His kinks and our plans

There are many ways in which we are on the same wavelength when it comes to kink. Being his owned slave is probably the main one. While I am naturally bratty and rebellious, I love the way that he takes control and keeps me within defined boundaries. I am at my happiest when the boundaries of our relationship are clearest to us both.

Pain as a way of him exerting control is important, but it is not the main thing. Control of our sex life, and the power it gives him is. He loves to catch me unawares and to suddenly tell me what to do – get on my knees, suck his cock, bend over, strip off. Whatever. He loves the gadgets of kink, the violet wand, the bindings and blindfolds. They have an amazing effect on me. I love the way in which he surprises me with new ideas, new toys. I love the control he has over me.

He loves tattoos and piercings.  He loves women to wear slutty clothes and to expose themselves in public. I have the piercings – nipples and clitoral hood. On occasion I wear something a bit slutty and am prepared to show myself to him in a public place.

Sometime over the past three years or so though we have settled into a comfortable place. We talk about more piercings, about tattoos. But they haven’t happened. In the main I don’t leave the house without underwear as I used to, and the times I expose myself in public has reduced in frequency.

Partly this is due to life – work, caring responsibilities, social life, being a middle aged couple (and any other excuse you might mention). In many ways, though it feels as though I have just become complacent and lazy. Also just a little tired as work and caring plus keeping up with our social life takes its toll.

A quick look at his Tumblr blog tells me however, that his kinky fantasies remain as they were. I have to admit they are mine too. I really do still want more piercings. I would love to walk around, knickerless with weights hanging from my labia. I would love to cut my hair as he really wants. I still want that tattoo. I want to be the slut he desires.

What I need to do is to take control of my life. Or to get into a position where he truly can take control of my life. We are still waiting for my ex to sort himself out. For he and his lady love to be ready to buy my house. We are close, but not quite there.

Meanwhile I really am planning my exit from work. Preparing myself, those around me and the work itself for that day. I have given myself a deadline of early March when I will hand in my notice. By then, my mum should be living nearer to my brother and be less of a burden to me. And I should be preparing to give myself to Master properly. If the ex isn’t ready by then, well something different will have to happen.

I want his kinks to be my kinks, but I need to make some changes here for that to happen. I have a plan, a real plan.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Blogging A-Z Challenge: P

P is for porn

I am not a massive consumer of porn and generally feed my desires through books, blogs, twitter and tumblr. For me the written word is as much as a turn on as pictures and videos. I don’t always need to see a visual image to be aroused by it. I love good erotic fiction, short stories on blogs or longer ones I can read on my kindle app.

Books and novelettes

There are so many wonderful erotic books around, thanks perhaps to kindle and other e-readers. Also, dare I say it to the mainstreaming of kink through 50 shades of Grey, though I only managed part of the first book myself. I particularly like BDSM related books, and prefer they are at least a couple of hundred pages in length. Fiction needs to be more than rich man meets young skinny girl and leads her into kinky ways. A kind of naughty Mills and Boone romance. More substance and realism is required. This means that finding a good read that is also kinky is a challenge, though not one that is insurmountable.

Blogs and twitter

Blogs were the medium through which I learned about BDSM, M/s relationships and kink in general. Kink related blogs led me to start my own almost exactly 5 years ago. I particularly like to read factual encounters and experiences, but also admire the great fiction bloggers write. Erotic photography is something I am quite new to, and have to admit that I enjoy looking at and taking some more pornographic photos. Master loves to both take and look at them too, and this is something we can do together. Participation in Sinful Sunday and February Photofest has certainly helped.

As I grow my twitter community, both in terms of who I follow and those that follow me, I enjoy it more and more. I love that I can find new blogs and websites through posted links.  Most of this is pretty soft porn though and is really what I prefer.

Tumblr

Some porn pictures can be quite a turn off, especially the really fake stuff on Tumblr. Women pretending they are tied up and gagged. Men in suits with some blond bit of stuff, naked between their legs. But with a bit of perseverance you can find some extremely raunchy and real stuff to view. Again I keep my porn reasonably soft, though towards the BDSM end. Restraint, control, impact play and submissive acts turn me on.

Sadly I don’t know how much longer I will be able to participate in this kind of pornography, since moves are afoot to make some of the things I like to read and view illegal. But till then I will continue to get my thrills the way I do.

harnessed

Last week I forgot all about Throwback Thursday, but this week I am on the case. Master loves to buy me kinky things to wear, and he is a lover of leather collars and harnesses. I know that this is at least a couple of years old because of the length of my hair. I am also pleased to know that I am back to a similar weight. Love to wear this again soon.

 

365 Questions – Day 37; Torture

If you could do today over, would you change anything?

Maybe I wouldn’t wake up at 4am having a night sweat – the misery of the menopause – then I wouldn’t have struggled to get out of bed this morning. On the other hand, maybe I would change the day from one that I had to work, to one where I was tortured like this………

Happy Anniversary

My 54+ years have contained highs and lows. In the main, the highs win over the lows. I am a half full rather than half empty person. I enjoyed a happy childhood with loving parents who tried to give us all that they could and two great but highly irritating brothers. Generally they hardly knew when they were well off – a sister who looked after them, ate their food to allow them to get down from the table, wrote their thank you cards post Christmas, told mum when they had hit her…….well maybe not that, but anyway.

My marriage was mainly positive despite his unfaithfulness, general inability to provide for his family and to make decisions. Plus the fact he was entirely absent during the first 3 years of my sons life. I guess that being a mother has been the main part of my life, before I met Master, when I have felt fulfilment. I make no excuse for saying that my greatest achievement in many ways has been producing and bringing up my son. He made me laugh when I was sad, he made me cry for mainly good and proud reasons. I am beyond proud of the young man he is now.
But when it comes to love and personal happiness the past three years top everything.
On 1st February 2014 I met the man who is now my Master. We had only been chatting online for a week but something about our interactions (plus the fact that we lived within 45 minutes of each other) made us decide to meet up.
The rest is history.
There is a lot I could write here, but much of this blog details our journey, the highs and the lows, not that there are many lows even if you were a half empty person which Master is and I am not.
Today, day 1 of February Photofest 2017, I am posting a photo that Master took of me waiting, ready for his use. Something that demonstrates the highlight of the life I now live as Master’s owned slave.
                  

 

365 Questions – 19th January

My curent favourite website is…..

There is no absolute favourite place. I visit a variety of places during a day, depending on what I am looking for: news, social media, kink.

I actively trawl my twitter account (@MPBjulie) to find new places to visit. I also have a personal account for work related stuff. Occasionally I have inadvertently cross posted, but I don’t think it has been noticed.

I do visit Facebook and have caught up with a number of old friends and also family through that particular medium. I am also embarrassed to admit that I crush candy and play one or two other games.

I read the news, looking at a variety of sites to try to obtain some kind of (often elusive) balance.

I have a number of links on my blog of places I visit and periodically I update and try to find new and interesting blogs to visit.

I visit tumblr too. But have to admit that I have to be in the right mind. I love to look at photos that depict a real kinky dynamic. Sadly they are far and few between.

Generally then, I have no real favourite place, but do love to visit and eclectic range of places. I love to keep my options open.

Finishing off the 30 days of kink

If there was one thing about myself that
I would love to change it would probably be to see things through to the end. I
am pretty good with ideas, and I am very good at starting a project. But I am
less good at actually finishing it. At work, I often find myself losing
interest if the going gets a bit tough or others aren’t as enthusiastic as me.
But generally because it is part of my working life and it is what I am paid to
do, I make sure that I push on to the end.
At home I am not always quite so
committed. If a book begins to get dull or isn’t well written I invariably give
up on it. If a blog post fails to look and feel right I might park it or even
delete. This morning I realised that while in 2015 I started the 30 days of
kink meme, getting to day 19, I never actually finished it. Since I want
to do some tidying up on the blog and move the 30 days of kink onto the meme
page, I have decided to get on and finish it off (rather than delete or leave
it unfinished. So here goes:
Day 20: Talk about something
within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand
There are a few things to be curious
about, for example how does it feel to be tied up in a shibari rope and
suspended above the floor? What would it be like to be flogged in public?
Equally there are things I am not keen on and don’t really get, for example
needle play – why would you want to do it and what pleasure would there be in
it? Still I never say never about anything, but I will never be first in the
queue to try needle play.
Day 21: Favourite BDSM related
book (fiction or non-fiction)
I have read a number of BDSM related
books over the years, both fiction and non-fiction. Indeed when I began this
journey, I found that they helped me to find out the kink that I thought I
might be interested in. Even with the contents of my kindle to hand, it is
difficult to remember all of them; some are much better written and more
believable than others.
In terms of fiction, I enjoyed the
Rescue Me Saga, written by Kallypso Masters which started with Masters at Arms & Nobody’s Angel  and
the Brie series, by Red Phoenix which started with Brie’s Submissive Training 
My first ever non fiction book was the New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet
W Hardy, which I still rate very highly.
Day 22: What do you think is
important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a
vanilla relationship?
A healthy relationship takes work by
both parties. Whether vanilla or BDSM there is a need for good communication,
particularly the ability to listen and understand each other. There is a need
to give and take, to care for each other. Some friends of mine once
said that a successful relationship needs sex, love and friendship in
equal measure.
The nature of a BDSM relationship means
that you also must respect each other, there must be trust and communication is
perhaps more important. It is difficult to know if the fact that we
talk to each other, consider each others feelings and respect each other
more than ever was the case with my ex has anything to do with it being a
Master slave relationship. We have come into this knowing what we wanted from
each other, and over time we have settled into a routine that suits
us.

Our lifestyle might appear vanilla to
some, but M/s and kink is never far below the surface of our life.
Day 23: Since you first developed
an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?
I have learnt that there is no right or
wrong when it comes to kink and that no two relationships function in the same
way. I recognise that I need to feel Master’s control over me, I need him to be
in charge. I increasingly find decision making difficult and that my preference
is for him to make them for me. That isn’t to say I am unable to function or
that I don’t make decisions for myself, it is just my preference. 3 years ago I
had no real idea what being a slave might mean. Funnily enough I thought I knew
about myself and my submission and about submission in general. But it turns
out I was and am still learning. As they say, you are never too old to learn,
or it turns out to change.
Day 24: What qualities do you look
for in a partner?
I
have never looked for a partner, or really been clear what I would be looking
for if I were. There have really only been 3 serious relationships in my life
and I have been lucky that all 3 have been with caring men. Now though I am
probably happier than I ever have before and that is because this man meets my
needs in so many ways. He is kind and considerate and my needs are pretty near
the front of the queue. He has a great sense of humour, and we laugh a lot. He
is intelligent, and well read and trying to keep up with him on any kind of
level stretches my own mind. He is perceptive and that means he is very good at
also stretching my body and my list of kinks.
Day 25: How open are you about
your kinks?
I
am not at all open with the vast majority of people partly because I don’t
believe it is their business and also because I doubt they would understand. I
don’t particularly want to be judged. However if someone asked me about it and
I felt that they truly wanted to know I would tell them. I feel lucky to have a
few friends who I can speak openly to, but in the main its just Master and I.
Day 26: What’s your opinion on
online BDSM play? 
I can hardly be against it since that is
really how Master and I met. On alt.com almost exactly 3 years ago we met in a
chat room, where there was lots of online play going on. I quite enjoyed it,
but always knew it was just a bit of fun. Some people take it far more
seriously, but then they probably aren’t going to meet the people they play
with in real life. We still used to visit the chat room once we had met, but
online play then felt a bit ridiculous and even though he hadn’t said that I
couldn’t play with other men, I really didn’t want to. Finally the chat
activities on that particular site changes and the rooms became less popular,
anyway our own relationship in real life developed to an extent that we no
longer needed to go there.
Day 27: Do your non-kink interests
ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?
Of
course, my life isn’t spent separating its various elements and doing one thing
at a time. The only area where there is no overlap is with work, and family
stuff. In everything else yes. For example we love to travel, and there are
lots of times when I will be dressed to please him and that will lead to some
kinky play while we are out and about.
Day 28: How do you dress for
kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?
Master has bought me a number of leather
outfits, a spanking skirt, waistcoats, and some harnesses that I sometimes will
wear for our play times. Other times I will be naked. It’s really up to
him in the main.
Day 29: Do you have a BDSM
title(eg mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, Sir)? What is your opinion of
these titles in general?
My title is girl. That’s what Master
calls me most of the time, only occasionally calling me by my given name.
Sometimes he will call me slut, or more often get me to call myself slut, or
whore or some other. I have no problem with any of these words or titles. It
feels ok when I say them and I guess I am just used to it.
Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related
thing you want to write about.

 

I
am not sure there is anything else to say and if anything springs to mind I
will add it in.

New Year Sex

This post was written on Monday, for Wicked Wednesday, however, I am currently without WiFi and am also unable open Rebel’s page. So am just posting it as an ordinary blog.

It was icy on Friday morning. Unusually I was working, but wanted to check into my slimming club to make sure that my festive weight gain was kept in check. As I dashed out after weighing in I went flying and landed flat on my back. I picked myself up and, slightly dazed walked a little gingerly to my car. There was no serious damage however, other than to my pride and luckily there weren’t many people around.

By early yesterday morning however, I was experiencing the full after effects – pain and stiffness in my back which while not acute was a little debilitating. In effect I struggled to turn over in bed and when I tried to sit up my tummy and back muscles decided to rebel. I was feeling about 90; what a start to the new year!
Master decided a back rub was in order and so I rolled onto my tummy and he began his work. He has a wonderful way of touching and massaging which is both relaxing and erotic. When you also have seriously knotted up muscles it is like you have gone to heaven. I could have laid there all morning. Suddenly he disappeared, returning with the magic wand. Applying it to my lower back and then gradually moving it around I settled down to enjoy the experience. Gradually my muscles seemed to relax and the aches and pains subsided (not that I had actually tried to move at that point).
Having finished this task he then decided to place the wand in between my legs. At this point I did roll onto my back and opened my legs to accept the wand onto my pubis and as close to my clitoris as I could get it. All discomfort in my back subsided as I felt myself growing wet, juices flowing freely. He counted me down an orgasm and even though he removed the machine before reaching 1 there was no stopping me. He asked what I wanted now, and I said “your cock”. He said that he would really like to take my arse, but felt that would be unkind as it would more than likely hurt. I was sorely tempted to offer it anyway, but knew there would have been little pleasure in it for me. He thrust into me as I lay in the missionary position and I wrapped my legs around him. He talked to me about the control he has over me and of the excitement he feels to be my Master.
I could feel myself creaming in a way that I don’t so often these days – blame the menopause – and for him that was even more of a thrill. He exploded into me soon after. Rather than settle into bed as he often likes to after sex he disappeared downstairs. Reappearing with two glasses of bucks fizz. Clinking glasses we wished each other a happy new year.
New year morning sex, a great start to 2017!