Blogging A-Z Challenge: O

O is for orgasm

I love to orgasm, who doesn’t? When it comes to permission to cum, it is rare that this is not granted. More and more, I need to be told to cum before I can. This can offer some difficulties when alone. But then again I am not all that bothered, since I prefer him there. Self mastibation is not something I do very often these days.

The ratio of me to him experiencing orgasm during sex or masturbation is probably about 7 or 8 to 1 in  my favour. Possibly even more. Once he gets going with his fingers or tongue he loves to make me cum multiple times.

Unusually this holiday I haven’t had many orgasms, possibly 3 or 4 and he has had two. Unlike most people (I imagine), we don’t always have lots of sex while away. Something to do with how busy we usually are, I think. Time in bed is often spent sleeping and then we have to rush to get out to do or see something. This holiday I have definitely needed to catch up on sleep and for some reason my libido is a bit down right now. He though is feeling particularly horny and so is demanding more sex, but for him rather than me.

This morning the ratio was 1 to 0 in his favour. I  showered and came back to bed in the fluffy white hotel bathrobe. He asked if I would like to stroke his cock while he looked at some porn. I settled in next to him happily. A few minutes later though he said he needed to have sex with his girl. I removed the and not long afterwards as I stroked my own nipples for him, he came inside me.

I am sure though, that it won’t be long before the normal orgasm ratio returns. We head home on Thursday.

Orgasm control

Probably the first ‘rule’ applied to me as a new submissive was orgasm control. I was told that my orgasms no longer belonged to me, that they were his property and that I should ask permission to orgasm and that once I had cum, I must thank him and tell him that it was his.

I had read quite a bit about being a submissive by that time, and orgasm control seemed to be common place. What is more, S had required me to ask permission to cum when we were together, so this was nothing new.

Orgasm control with Master is a little different though. This isn’t about me feeling that I am about to cum and then seeking permission, this is about him demanding that I cum when, where and how he wants. Over time, and with training or conditioning, much like one of pavlov’s dogs, I really can cum at the moment he desires. He may be stroking my clit, he may be pinching a nipple, he may be deep inside one of my holes, or there may be no physical contact at all. But, when he says cum, I do.

I have long since stopped wondering how this can be happening to me, I suspect it is a form of conditioning as mentioned above. I love the control he has over me, that he can make me cum at will. It adds to the feeling of control that I know that he has over me and it makes me horny just to think about.

Occasionally he denies me an orgasm at the time I request it, but he is not very good at doing so for long. He truly loves me to cum and see and feel the juices that flow, to hear my breathing change, to hear me gasp, to see the look in my eyes. I love him for this; who wouldn’t? I know other submissive women are denied orgasms for prolonged periods, so I count myself extremely lucky.

For me, the advantages of having my orgasms controlled far out weigh any disadvantages. I recognise it as part of what I have ‘signed up for’ in agreeing to become his slave. It is part of the control, part of his ownership of me, my body and mind. Part of the power he has over me and which be both know we need.

I guess the only small disadvantage is that it means that when I am alone and I decide I need to cum it is less pleasurable than when we are together. I still thank him for the orgasm, and tell him it is his, but if he is not there to hear me say the words then what is the point. So, even though I am allowed, I tend not to orgasm very often when I am on my own. The feelings produced by my fingers or a vibrator are good, but they last just a few moments. I much prefer that he be there and that the control is overt and real.

For His pleasure

I haven’t written about my piercings very much, certainly not recently. But events this morning have had me thinking that perhaps I should say something here and now.

My nipples and clitoral hood were pierced in April last year. This was something I had considered in the past, but had not been brave enough to go through with. Having Him with me when I had the procedure done, and knowing how Much He wanted me to get those piercings was the incentive I needed. From the beginning they have been an amazing part of our sex life, giving both pain and pleasure to me and have enhanced His enjoyment of my body – in terms of power, pain, sexual arousal, to name but a few.

That is not to say there haven’t been one or two problems. The left nipple piercing was a little lower than the right and was always more painful. Changing jewellery was not without its issues and putting a ring in for the first time was complicated. One day, without me knowing the left ring partially fell out and I was unable to get the bar back in. For a couple of months I just had the one nipple pierce, but I am pleased to say that on our most recent trip to Amsterdam in November, I had the left nipple re-pierced. This time it looked and felt right and so far I have had no problems with it. Sadly this means that Master’s desire to link all 3 piercings together by a chain is still a little way off, but I am pretty sure we will get there.

One of the things both of us love, is the way in which I can ride Him and can use the clitoral hood bar to give pleasure to Him, of course at the same time I am getting something very good in return. He loves also to rub that bar while I grind on Him and bring me off.

This morning though He did something new for us. He used my nipple bar as foreplay for us both, rubbing the tip of His cock, slowly over it. gradually His cock became harder and harder. I contributed by biting His nipple, something He also loves. He used His other hand to stroke me some, exclaiming that I was wet (why wouldn’t I be?) and gradually He brought us both close to orgasm.

10, He started the countdown to the orgasm He was about to demand from His girl. Masturbating both me and Himself (how does He do that?), I felt the familiar feelings beginning to flow through me, 9, 8, 7, 6.

At this point I wondered if I would be able to hold off and if I did, whether I would be able to cum as He got to 1 and beyond. But the memory of that cock head on my nipple and the feeling of His fingers on me, brought me to the point – 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. He took His hand away and said CUM, just as my hips arched and I felt my cunt throb.

Shortly afterwards we brought Him to orgasm and I was able to claim a lovely breakfast time prize.

Sometimes the simplest things can give the most pleasure and this morning was one of those occasions.

His play thing

It had been a while since He had played with her and she had forgotten how much she needs such time. She stood naked before Him as He put tape around her to frame her breasts, then more tape across her eyes. As instructed she now lay on the bed.

He secured her ankles in the spreader bar. Though He didn’t restrain her hands, just having her legs spread in that way, was enough.

She listened to Him moving around and then heard the unmistakable crackle of the violet wand, closely followed by the sensation of it connecting with her skin and the smell of ozone. He combed her hair, stroked her arms, and then connected with the clamps on her nipples. She jumped. He connected again and she felt herself pulling away from where she perceived He might put the wand next. At the same time she relished the delicious feeling of tingling pain.

Her best friend the hitachi is applied, and she is granted an orgasm.

Next, and maybe this might seem bizarre, He shaved her bush. Since May, she has been growing the hair for Him. For the most part, since then, she has been taking care of it herself, growing it to His liking. Today though, He decided it was time to shape it, into a smaller triangle. For her, there is something erotic about lying on a bed, restrained and blindfolded while her Master shaves her in this way. She hears Him take the water away, and then a draw opening and closing. Suddenly He is flogging her – mainly the thighs; she cries out in pain. He brings back the hitachi and the pain turns to pleasure, or maybe the pain was pleasure? Who knows.

He tells her to turn over, on her knees, bottom in the air. Suddenly, immense pain – He has clamped her labia. She tells Him that this hurts, fucking hurts! Then more flogging, it is difficult now to know what hurts more, her reddening backside or the labia. Then there is the hitachi again. Damn that man for giving her just the right combination of pain and orgasm so that just when she thinks she can take no more pain it subsides into the distance.

Then the pain is over and she is on her back again. Unrestrained, all her senses returned to her. He is inside His toy. Taking her and also giving her what she needs.

Taking what He needs, but always, always giving.

Orgasmic

This girl was a late starter to the experience of the orgasm. Sadly she has been married all these years to a man who has never quite worked out his role in giving pleasure to a woman. for years this girl tried to teach him what he needed to so, but since she herself was a novice it was not surprising that she failed. For some time, before she discovered the value of Mr Rabbit, this girl experienced orgasms while asleep, during dreams and would wake up with her pussy throbbing. however this girl was in her 40’s before she experienced an orgasm given to her by a man. This girl had a relationship for a couple of years with a man who was unable to have full sex. For a while, the ability he demonstrated with his fingers, was pretty much all this girl thought she wanted. But as she began to explore what other experiences might be out there she knew that this wasn’t enough. The relationship with S, taught this girl something of submission, pain and humiliation and their relationship with orgasm. For the first time this girl began to understand the power of this phenomena and what it could mean for her general sense of well being.

This girl was allowed pretty much free range to orgasm at will with S. At the beginning of their time together, there was some control of this girl’s orgasms at times when they were not together, but this did not continue. S loved this girl to cum and did little to control orgasms even when they were together, though at times he did instruct her to hold back.

In reality the way in which Sir controls this girls orgasms may not be massively different to her previous experience. After all, Sir also loves this girl to cum and she is allowed to cum an awful lot. He knows that the experience of her orgasm puts this girl into a very good place and He feels that if she needs to cum she should. But it really does feel different to this girl.

Sir owns this girl’s orgasms and she must ask for them, unless He has already said that she may cum at will (which He does if this girl is not going to be able to speak or he expects she will need to cum lots). What is more he now tells her to cum and some how this girl does. Every time this girl cums, she must thank Him and tell Him that the orgasm belongs to Him.

Sir has been training this girl to cum at his will. To begin with He would count while he was stroking her, gradually increasing the number within that count. Then He started to just rest His hand on this girl’s pubes and demand she cum. For some reason it seems that this girl is able to cum on demand in this way in His presence.

But it isn’t just orgasm control or orgasm on demand that is very different. It is the way in which this girl feels that they contribute to her submission. How they help her focus on Him and on His needs, how they calm her and make her into His girl. Then how they help put her into subspace and how that then deepens her submission and makes her focus on Him and His needs. And so on.

This weekend, Sir has been given many many orgasms by this girl, when they spent two nights and a whole day yesterday together. This girl was also lucky enough to have been played with by Sir yesterday afternoon. She became reacquainted with the violet wand and the Hitachi. This girl was able to orgasm while receiving many different painful stimuli, probably assisted by a little bondage.  Over the weekend this girl has also experienced orgasms with her Sir’s cock deep inside her. These orgasms are definitely different from the ones forced with or without touch and those that occur with the use of the Hitachi.

This girl thinks she may be a little addicted to orgasms but then she is also addicted to her submission, especially she feels that state deepen. Perhaps also she is also addicted to Sir Graeme!

Looking ahead

This has been one hell of a week.

this girl started the week on such a high. As Sir and this girl discussed today,  she hadn’t been as happy for as long as she can remember.  The trip to France had been such fun and well, a time of rest and relaxation. Plus a time of multiple orgasm and cock worship. It was a special time for them both. The less than ‘south of France like weather’ only helped them to focus on each other. Sir and this girl had good food and wine. They visited great places; both of them sharing previous experiences of that particular part of the world.

It was a shock then that this girl dropped so rapidly. Not only that, but that by last night, she had fallen further than she thought could be possible. It would be true to say that she felt somewhat despondent? Should she give up on getting hubby to understand how she felt, should she even stop seeing Sir?

this girl did something she has never done before. She skyped with Sir when hubby was in the house. What is more, first hubby walked in and then he eavesdropped on the conversation. But to be honest (and only time will tell), the penny has dropped. Hubby now knows how miserable this girl is in the relationship she has with him. she is now both sure and determined that while this road still has a long way to go, at least they have moved forward.

So, tomorrow is Friday.

this girl has a weekend of happiness to look forward to.

On Monday this girl posted about her submission and was ready to talk about her orgasms for the next post. this girl had so so so many orgasms when she was in France and on Saturday and Sunday. What is more, Sir has been training this girl to cum at his will. With a great deal of success too, this girl might add.

It is sometimes hard for a girl to get her head around the idea that counting to 5, 10, 15 or 20 could have the final effect it does. That telling someone she is a good girl could have the results it seems to. But this girl has to say the results are amazing. this girl is very much enjoying the control Sir has over her in this area. this girl has much more to say on this subject, but thinks that it might be nice to tell the story when she is in a really happy subspace again.

this girl is looking ahead and knows that next time she posts here she will be in that place.

Journey page has been updated

orgasm control

i have willingly given up control of my orgasms.

Able to choose for myself, given free rein and feeling a little horny. If i was in the right place at the right time, i would usually go for it. Hell it is an extremely pleasant experience and what girl would turn it down? Especially if there were someone there to both offer and give.

Over the past weeks, since i gave up that control I have been offered orgasms which i have not taken up.

i am quite able to say no because under a more controlled existence orgasm is actually more pleasant. In the past, with no one to know or care i have used a vibe to give myself orgasm after orgasm without truly being fulfilled. Indeed self control is better – when seeing S, i often went a week or 2 after we had been together. The end result being far preferable and that without much if anything of control from him.

Today my orgasms are not only controlled but belong to another. Indeed, i am happy to rephrase and say: girls orgasms are controlled and owned by Graeme.

But mostly i don’t want or need them when he is not there.

The orgasm control we have been exploring when we are together is more that since he owns them he can dictate when i have them. I have to say that is beyond weird.  Though wonderful.

To begin with every time i felt in needed to cum he asked if that was what i needed and generally he would tell me to cum. Even if sometimes it meant holding back a little. This weekend as soon as i have either asked or he has sensed the need in me he has told me to come. Providing me with some assistance with his hands, on the clit, nipples and by stroking me more generally. Suddenly though, i found myself cumming, after he told me to cum, but with no additional stimulation. He was very satisfied with his work and i was both fulfilled and a little spooked. There is no doubt my orgasms with Graeme are heavily psychologically overlaid, indeed his ability to turn me on is. The way in which he can say certain things to me – call me girl or say something suggestive – releases the feeling in me that i am not far off. Then i am just a short journey to giving him what he wants.

He bought me a lovely present, which he gave me at the weekend and i have worn for the past two nights. He said (i think and hope) that i can give him an orgasm if i need to when wearing it. This morning i did. It is a while since i wore a but plug for any length of time and then it was more a training tool. Plus a stainless steel plug is a special thing, a thing of beauty. Wearing it makes me horny, as we both knew it would. Last night particularly i spent in a state of semi arousal all night. This morning as i lay thinking of him telling me to cum i almost, had the feeling i could have. Indeed it took just a short burst with the rabbit inside me to have the desired effect.

i am left thinking about self masturbation in a different way. Giving an orgasm to another, even when they are not there is really special and something i am starting to love.

Permission

It is a long time since i have needed to seek permission to orgasm outside of the bed room. Indeed for long periods of part 2 of the time with S i didn’t always ask when we were in the throws of passion – it depended on the context of the scene at the time.

While new D doesn’t own me in the full sense of the word, Saturday afternoon was clearly important in terms of the balance of power. i have gladly handed over ownership of my body and definitely my orgasms.
We were able to chat online last evening. We had something of a short scene in chat and also chatted on yahoo. All the time, hubby was in the room, dozing on the sofa. I haven’t been this bad in a long long time and have to admit a little bit of guilt. However that is by the by since this is not about my relationship (or lack of it with hubby) but about my emerging relationship with new D.
When i am getting regular sex, i don’t need to orgasm much on my own. But it has been a few days now and anyway chatting about sex and what you might like to do to each other is quite a turn on. So i sought permission and was granted it.
i have a new little vibrator, recently purchased at a high street lingerie and toy shop. This morning after hubby left for work i gave it a road test. This is how it looks, boy is it a powerful little thing! The best thing tough was being able to imagine being with new D and having him give me pleasure as well as knowing that even though he wasn’t there this was his gift to me. Of course once the waves of pleasure had subsided and was lying still i thanked him for that gift. That also felt good, as i know i will also feel pleasure when i hope he tells me i am a good girl.
………………………………….
There are complications to all of this. He does as i think i mentioned at the beginning have a long term and long distance Master / slave relationship. There has been agreement that while they apart they can both have another relationship. He has already handed day to day care to another Dom, though remains her owner. He seeks something closer to home for the time being.
There are several things for me to get my head around here. First is my understanding of their relationship which is very real and also M/s. Since my experience is around scenes and playing with your partner, this is something very different. Next there is the way in which the two of them are dealing with Him having me on the scene. Then there is my relationship with Him.
In a way, knowing that this is probably two people seeking something from each other in a time limited way is a good thing for me. I am in danger of falling for someone before i am really ready emotionally. But as we all know it isn’t quite so easy to control emotions, especially during the deeper more intense moments of D/s, such as we experienced on Saturday.
But for now, i retain my level head and am happy to proceed with just a little caution. Plus i am willing to hand over an important part of myself – access to my body and control of my orgasms.