Worship and possession

One of the big things i have learnt over the past couple of years is that submission is about undertaking some level of worship of my Dom, physically and on another level emotionally. If someone has a body (particularly the manhood attached to that body) that is pleasing to the eye and to the touch then physical worship is quite easy. Who doesn’t want to kneel while she has her mouth around a large cock? Who doesn’t want to feel Him inside her. It is the emotional worship that is more important though. The submission for me is about that latter state and it is that which i think i have needed to learn and to understand.

At the same time, the Dom wants to claim the sub for his own. He wants her to worship Him physically, openly invite being used by Him. What better way than with his manhood. For Him also though it is about being worshipped and possessing her emotionally.
Last week, by concentrating on my needs my new Dom began that process. There wasn’t all that much in the way of cock worship, but by starting to own my body and my mind i began to see that i most definitely wanted to worship. Orgasm after orgasm washed over me and through the pleasure and pain i began to submit to him. We both knew that yesterday, date two, would be different. When i arrived i was already his possession, i was already in full submission mode. But he set about getting me to show how i would worship him.
His cock is large enough that it fills each of my holes. He made full use of me and it was good to be filled by him. It was the anal sex though that made me want to worship Him more, and made us both realise complete possession had taken place. He entered me from behind, with me lying on my side. He moved gently, then more quickly and roughly inside me. As is often the case these days my orgasm which was already close began to build; a fully penetrated arse does something serious to my senses and i can pretty much cum without much other stimulation. For a long time after this we lay together. Him very hard and long inside me, and me completely fulfilled by the possession that was taking place. We talked, he tweaked and squeezed my nipples and from time to time stroked my clit. But the over riding thing was the presence of his cock inside my most private place. We both know he wanted to stay there as long as possible so that i knew that i was His, that i was owned by Him.
When it came to taking Him in my mouth later, the feelings of worshipping Him and that wonderful cock almost overwhelmed me. I was able to take Him deep in my throat and to give him the pleasure He wanted.
I guess this means that I do belong in the Cock Worshipping Society.

Play it again Sir

One of the nicest parts of a day (or night) with Sir is the ability to prolong the effect by discussing the events online. Last night we spent some time doing just that; exploring how each of us felt when we were doing different things and replaying our reactions to those feelings. This is one of the ways that this relationship is very different to any other i have had before, another is the extent to which Sir examines my expressions as he applies different stimuli to me. He is also open to discussing the effect that then has on him, and the pleasure that gives him.

One of the main things we talked about last night was the relationship between what he does to my nipples and the effect that has on my clitoris and pussy. He told me he loves to watch the expression on my face as first prepared my nipples for the clamps, then applied them. He is not really into giving pain, but is loving the wonderful effect just the right amount of pain has on me and my submission. As i become more aroused i spread my legs that bit wider, i am just that bit more his submissive slut and that for him is the biggest turn on. This was most evident for me when he tied me to the tree. i was then unable to move my hands or arms, but as he applied more stimulation to my nipples i was inclined to open my legs wider for him as i felt the orgasm begin to build inside me. This morning i have found this article which confirms what i have always believed about the link between a woman’s nipples and her genital organs.

One of the other things we discussed (again) was how i am progressing in my ability to take his cock in my mouth. I think he is pleased with my progress because he was able to get pretty deep without me gagging which is real progress. We talked about maybe another day and another tree, where he might tie me in a good sub position where i am at the correct level to take him so that he can perhaps complete this area of my training. I am definitely up for this.

Of course the other big thing we discussed was the disused picnic table. The fact that it put me at just the right height for Sir. The fact that i needed to lie right at the edge (though he was impressed that i thought his cock was longer than it is). The fact that for the first time i was able to lie on my back for anal; a first time for me and actually the best position so far. I think from Sir’s comments it was pretty good for him too!

We talked about meeting at this place again – Sir lives 2 hours away in good traffic and currently doesn’t have a car – during the summer. I like this idea very much!

A day in the great outdoors

Yesterday fully lived up to my expectations and more. For some reason sex outside is one of the things i have always wanted to do. It would be true to say i have previously indulged in some masturbation with a male friend in the past, but nothing on the scale of what Sir and i got up to yesterday.

Having dropped hubby and his friends at the races for their own day of gambling, drinking and observing the Queen i headed off to a railway station a few miles away to collect Sir. On the way, i stopped as instructed and put on my stockings and suspenders underneath my summer dress. Amazingly i managed to put on seamed stockings, with the seam straight while sitting down! Driving with my skirt around my waist (as instructed), stocking tops showing, i felt conspicuous but found it something of a turn on. Sir was most pleased when he got in the car, giving me a taste of what was to come by stroking my pussy and clit and finding me already wet (predictable i’d say)! He then put on my collar to signify that we had begun the day.

Sir had done his homework and navigated us to a car park on the edge of some woods where i was instructed to suck sir’s cock and received some very nice foreplay. Sir helped me off with my bra and then out came the nipple clamps, which he applied before we trecked off into the woods in search of a secluded spot. This particular area is a great place for walking with our without your dog, mountain biking, horse riding, picnicing (you get the picture), but people stick to the paths and within minutes you can be in an area that people are unlikely to come across you. We found such a place and settled down with our rug, picnic and supplies. Sadly it was a bit chilly to completely strip off, but it was that secluded that i would have.

The next several hours were spent doing some very nice and some very naughty things. Sir spent a very long time exploring how he could give me pain in my nipples and then bring me to the edge time and time again. This was done in all positions and also tied to one of the trees. It culminated in a very big orgasm which i can’t even quantify. He then applied the clamp to my clit and played with my nipples then fucked me giving me the best orgasm i have ever had during penetrative sex. There was also food, sir as usual had bought some very nice things for us to eat and we also had some lovely time just kissing and holding each other.

As the afternoon drew on we packed up and took a trip around the pathways to the car (not by the most direct route) and several times sir stopped us to either suck his cock or for him to touch various parts of my body which was easily accessible to him in a loose fitting dress with no underwear.

The finale occured in an area containing a picnic table whch looked like it hadn’t been used for food for a very long time. Probably because it is situated in an area that you are unlikely to find (unless you are the kind of explorer Sir obviously is). This is the place then that Sir chose for us to have our final anal sex of the day and boy was it good? Last time, a tummy problem meant i was unable to enjoy anal sex with sir, but yesterday i really enjoyed it. As i get more used to the sensation and am able to relax into Sir’s wonderful cock i feel i am getting closer to being able to cum myself while sir is inside. Sir said himself that he could tell i was close and wondered if i was going to ask to cum. Not quite but maybe next time.

So that was the day in the outdoors. We drove off to a local pub and drank coffee in the garden. i went off to the toilet to make sure i looked presentable and to put my bra on (i needed it by then as my nipples were quite sore and sensitive, as they still are) and then we headed back to the station.

I had a great day which completely lived up to my hopes and dreams and which will stay with me always.

The morning after the day before

Yesterdays events almost feel like a dream. Except that i am feeling a little weary (could be put down to the long period of time spent driving as much as the activities in Master’s house), but i do feel very satisfied.

The maids outfit was great. i really did enjoy wearing it and as someone who is quite tall , and who doesn’t usually wear heels except for a night out, i loved walking around all day in them. i could get used to them too! i also reveled in the fact i wore no knickers all day. i loved the fact that Sir could touch me anytime he wanted and touch me he did, lots and lots. What was quite amusing was that i was dressed as a maid, but it was Sir who made me breakfast and lunch, coffee and tea. Sir was adamant that he wanted to do these things for me; he knows that at home i do it all and he wanted me to sit showing myself to him while he got things ready rather than me waiting on him. i loved sitting with my legs open for him while he got on with these domestic tasks.

But it wasn’t all about sex. It was about us getting to know each other. It was about talking about our lives, our children, our families, ourselves and what makes us tick. Sir can certainly spin a tale and he has been to some amazing places, done lots of jobs and i am really interested in hearing all about these things.

One thing that is clear to me is how relaxed i feel in Sir’s company. i have rarely been able to let myself go quite as easily, to forget real life and to focus on another. Perhaps this is the submission and the way in which i am learning to embrace it. i am also loving Sir’s cock in a way that i haven’t been able to appreciate a cock ever before. Maybe this is why i am so happy to have this cock in my mouth when i have usually been less keen. This is another skill i am learning and think i could probably become quite good at, and gladly so.

So this weekend joolz will be going round with something of a smile on her face as she does her usual chores. Good memories are a wonderful thing and can stay with you for ever, i sure hope they will!

Joolz loves anal sex

This a complete revelation to me. Today was my second meeting with my Master and i have discovered that i really love to be fucked in the arse. Anal sex brings me closer to orgasm than vaginal sex ever has and that is a fact.

i had to get up early to get to Sir’s house. i took pride and pleasure in dressing in fishnet stockings with suspenders a black and white skirt and white top. No bra, no knickers. The journey was pretty good, very little traffic so i made it to the service station Sir had instructed me to stop at within 2 hours. A trip to the loo and the butt plug was in and i used my rabbit to turn myself on while chatting at the services with Sir.

Sir had croissants and coffee waiting. i sat in the kitchen on his stool while he served breakfast. Of course he couldn’t resist touching his wares. Sir has a wonderful touch, both with his hands and mouth, what more would a girl want?

i have had the most wonderful day with Sir.

Sir has used me in many places within his house and in many different ways. Sir has looked after me, cared for me and taken me for a walk along the seafront. Sadly the weather didn’t live up to my requirements but never mind!

Sir fucked me in the arse twice, once when i had my wrists tied to my ankles. i loved it. i have pleased sir so much he hasn’t punished me yet. But there is always next time. i never thought i would find anal sex so wonderful, so erotic. But i do. when i sort out my head i’ll say more!

Learning the emotional and psychological aspects of submission

Over the last couple of evenings i have been chatting to a Dom i met in a chat room about the deeper meanings of the D/s lifestyle. He is younger than i am, but has years of experience and a wealth of knowledge. He and i have been engaging in a deep discussion about the person i am now, what i am not happy about regarding myself now and where i need to get to. He has suggested that i record a journal about all of this, and this blog will be that journal. i am going to be creating a separate page on this blog for the record i will create and we will see how we go. i already have some thoughts on the subject of ‘who i am now’ and ‘the person i will be’ but i haven’t yet put pen to paper or whatever the online version of that it.

i see that we are beings made up of body, and mind. We are not two separate people and one affects the other. Attending to the body without considering the mind will not lead to fulfillment of any kind. The guy i have been chatting too seems keen to attend to my psychological education and well being. He is much too easy to talk to but since we are anonymous to each other there is nothing but good that can emerge as far as i can see it.

i am under no illusions about the relationship Master and i are developing. It is mainly sexual and given that sex has been pretty much absent from my life in any meaningful sense for a long time i am not going to let that worry me. i have to have fun while i am learning. But i am recognising that this isn’t just or even really about sex. i know that i am on a journey and the master i have now won’t suit me later. So dear reader, watch this space (or one near by).

New blog for a new lifestyle

Over the last few weeks I have been exploring the possibility of following a new lifestyle. The lifestyle is BDSM.

This is not a new interest, indeed I have fantacised for years about being with a man who would dominate me, I have wondered about new and different approaches to sex, have thought about bondage and being restrained, I have wondered about a different erotic me who dresses differently and indeed is different.

I am a married woman. My husband is not only vanilla, but generally he has little interest in sex with me (or anyone else) for that matter. We have grown apart sexually though we have a reasonable life in other ways. I do not know what effect exploring this new way of life will have on my marriage except that I forsee some difficult decisions being required before very long. You see I have already done something since deciding that I want to move into the BDSM lifestyle and this has involved the best and most erotic sex I have had in my almost 50 year life. I have found a Master to serve and this blog will hopefully chart my journey as I progress. I am sure not all times will be good and certainly I am already battling my own concience. You might expect nothing more from me!