Blogging A-Z Challenge: B

B is for Butt Plug

I feel compelled to write about this humble device since I have been remiss in its use. Over the past months year or so, I have probably worn either of my two plugs a handful of times. This is in contrast to the agreement we have which states I will wear a plug for two nights a week.

I own two metal njoy plugs. I love the cool, smooth feel of the metal. The arousal that often floods over me as it is gently pushed past my anal sphincter and into place.  I love the feel of heaviness, particularly the larger one. The fact that I am aware of it as I move around or turn over in bed. Then there is the knowledge that this plus will keep my arse ready for Master when he decides to make use of me.

If I love the feel of my plug, why don’t I wear it? The answer is probably one of general laziness. Of being unorganised during the evening so that it is no longer part of my routine. The result though is that I seem to have lost something of my body’s readiness to accept him. Recent attempts at anal sex have been unsuccessful. Part of this seems about being able to find the right position, and something about Master’s erection. But in the main, it has to do with my lack of preparation.

I have realised that if we are to enjoy this element of our sex life going forward, I need to reintroduce the butt plug to my routine. I need spend some time, after clearing up from dinner to preparation for the night. After all, it isn’t that there isn’t time during an evening where I am alone in the house.

B is for Butt Plugs and I need to rediscover mine.

This girl and the plug

When things between Master and this girl were becoming a little more serious, in the summer of 2014 He introduced a contract. He had noted a few thoughts down on paper (He is a man of lists, so it probably was on paper) while He was visiting His then slave. Perhaps the fact He made this girl a slave and started the contract while still visiting helped to inform what happened next.

The contract, which He shared with this girl shortly after His return and which was agreed with one or two small changes has been in place for a while. But, as has been alluded to before, over time, one or two elements of that contract have kind of gone awry.
Funnily enough there are a few things that have stuck firm. For example, this girl feels no need to take over in situations where she doesn’t need to, she is mindful of the need to make Master proud of her, even when He is not there to see what she is up to. She loves it when He takes control of tickets and passes, which is good as sometimes she is a little scatty and prone to lose things. She also enjoys Him choosing and ordering meals for her and there is no problem in calling Him Master or indeed Lord.
But there are two areas where she is often lacking. One is in using the word I to describe herself and the things she will or has been doing and the other is in wearing her butt plug as she should when they are apart.
During this month of March, this girl is going to set about making some changes in both areas. After a weekend of reconnection in terms of Master and slave, this girl wrote this post, reaffirming a desire and determination to refer to herself in the way He demands – This girl.
That evening, for the first time in a few weeks she inserted the larger Njoy plug.
Over the past few weeks, this girl has taken to having a bath on a Sunday evening. Unlike taking a shower, she has been reminded that it is a perfect way to relax and prepare for the week ahead. Feeling warm and happy after soaking in the bubbles, and enjoying whatever book she is reading, this girl gets into her pyjamas spends the rest of the evening watching tv, blogging or reading some more. It seems to be helping her sleep and to be ready for work on Monday.
On Sunday, as stated above, she slipped  pushed the plug in straight after the bath. It has been a while since she had felt the relief and then pleasure of easing it past her anal sphincter and experienced the short period of coolness as the metal rested inside her. Soon, the feelings of arousal began and without touching herself she knew her pussy was becoming moist.
Wearing the plug is intended to be a way of helping this girl remember who and what she is, when she is apart from Master. It is also intended to prepare her for anal sex when He demands it and since she knows He wants and needs that from her soon (and she needs it too) wearing the plug more often is a must.
On that occasion she kept it in place for several hours, until she got up in the night to pee and felt that she might not get back to sleep if it were still in place. Tonight the plug is there again. She has removed her underwear and as she types this blog, can feel it filling her and can also feel the gentle throbbing of her cunt at the same time. This girl is pretty sure that Master would be very pleased to know she is what she is meant to do and that it is having this effect upon her!

The plug

Master has bought this girl two NJOY butt plugs – smallish and largish. Of all of the rules that appear in this girl’s contract, wearing the plug as required might be the thing she complies with the least. This is not because she wishes to be disrespectful or disobedient, but because if the context within which this rule was introduced and the sheer speed with which this girl’s life progresses.

When the contract was agreed, this girl was part of a three way polyamourous relationship in which she was a minor player. The primary slave was experiencing problems in her ability to trust Master in His relationship with this girl and in coping with their own long distance relationship. At times this girl struggled with the ending of her own marriage, the imminent death of her father and then being part of a polyamourous relationship.

Fast forward a year or so and the situation is different.

This girl’s marriage is over, all but the divorce. This girl’s dad has passed away and while there are ongoing problems in supporting her mum and the wider family that aspect of life is, in the main, less stressful. The other woman is no long part of Master’s life.

So, that thing – the butt plug – which used to help this girl cope with so many difficult situations – is not required for that reason.

Of course it is useful in keeping this girl’s body ready for Master’s needs. But somehow, that has also become less of an issue.

Last night though, this girl had something of a melt down. Work and mum stress got on top of her. She struggled to work out how she could fit Master’s needs into that scenario and acted out.

Yes, there was brattiness. Yes she wined and moaned.

Master’s response, other than talking her round over Skype was to suggest Instruct her to insert one of her plugs.

This girl has to report that the impact was pretty much instantaneous. The stressy feelings began to recede and she began to see things more clearly.

A side effect however was, that at 3am when this girl got up to go to the toilet, she needed to provide Master with an orgasm – He wasn’t there, but the rule is, that so long as she tells Him afterwards she is allowed to cum in such a situation.

Damn it, He is right. That plug is beyond useful and needs to be worn much more.

 

Submission and the plug

This girl snuggled up to Master as He read her blog post. her hand stroked His cock and felt it harden. That post was about her submission, a statement of the ways in which she feels that her needs as His submissive are growing and deepening. It was written after two pretty intense sessions on Friday night and Saturday morning, and now on Sunday He was able to see that this was written from her heart. That post was about her understanding of their relationship in the here and now.

In that post, this girl spoke of their discussions about a tattoo, and also about her hope that one day she would wear His collar.
Now on Sunday afternoon, as this girl stroked Him, they looked at some steel collars together. He said He had been thinking that He wanted to buy a collar and maybe a steel cuff for her wrist. He began to pinch and stroked her pierced nipples and then sometime over the next few minutes she was naked, and sucking His hard cock.
For the third time that weekend this girl found herself riding Him. Found herself expressing herself in the slutty words He loves to hear, while He encouraged her to release herself to Him. Well when girl says encouraged, perhaps it was more like those orgasms were ground from her. Whatever, submission overtook her and she felt His power flow through her.
Later, when she had been offered his gift orally they spoke about this coming weekend, time away from home.
This girl promised to wear her plug much more, so she is ready to take Him during that time.
Last night she wore that plug all night and intends to wear it again tonight. This is the one rule that she hasn’t really been following as she should and it is one thing she intends to put right.

Friday – Highs

This weekend has been a bit about highs and lows. But in this post, this girl thinks she should just concentrate on the highs. Maybe tomorrow, or later in the week, she will feel the need to discuss the lows. But right now, what good would that do?

This girl has had a long, three day, weekend. The whole, 4 day working week thing is just what thing girl needed. Even if, as happened this week, she doesn’t get as much sleep as she would like, this girl is still able to catch up pretty quickly. Plus there is the advantage of having more time to do the chores around the house. Even better, is the fact that on her day off, a girl can have lunch with a friend and spend the afternoon and evening with her Master.
This girl loves the fact that she has met such wonderful people since discovering her submission. People like my lovely girlfriend, who i lunched with on Friday. Never before has this girl had someone who she can tell everything to. Plus in return receive some amazing and pretty unbiased advice. It is also lovely to see this girl’s friend growing as she is, exploring new things, building friendships and actually having fun on the way. That of course what life is about, surely.
Then off to meet Master. To visit a London gallery that both excited and depressed us both in one go. This girl loves how Master has the knowledge about art, history and art history. But, it is clear that at times we are equal in our knowledge that some London galleries and museums are bizarre in the way they think ordinary people want to view the artwork available. Of course, this girl is naive in her knowledge, but has, over the past couple of years spent a lot of time wandering round these places and instinctively knows when things are right or wrong. Master is not naive, so it is good to know this girl’s instincts are generally on the right track.
After dinner, we headed back to Master’s place. It is important to note, that since the whole ‘no luggage in Lisbon’ thing, this girl can now just travel ‘avec tooth brush and hair brush’ and stay over (though face cream is going to be added for the future). Also, glasses are also carried (contact lens solution now resides at Master’s house).
Back at His house, He gave this girl a new and to be frank, expected, toy. A new Mr Steel Butt plug. What is more, this is a serious plug, two sizes larger than the original!  (one that this girl wears as she writes this post). It was a warm evening, so without any instruction this girl stripped off (obviously that was the only reason).
The world cup is still in action, so Master used the opportunity to watch the football and also play with His girl. This involved demanding several orgasms with, from what this girl can remember, minimal effort on His part – a touch here, a pinch there, a slap here, a suck there. Then he took that very large plug and pushed it into this girl’s cunt. At the time, this girl considered, that if it felt like it did in her cunt, what would it feel like inside her rectum; now she knows.
The football was of course interesting, but to be frank, an early start, a full cunt and multiple orgasms, relaxed this girl to the extent that she had a snooze during the second half. But once this girl and Master retired to bed, she was much more alert for the wonderful time they both had. This girl drifted to sleep again, one hell of a happy girl. On such a high.

orgasm control

i have willingly given up control of my orgasms.

Able to choose for myself, given free rein and feeling a little horny. If i was in the right place at the right time, i would usually go for it. Hell it is an extremely pleasant experience and what girl would turn it down? Especially if there were someone there to both offer and give.

Over the past weeks, since i gave up that control I have been offered orgasms which i have not taken up.

i am quite able to say no because under a more controlled existence orgasm is actually more pleasant. In the past, with no one to know or care i have used a vibe to give myself orgasm after orgasm without truly being fulfilled. Indeed self control is better – when seeing S, i often went a week or 2 after we had been together. The end result being far preferable and that without much if anything of control from him.

Today my orgasms are not only controlled but belong to another. Indeed, i am happy to rephrase and say: girls orgasms are controlled and owned by Graeme.

But mostly i don’t want or need them when he is not there.

The orgasm control we have been exploring when we are together is more that since he owns them he can dictate when i have them. I have to say that is beyond weird.  Though wonderful.

To begin with every time i felt in needed to cum he asked if that was what i needed and generally he would tell me to cum. Even if sometimes it meant holding back a little. This weekend as soon as i have either asked or he has sensed the need in me he has told me to come. Providing me with some assistance with his hands, on the clit, nipples and by stroking me more generally. Suddenly though, i found myself cumming, after he told me to cum, but with no additional stimulation. He was very satisfied with his work and i was both fulfilled and a little spooked. There is no doubt my orgasms with Graeme are heavily psychologically overlaid, indeed his ability to turn me on is. The way in which he can say certain things to me – call me girl or say something suggestive – releases the feeling in me that i am not far off. Then i am just a short journey to giving him what he wants.

He bought me a lovely present, which he gave me at the weekend and i have worn for the past two nights. He said (i think and hope) that i can give him an orgasm if i need to when wearing it. This morning i did. It is a while since i wore a but plug for any length of time and then it was more a training tool. Plus a stainless steel plug is a special thing, a thing of beauty. Wearing it makes me horny, as we both knew it would. Last night particularly i spent in a state of semi arousal all night. This morning as i lay thinking of him telling me to cum i almost, had the feeling i could have. Indeed it took just a short burst with the rabbit inside me to have the desired effect.

i am left thinking about self masturbation in a different way. Giving an orgasm to another, even when they are not there is really special and something i am starting to love.

In the zone

Sir believes i have little trouble getting into the right frame of mind for our times together. He might be right, but then we usually have a pretty long lead in. This time well over 2 weeks. But for someone who leads a reasonably busy but mundane and responsible lifestyle i welcome the opportunity. It is not that i am spending every waking hour thinking about what is to come, but it would be true to say that i have spent a fair amount of time either zoning out of what i am meant to be doing or as i like to think of it, getting into the zone.

We have chatted online each evening this week, discussing, as you might expect, what might happen at the weekend. Tonight, and we haven’t spoken yet, i am pretty much as near the edge you can be. It has been a cumulative effect. Discussions about what i will wear, what i will bring with me, what will happen as soon as i arrive. Then Him encouraging me out of my semi nun like celibate lifestyle into orgasms before sleep and on waking. Last night i asked Sir if i should perhaps wear my butt plug before Friday at some point, he of course agreed.

I put it in shortly after getting home from work, and am wearing it now 4 hours later.

There is nothing like being filled like this, i find, to put me in the zone. i cannot move, walk, even sit without considering Sir and how much i desire to be with him. I know that this is the main reason  i feel as i do right now but it is a wonderful feeling. i know though, that tomorrow without the plug, as i take hubby to his stag weekend, as i sit at might desk working, as i take son to his train to spend his weekend with graduating friends, as i shave, shower, pack then drive. I will be just a short finger or tongues distance from the most amazing orgasm. Of course i also know that before i get that i will be on my knees showing Sir who i am, and where i belong.

i love being in this zone.

Back Sunday!

(Picture by Paul Mcaulay)