.


Then I became pregnant, for a while I continued the fantasies. But then I was a mother. Juggling work, family, marriage with an unfaithful man (not that I knew) who was incredibly needy, I had neither the time or the imagination. I threw the books away and got on with life.

From time to time I tried to recreate the stories. In those early days I had been able to almost lose myself in the fantasy of the fiction I had created. But responsibility to work, motherhood and paying the mortgage mean that you need to centre yourself. Once I found the blogosphere I was more interested in describing the world I inhabited (mainly work related) that I forgot about any kind of fiction.


Until this week, I had blocked from my mind that I ever wrote fiction, let alone that it might have involved erotica. But I did. Thinking back, there is no reason that I couldn’t get my brain around a kinky story right now. I have the time, the space and dammit the ability to make this happen. I just need to give myself the permission to do so.

Blogging update – moving on from the past (first ever photo post?)

Blogging update – moving on from the past

Last Sunday I finally got around to moving my blog. Just over two years ago, when it looked as if Blogger was going to ban sex related sites, I bought my own domain. I searched for and read about hosting, WordPress etc and planned to move. I worked out how to move posts across and even successfully managed to do so. Then following a public outcry Google had second thoughts. I couldn’t work out how to make my blogger blog redirect to my self hosted one, so I just gave up. Periodically I returned to look, once more I moved posts across, but still I couldn’t work out how to redirect.

A few weeks ago I received an email to tell me that my domain name was up for renewal. Should I let it go or try again? Always up for a challenge, I decided to give it one more go. So last weekend I spend time that could have been put to better use, working on the move. After much trial and error I got everything across, including photos and links. Then I managed the redirect. Somehow I then managed to re-import the posts and ended up having to manually trawl through and delete about 750 posts.

But after linking my Sinful Sunday post for last week, I heard from Molly that she had spotted a security problem. Somehow I had set up the blog with a url ending in /blog and if you typed .com  you landed at my C panel. Thankfully @DomSigns was able to help out with the technical details so by Friday I was up and running. I am really grateful for Molly and Michael’s help, without which i don’t think I would have been able to get this far.

Then, just as I got to the point where I might be able to concentrate on new material I managed to mess things up again. Having installed a plug in to delete duplicates I somehow managed to delete all the tags and categories in the entire blog. The past couple of days have been spent categorising everything, starting with this past week backwards and then today from the beginning.

Reading about a long left behind relationship has left me with mixed thoughts. Firstly, I had forgotten just how much I had written in those early days. As I explored new experiences I wrote copiously. I embraced the rules he laid down enthusiastically, if perhaps blindly. I enjoyed the times we had, but now recognise he was probably using me. His marriage had ended and he saw me as an opportunity to explore his kinky side.

5 years on, I am faced with a dilemma. I have no desire to remove that part of my life from this blog, but I wonder if those posts need to be characterised in the way they were? As I reviewed them I know labelled them differently. But should I be more radical and create an “archive” category and then move on?

The past is important, after all it made me the person I am today but I need to move forwards. I am in another relationship, one that everyone knows about. I am a slave and Master is my owner. We know pretty much everything  about each other, both positive and negative. I recognise the things that are important, I need to move on. Moving my blog is the right thing for me. I will have greater freedom about what and how I write. But it will also allow me to let go of the past. There is great value in that.

The image below was the first I posted of me on my blog in 2012. He loved me to dress up in that kind of way and I has fun doing so. But that was then and I think I prefer the way Master likes me to dress for him now. The maid will be consigned to the archives after today along with that part of my blog.


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