Struggling

Kink of the week is about struggling against restraints which had me thinking about this photo taken while we were in Amsterdam a couple of years ago. Master left me hogtied on the bed while he went to have a shower.

Generally when I am restrained during sex or play, rather than struggle I find it relaxes and makes me feel in some way free. I am restrained and so there is no need to fight or to move. The exception is when he is coming towards me with the violet wand in his hand and I can see it (i.e. I am not blind folded) particularly if he is using a light bulb on the end of it. This was a trick he picked up at a workshop at BBB on the one occasion we travelled up to Birmingham for the event. I find the concept of being buzzed by the static from a light bulb immensely scary, though it is erotic when it touches your skin.

But being restrained while you are being tortured is one thing, just being left is something else entirely. On that day I really did struggle against the bonds, much to his amusement. The position was uncomfortable, my head got stuck in the pillow and I wasn’t sure what was coming next. Then I heard the shower and knew I was in for at least a few minutes of being in that position, what was more since he was in the shower, complaining was useless. Mind you of course I did complain, while I struggled and that just made me more uncomfortable.

Master’s response when he emerged from the shower was that when I lay on the bed and allowed him to tie me up, I should have faced the TV and then I could have used that as my distraction! You have to love his humour at times!

R is for ……….

Restraint and relaxation

It has been an amazing revelation to me that being restrained gives me such a feeling of freedom. You would imagine that having your movement restricted would make you want to rebel and break free, but generally this isn’t the case. Master often starts by putting my ankles in cuffs and then attaching them to a spreader bar, before moving on to wrist restraints. A calmness seems to engulf me as I await whatever is next. Usually some kind of penetration (one or both holes),  and then painful stimuli. The violet wand, floggers, paddles etc. Added to that, perhaps the hitachi to force an orgasm or six.

The restraint though is the key in these circumstances. The ability to just absorb the sensations seems to be possible because I am unable to move. Somehow it allows me to embrace my submission and to face it head on. To relax and to enjoy (even if I don’t know I am enjoying it at the time).

Given the photo below though, it is difficult to understand how I find restraint quite as I have described above. Somehow though it just is.

 

We both value the ability to relax in each others company. We have busy lives – for me, work is hectic at times and then I have family responsibilities and for us both we often lead a busy social life. We value the downtimes though and have found that we can be comfortable together doing our own thing – reading, browsing, researching (him), sewing (me), listening to music – often time passes without a need to speak, just time to enjoy being together and to relax. Something I am looking forward to this coming weekend.

B is for……..

Bondage and Blogging

Today, I get to catch up as Sunday is meant to be a day off from the A to Z challenge, hopefully it will mean I can write a couple of posts to get ahead of myself too.

Kinky.com defines Bondage in this way “The “B” in BDSM, bondage is about allowing another person to be in control of your pleasure. Some people believe that the delayed gratification involved in bondage and other BDSM activities can make for a more powerful orgasm. Bondage can involve anything from handcuffs, blindfolds and basic restraints, to ropes, gags, sex furniture, and even cages.”

I had had little experience of bondage before I met Master. S sometimes tied me to his bed with a few neck ties or scarves, and also used them as a blindfold and once he tied me to a tree which was fun. But Master has some more serious pieces of equipment to do the job. I have discovered that being restrained, having my legs in a spreader bar, being blindfolded helps me to relax and focus on what is happening to me. It is a way to escape the realities of every day life, and to concentrate on him and what he is doing or wants me to do. I find the restraints somehow help my mind to slip into its slutty and horny place where I am aroused just by the very feeling of the restraints. Not being able to see what is going on raises that level of arousal, so that every touch of my skin, gentle or otherwise is anticipated and then embraced.

The photo above was taken when we were in Amsterdam. Master hogtied me and then went off for a shower. He always maintains that if I had laid on the bed in a different direction I would have been able to watch the tv which was turned on. I can’t say that being tied like this and left is altogether pleasant, as it stretches the body in ways it doesn’t usually experience. But there was something very horny about being restrained and at his mercy. Plus I love the resulting photo.

Blogging


I started The world of joolz, the forerunner to this blog in April 2012, but had blogged on work related topics for a good 7 or 8 years before that. In fact, I used the work blog for an assignment during my Masters as a way of reflecting on my practice / work. I had never been good at keeping any kind of daily diary, but enjoy that with a blog, you feel that you can write about anything you want, you can use it as your place to visit, write and embrace the occasional feedback from others. It isn’t always easy to remember what happened and when, or how you felt at the time. The past few years have been a journey which has involved a series of life changing events, and I like the fact i can look back on them.

I told Master about my blog soon after we met, rather than running the risk of him just finding it and I am glad I did. It does mean that I do consider what he will think when he reads my posts, but I try to write openly and honestly. However, other than him, I try to just write for myself and not for a wider audience, although it is difficult to do that all of the time. Having said that, recently I have joined in with quite a few memes and enjoy the feedback that brings.

For the future I would like to try some fiction as well as writing about myself, Master and my life. I admire fellow bloggers who write such wonderful stories and plan to have a go myself very soon.

 

Exposed

Master has a way of surprising girl during play. On this occasion it was with the clover clamps that He applied to her labia. They were very painful and it was hard for girl to remain still. From the look of this girl’s bottom, Master had also spanked her; it is often difficult to remember the exact order in which things happen.

Master was obviously very pleased with this view, since He photographed girl and has posted this photo on His own blog. This girl feels very proud that He has!

 

February photofest – Day 7 – What happened next

A lovely day in Amsterdam, dinner and drinks. Back in our amazing room we relaxed in the large jacuzzi bath, sipping champagne. There was also some kinky fun in the sauna and then more fun in the jacuzzi. Such is the romantic live of a submissive, that the next morning, this happened:

Balance

This weekend has been about trying to get some kind of balance in my life. I say the weekend, but actually, I include Thursday since it was the last day of a week’s leave and Master and His girl managed some play time. The days since Thursday afternoon started with Master restraining and blindfolding His slave, inflicting pain via the violet wand and then forcing many orgasms from her. It ended with afternoon tea with my sisters in law, nephew, nieces and lovely baby great nephew. In between, there has been a working day, dinner out, kinky sex, downtime together, time with  mum, dvds on the sofa, sleep (lots of sleep) and  a spanking.

I don’t think, in all reality my life has ever been busier, or more interesting. I have more fun now than I ever had.

In the past year, I have had more sex than ever before during my life. That is tricky for a fifty something to acknowledge, but better late than never.

As we approach the end of the year, it feels time to look back and forwards. To acknowledge how far I have travelled and how far I want to go.

The key will definitely be balance. How to find sufficient time to be on my own, to be with Master, to work and to be with family.

This blog has been a little neglected recently, but the first step to the above will be to work through all of those elements. To consider the here and now and the future.

Perfect weekend

It feels hard to believe that it is very nearly December, and that we have to start to think about Christmas. In one way, the past two months or so have sped past in a kind of blur of activity. But it has been a tiring painful time. Having my mum in hospital for the past two weeks has been challenging, but thankfully she is now recovering at home, and fears about a more serious disease than pneumonia (though that is serious enough) appear unfounded.

Master decided that we should have a weekend away and go somewhere that His girl would unwind and where we could both be pampered. That place was a lovely and pretty luxurious hotel in Amsterdam, a place with suites where you get a jacuzzi bath, sauna and steam shower in your room. A place where such wonderful luxury can lure a girl into thinking that she is with a regular romantic until He hogties her and then leaves her while He has a shower.

My overriding  memory of the weekend is one of relaxation and pampering. Sipping champagne in the jacuzzi, going down on each other in the sauna. Apparently there was a list of things of which along with hogtying me on the bed were included.

We also explored the City of Amsterdam a little, though mainly in relation to eating and drinking. This wasn’t a tourist type weekend, it was one of indulgence. One which for me was perfect and one to look back on with pleasure.