Who am I?

A couple of posts that caught my eye this week cover the theme of using pseudonyms to blog. The first by Girl on the Net was about the extent to which your online persona is different from the real you. GOTN even describes herself as sometimes hating her online self. Real life is so much less exciting that the edited one you can create for others. More and better sex and someone who has all the answers. Plus, GOTN is a brand, for good or bad. Something she can’t quite escape, even if she wanted to.

The second was from Kayla Lord’s Smutlancer blog. Yesterday was the first time I visited that site and I found it full of useful ideas for the budding online writer. In the article – Do you need a pen name as a sex writer – she talks about creating an online persona. Finding the right name, making it sound real (or being GOTN for example). The post also covers the challenge of keeping your blog self separate from the real you – physically and emotionally. Social media has a habit of linking your online self to your real self if you let it. This is bad enough when work and home life comes together. But if you blog about sex and have a responsible job to lose and family who wouldn’t understand or approve separation is important.

So who am I?

I am not particularly creative, certainly when it comes to creating a fantastic pseudonym. My real name is Julie and I am Julie here. I am MPB because Master called  me that and it seemed like an appropriate name for a sex blogger. But if I were to write a book (unlikely I know), I could hardly use Master’s Pleasing Bitch as the author’s name. It seems a bit late to come up with a proper sex blog, author name now. Maybe the name isn’t so important, MPB is relatively catchy and those who know me (online or in reality) call me Julie.

But to what extent is the online Julie, MPB really me? At the beginning of the blog, I was starting a journey into a new life, I wrote about a different side to me. One I struggled to understand, but l knew I enjoyed. I wrote candidly about coming clean to my husband and the emotions that brought with it. During the months from November 2012 when I confessed, my blog self mirrored the real person. I struggled to cope with the emotions associated with infidelity, a shocked and devastated husband and knowing what to do about the mess I was in. When my relationship with Master started and I discovered my submissive self properly, I again wrote about my emotions. This blog was a place where I could come speak candidly in a way that I couldn’t anywhere in real life.

Almost 4 years have passed since then, and unsurprisingly our relationship is settled and routine. We have our sexy moments and I write about those. I rarely describe the emotional aspects of life, because I can discuss them in real time with him. While I show more of myself here than many do, I still seek to keep my online persona separate to the one my family and work colleagues know. It would be easier if I didn’t feel the need to do that.

What does that mean for my blog?

Increasingly I have come to rely on prompts from memes to help me decide what to write about. These are great in giving ideas and the topics are usually such that the scope for creativity is wide. I am trying to read more widely around the sex blogging and writing community and again this helps with material (such as with this post).

But I think it is time to try to be more creative. It is time to write more posts based on me, my thoughts and feelings but that push the boundaries of who MPB is.  This requires time and effort, something that I am willing and able to give. Over the winter I would like to try to create 1 or 2 posts a week. Ones that are either fiction, are about more serious topics within the kink world or make me think about myself. It would be so good if one day I could look at my blog and worry that MPB was just too exciting. And that I, Julie had a love hate relationship with her creativity and smugness.

 

#SoSS – No 2

It’s been a busy couple of weeks so, while November was much better in terms of writing and posting, there is room for improvement. It has now been confirmed that rather than happening before Christmas, mum will move on 12th January. This means that the pressure is off and I will have more time for me and us in the run up to Christmas. I have loads of ideas for blog posts and want to join in on writing something for the Eroticon Anthology. I just need to crack on and devote time to getting things done. Now though onto the purpose of this post – #SoSS (Share our Shit Saturday) No 2.

MPB’s picks of the week

I can only imagine how difficult it must be to go through the writings of a sister who passed away a year ago. A wrote some amazing stuff on the blog she shared with M. I am so thankful that M is sharing some of A’s early work with us. I was particularly struck by this amazing post this week by Cammies On The Floor.

The Smut Marathon is something I would love to participate in, but am not sure I have the talent for. This is a 10 round writing marathon, which is being run and hosted by Marie Rebelle from Rebel’s notes. Probably time to just go for it!

Just as I was thinking about what posts to include, Molly from Molly’s Daily Kiss published this years Top 100 Sex Blog for 2017. I was thrilled to see that Kayla Lords is in top spot. Well deserved placings too for so many of my favourite bloggers. Maybe too, inspiration to actually write more so that some day I get nominated for something like this.

Mean time it also means that I can go and read some new blogs, since I don’t know everyone in the list. More material for next week’s post too!

 

Share our Shit Saturday #1

Why do this?

Over the past few weeks a new meme has emerged. Share our Shit Saturday is designed to highlight the great sex bloggers out there on the inter web and all of the amazing work that they produce. There is so much wonderful stuff to find – raunchy fiction, beautiful poetry and prose, amazingly skilful photography and serious posts about the future of sex blogging.

To say the mainstream social media such as Facebook and Twitter are not keen on helping to promote us would be an understatement. The latest effort to prevent those tweeting anything deemed explicit is Shadow Banning. Twitter prevents accounts it deems undesirable from being seen by those not already following. Therefore it becomes difficult to promote websites, books, films etc. As a pretty low volume, low profile blogger, luckily this hasn’t happened to me as yet. But many of the sex blogging and writing community are shadow banned.

And, that is not all there is to worry about. Ever since we attended Eroticon  earlier in the year I have been aware of the legal issues that are approaching. Myles Jackman, a UK obscenity Lawyer very eloquently explained the legal minefield we face in showing and describing acts deemed obscene.

It is weird to think that just because you enjoy sex that is a little more kinky than the norm. Just because you may call your partner Sir or Master like to be spanked you are in some way abnormal. But that is definitely the case.

For some reason there is an obsession about children and young people accessing literature and photos deemed pornographic online. There seems less concern about violence or about ensuring that our youth are well educated and prepared for life. Enabled to understand what a healthy relationship looks like. The same politicians proposing and then passed this bill have been exposed as sex pests and abusers. Apparently this is less dangerous to the young than exposure to online porn!

In April 2018 there will be a requirement to have an age check mechanism on websites and online platforms providing ‘commercial’ pornography. Everything I read about this makes me believe that this is a data breach scandal waiting to happen. Not only that, but in my experience young people are very savvy about how to get around rules. So I am not even sure these mechanisms will be enough to stop a determined teen. None of us want children looking at our blogs and websites, let alone commercial porn. But this isn’t the way to stop them and it feels that along the way we all might end up being vilified at best and criminalised at worst.

My reading recommendations

This week I have been reading around the subject. Pandora Blake provides an excellent over view of the potential dangers of age verification.

Many of my fellow sex bloggers and authors use Patreon to help support and fund their work. I have to admit that until this week I had little knowledge of  some of the challenges everyone is facing. It seems that moves are afoot to stop erotic authors, photographers  and film producers being excluded from this support. I discovered ErosBlog  this week as I tried to find out more. I highly recommend reading this and other posts.

So onto some of the bloggers that I love and respect and their posts this week that I have enjoyed.

Molly wrote an amazing post for the Wicked Wednesday prompt Geography. I am in awe of her creativity as a blogger and photographer. I love that she used the geography of husband Michael’s body as the centre of the post.

Ann St Vincent has the most amazing poor luck in finding the right kind of guy to date. As we know, many people lie about their marital status, about their readiness for a new relationship or just about the fact that they are only around for a quick fuck. I love Ann’s blog, she manages to keep cheerful while weeding out the dross from the downright dishonest.

Fondles and I have a long history of visiting each other’s blog, reading and commenting. She started her relationship with BIKSS at the same time I met S and there were some similarities as our journey began. Various life things got in the way and Fondles stopped blogging for a while. Now, though she is back with a vengeance and we have reconnected via our blogs.

Given the huge introduction to the topic, that is it for today. But I do plan to make #SoSS a regular thing.

ELUST #100

Photo courtesy of Wriggly Kitty

Welcome to Elust 100

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #101 Start with the rules, come back December 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

He’s Out of My League

Pink Hair, Don’t Care!

I’m a feminist but…

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Pain Sluts and Brain Squirrels

His Car Keys

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Raw

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Writing About Writing

Why Financial Disclosures Matter on Your Blog

Erotic Fiction

Caught
An American Werewolf in London
The Spider and the Fly
Faithfully
kitten

Body Talk and Sexual Health

Static
Over exposed?

Erotic Non-Fiction

Mirror Image
Return to Position, Part 1
One Present Moment
Edgy Morning
The Date-Aversary Continues
The Smell, Taste and Love of Chocolate.

Poetry

-01.11.17_18:26-

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Asking can be sexy too!
Soaring in Space
Age Play
MY PEOPLE, HER PEOPLE. The FemDom ball
Stroke of luck

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Adult Content on Patreon
Censorship on Share our Shit Saturday
#SSoS Sharing for the Win

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

#iTalkSex Why I Talk Sex
Radical Acceptance In Relationships
So… ghosting is an acceptable thing now
What giving a collar means to me

Blogging

Reflections on us and the blog

 

 

Elust 88

Housekeeping

The change in seasons seems to have helped renew my desire to blog. Well, that is what I am putting it down to. Dark evenings, nothing much on TV and little to do much of the time. Whatever the cause, I plan to embrace it. Time then for some housekeeping.

It is about 9 months since I moved my blog and became self hosting. I had chosen the theme a while back and the move was traumatic. So just getting things functional (with a little help from the webmaster @Domsigns) was sufficient. I knew that a tidy up was needed but didn’t have the strength, desire or whatever to get on with it.

This weekend though I bit the bullet and have spent most of that time and this evening sorting things out to my liking. There might be more changes, but for now they will be superficial.

Theme

Apparently this theme is called Twenty Sixteen, so a bit more up to date than Twenty Ten. At the moment I have inserted a photo of me in my collar complete with my slave pendant at the top. This might change if something better comes along.

Blogroll

I have removed some blogs where people have removed their site or haven’t posted for many months. Plus added in new places to visit. This is work in progress.

Sidebar

Rather than have pages etc.  at the top of the site, I have used the sidebar  to help navigate around useful stuff. Information about us and our relationship and my journey. Plus the memes I contribute to and other things I consider important. This is as much for me as anyone else.

Categories

After the move I managed to duplicate all of my posts (don’t ask me how) and then managed to strip out all of the tags and categories. This was demoralising. I had near on 5 years of blog posts at the time. I started going through post by post adding categories back in. But, since a number were about a previous D/s relationship and also the break up of my marriage it was a difficult job. What to do? Delete the old stuff perhaps? Trouble is, the things that happened in 2012 and 2013 define me as a person and as a submissive. The things that happened then have an impact on my relationship with Master. So I left them.

This weekend I started sorting the 100 or so posts that were left in ‘uncategorised’. Tonight I finished the job.

For now the housekeeping job is done. I am sure there will be more, but for now I am happy.

Short story for TMI Tuesday

For this week’s TMI Tuesday we have been asked to write a short story using a series of words. So, here goes:

Slowly she came too. Aware  of her dry mouth and throbbing temple. That last cocktail, she thought!. Opening her eyes she turned her head towards the clock; 8 o’clock already. Sunday though so it was ok. Closing her eyes again she listened to the sound of the rain outside. Driving, torrential, relentless rain.

Silence. Wait a minute, that wasn’t rain but the sound of the shower. She opened her eyes just as a man appeared from the ensuite. He leaned and kissed her “morning gorgeous” he smiled.

Suddenly memories flooded back. That last cocktail, with him……David. The discussion about Albert Einstein and whether people today would view him  as a genius or eccentric mad man. The subsequent kisses, the taxi to her place. Making out on the sofa, then bed.

She smiled and responded to his searching kiss,  his hand brushed her left breast and she felt the slickness of arousal forming between her legs. Another memory – olive oil. He had massaged her tits with oil. All in all a crazy night.

At that point her tummy let out an almighty sound. “hungry?” he asked with a grin. She nodded.” You have a shower, I’ll fix breakfast”.

Dragging herself out of bed she glanced briefly at her flushed face in the closet mirror and headed for the bathroom.

15 minutes later, she found him in the kitchen, beating eggs. Moving towards her, egg beater in hand he grinned. “How about an aperitif”?

Without another thought she dropped her robe to the floor, bent over just in time to feel the impact.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

 

Spent

We spent 6 nights staying in this lovely tower room. Formerly an art studio it still contains the remnants of that time. An easel, finished and part finished artwork. The natural light here is good, there are 3 or 4 large windows as well as a sky light if needed. The windows overlook the river below us and the historical city in the distance. Travel and art books adorn the shelves. The bed is high, comfortable and covered with a beautiful red covering, the sheets as previously seen are turquoise. I love the colour and the feel of that red covering. 

The end of a long, but fun day. We had enjoyed a leisurely meal, attended a concert and then shared wine, and cheese at the table in the room. As I prepared for bed, Master decided he wanted more orgasms from me. Taken just after midnight, the image shows me lying on the lovely bed, relaxed and ready for sleep. Spent.

Sinful Sunday

Reflections on us and the blog

We have been together for 4 years in February. By anyone’s judgement that is a proper, long term relationship. We still don’t live together, but tend to spend more time together than apart. When apart we Skype, so contact is daily. We have settled into a comfortable existence that is as much about ordinary mundane stuff as it is about kink and sex. To prevent this blog from becoming dull and boring, somewhere along the line I stopped writing so much. After all, who wants to read about us sitting on the sofa with a bottle of wine chatting about our next (or last holiday)? Time perhaps to reflect on our relationship and the blog?

Sex for us is often similar in the way it plays out and while far from boring, writing about it feels quite repetitive. We don’t play as much as we did for a variety of reasons. Time and our social life and holidays are part of the reason. Laziness might be a factor too. I wonder if my lack of blog posts is laziness too. Maybe I just need to get off my arse (as it were) and write stuff about us. I love to look back and see what we have done over time. I know Master does too. But if I don’t write about it then we can hardly do that!

I often post photos for Sinful Sunday that have a back story. Quite rightly, I keep those posts short since Sinful Sunday is about the photo. But rarely these days do I go back and fill in the gaps. This feels like a mistake. Take this photo, that I posted a couple of Sunday’s ago. It stands alone as an image, the beautiful colours, the light streaming in onto the bed and spreading across my face. Spread out naked, exposed. Clearly I didn’t take this photo (unless I used a timer). No one else is in shot, but I know that the other person in the room is responsible for me wanting to lie there naked. Still in the throw of ecstasy.

While we were away over the past couple of weeks our libido, missing for much of the year returned. That morning he had awoken and demanded I move to the edge of the bed so he could lick me out. The photo was taken many orgasms later. I don’t think we had penetrative sex that day, but as is often the case that didn’t matter. This is a happy sexy photo, which screams contentment. It occurs to me that my life with Master is good and deserves to be written about. I am planning to do much more of that. My November challenge for myself!

 

Time away

For the past two weeks we have been away from home. Last year we attended the first week of a classical music festival, this year Master decided we should stay for both weeks. Work is really busy at the moment, and with my mum due to move soon, I couldn’t take the whole two weeks off. So, I worked two days the first week and two days this. In between we have had a mixture of concerts, educational events, walking, eating, drinking, sleeping and sex.

Meal in one of our favourite restaurants

I have to be honest and say that often when we are away from home, we are so busy that we leave little time for sex. Often we stay in a hotel for a couple of nights and move on. We try to pack in as much sightseeing as possible leaving little down time. This trip, which wasn’t a holiday as such was different. The programme for the festival is very busy. But we didn’t want to attend everything, and even if we had we were sensible enough to realise that this would have been too much. You really can get too much culture.

So we have included some pleasant walks (though the weather hasn’t helped there), some leisurely meals in a couple of our favourite restaurants here. Plus some time just lying in bed, relaxing and having some very good sex. Quite a lot of sex, thank you very much.

The first few days were spent on the river

 

The M/s dynamic, so often in the back ground has been much more prominent. Master has been on top form and seems to have regained his libido. The problems I have been having with pain seem to be settling – this is definitely a psychological problem that I know I will over come.

This fortnight has made us realise that time together like this doesn’t have to be jam packed. That staying in one location for a more prolonged period is good, even if we wanted to do lots of sightseeing.

We return home today, happy and fulfilled in lots of ways. I can’t wait to start planning our next trip together. What’s more, I can’t wait to spend time together at home too.

The view from our tower room

 

What do you see?

Yesterday someone I have known since we were young student nurses together sent me a photo. In it I am around 18 or 19, young, slim and carefree. I can still remember being that person, and think I know what I saw when looking in the mirror back then. I have never been one to gaze at myself in the way people often seem to today. I use the mirror to check my hair, or to apply make-up (on the rare occasions I wear any). But I know that my face was unlined, I know that I possessed more freckles on my nose and face than I wanted to see. I know that my eyes were blue and I know that my nose was small and slightly upturned at the tip. This is still the case unlike the colour of my hair, which is no longer the shiny auburn it was then. No hair dye ever brings that colour back.

Mostly I feel the same as I did then. I don’t feel weighed down by the many years and experiences that have occured since then. Ok, so I have aches and pains that I never seemed to have then. My body is 37 years older after all. When I look in the mirror at myself I can still see that young girl somewhere, but she is much less visible. I wonder if I look the age I am, younger or older. It is so difficult to tell that about yourself. I think that I should dye my hair as there is grey growing at the sides and roots. I wonder if my eyes are less blue, though people tell me that when I wear certain colours it makes my eyes look really blue. Are my lips thinner and my face fatter? Probably.

But does any of this matter? I have a man in my life who tells me that I am beautiful. Who proclaims that when I orgasm I express pleasure through my face. A man who makes me laugh and with whom I am beyond happy. When I look in the mirror I see someone who is happy with their life. That is enough.

 

 

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked