Three’s company?

Over the past 3 years we have spoken a few times about introducing another person into our relationship for play purposes. We have discussed the idea of another girl who would play with me and who I would watch having sex with Him. We have also talked about me having sex with another man while he looks on. These things sound fun and sexy in theory, they are a massive turn on to us both. But I know from experience that talking and doing can be quite different things.

My one and only experience of group sex (two men and two women) was about 4 years ago when I was seeing S (you can read what I wrote at the time, it is in two parts, this is part 2). Looking back I can see that it was a fantasy of his and another thing to tick off his bucket list (I didn’t know he had one at the time, but later came sex on a picnic table and sex at midnight on new years eve to name but two). He found someone (a female) online and over the course of a few months we chatted as a three and as a four, plus she and I chatted together.
I have always liked to look at lesbian sex online, and do find it arousing, but have always questioned whether I would really find it so in real life (probably if you need to ask the question then you already know the answer). But I do find the idea of two women serving a man very thrilling, almost as exciting as two men wanting to use me at the same time. But a threesome was not what was on offer, and since I did seem to get on with both parties and since I liked the girl very much I agreed to go along with it all.
On the day in question we all met up in the bar of the hotel we were going to be staying in. They were a nice couple, but I was too nervous to be excited or turned on. After a calming drink us two girls went off to talk on our own and then agreed to go through with things. We helped each other change into some sexy lingerie and then joined the two men in the other couple’s room.
My memory of the next couple of hours is slightly blurry but my gut instinct was definitely right. I did enjoy watching them have sex – both the other couple and watching S and the other girl was a turn on. I really loved sucking her partner while S penetrated me from behind, and I enjoyed being touched by the other girl while all that went on. But I really didn’t want to touch her, or kiss her, though I did.
Funnily enough S and I are not really in touch with each other these days, but I have stayed online friends with the other girl and am even Facebook friends with her. At the time they told us their names were Sara and Darren, I guessed at the time that wasn’t his name, but only realised later that hers wasn’t Sara. Not that it matters but I do find it amusing that I was always Julie or Joolz.
So back to Master and I. Well I would do it all again, but think probably 3 is more than enough company for me. Generally I will do what Master wants me to do, and know that he will only ask me to do something I am comfortable with. A threesome MFM might be fun and maybe I wouldn’t even say no to a FMF arrangement, but I can’t guarantee to want sex with the other girl.

Why a woman might be turned on by the sight of another woman

The Other day, I read this article, which suggests that most women are actually either bisexual or lesbian. The article is based on an academic study, and I haven’t read the source of what was printed in an online newspaper. I say this, because working in healthcare as I do, I often find that what is contained in an academic research paper and what appears in the press can be a little different. Sensationalism is often the name of the game, with the press and media seeking to find the most shocking, exciting or even horrific finding and blowing this out of proportion.

But in this instance, taking the report and the headline at face value, has got me thinking. Just because I am aroused by looking at naked pictures or films of a woman, does not in my opinion make me lesbian or bisexual. What is more, even if I am turned on by seeing a naked man on screen it will not mean I will definitely fancy him in the flesh or want to have sex with him. A number of things can lead to me to become sexually aroused – a smell, a sound, a feeling, a memory and yes a visual encounter. But these things are often linked, rather than something that happens separately. For example, the sight of a woman touching herself may make me think of a situation when I was masturbating myself, or when Master was there beside me telling me to stroke myself. It isn’t the sight of the woman that arouses me per se, but rather the associated stimuli – the smell of my own sex, the knowledge that she might be doing this for her partner, the sounds that I suspect she might be making, the look of lust on her face. All of those things contribute to my own reaction. But put me in a room with her and that doesn’t mean that I wish to get up close and personal and to have sex with her.

Master often looks at porn photos and videos, and sometimes he will show them to me, hoping to make me aroused, which in turn makes him all the more turned on. It is true that he would love a situation where he watches me with another woman, I in turn would be happy to do such a thing. But I am reasonably sure that any arousal that I would experience as part of that event would be more about the knowledge that it was turning him on, rather than that I wanted sex with her for my own sake.

During my relationship with S, we had an encounter with another couple. It was a mad and crazy afternoon of fun and lust. I found the idea of the other woman immensely arousing, and when she was touching me, I was turned on. But it was the situation, not the person that made that so. In the same way, I was aroused when I sucked her partner when instructed to do so by S. They were fun and attractive people. He had a wonderful cock and while I was in the moment I was most definitely aroused. But it didn’t make me bisexual any more than it made me want to go off and have sex with her partner on our own.

In my opinion, there is far more to human emotion and sexual arousal than there appears at face value. To coin a research based phrase: there are just too many variables.

30 Days of Kink, Day 6: Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy

There is nothing weird about any sexual fantasy I have, indeed any fantasies are part of something Master and I share.

He knows that I am not sure that I really want to have sex with a woman; I am not bisexual but going on a previous experience I am willing to experiment. I get that when you are in a state of sexual arousal, it might not be important who is actually providing that stimulus. That knowledge predates any knowledge that I was in any way kinky. What is more, I am not adverse to trying new things, so long as I have a say in what happens going forward. I am also curious to know just how I will feel if I see Master having sex with another woman.

Looking back, my previous experience in this area is pretty hazy. It was the girl on girl part that i remain unsure about, but then the whole thing remains pretty surreal, since S, I realise now was trying to tick off a bucket list of things he might do before he got too old to do them. That particular weekend, when taken into the context of his driving a trebuchet at an English castle (which essentially involved running around a large hamster wheel) and enjoying the quirkiness of his chosen hotel, was pretty sedate. The other couple were involved in something clandestine, even after 20 years together and didn’t stay in the hotel for dinner, much less over night. What we enjoyed was interesting but somewhat fleeting. However she and I have remained in contact unlike S and i who have not.

I am open to more girl on girl. Also to the whole 3 way experience. But, like Master i believe that this doesn’t need to be part of any kind of long term, relationship. Indeed better (given our brush with polyamory) that there is no actual relationship with me and the other woman or he and her.

I am not gay, I am not bisexual but I am curious. He likes the idea of watching me and her and I like the idea of watching Him with another woman. We are both clear though that we don’t quite know what that experience for us in our relationship will bring up. But I think we are open minded.