Squirting

The events of the weekend seem to have reignited my desire to blog, reminding me that I still have stuff to say. Sunday showed me that, whatever else happened we still have the M/s dynamic. I am his slave and want him to be proud of me. So, for the first time in ages, I am writing my third blog post in a week.

This week’s Kink of the week is about squirting, or female ejaculation. This is my topic for today.

Until about 4 or 5 years ago, I don’t believe I even knew it was possible to squirt. After all, at that time, I was still an orgasm novice. Unless that is I was making myself cum. Generally most of my experience had been through clitoral stimulation, my preference at the time. My reading around this subject tells me that female ejaculation tends to happen through G spot stimulation.

S explored all of my body,  attending to my needs as no one had before. He was keen on providing multiple orgasms in a variety of ways. Looking back sex with him followed a specific pattern, often starting with me sucking him and ending up with penetration of some kind. But along the way there were orgasms for me. I think (and my memory grows vaguer as time progresses) I may have once squirted for him. Well, lets say there was a feeling I may have peed myself, though I know I hadn’t. He told me I had squirted and I believed him.

With Master there is no doubt I have come close. Many many times, I have had the feeling I am about to release fluid, to squirt. But for some reason it doesn’t happen. I am often very wet, when he is forcing orgasms from me. Often many orgasms over a short period of time. When he overstimulates my body, while I am restrained and blindfolded. When he is fucking me. When his fingers find my g-spot and make me feel I might explode. But the fact this hasn’t happened over the past 3.5 years makes me wonder if I ever did squirt. If the idea was put into my mind by someone who wanted it to be true, but that it is a false memory.

Anyway does it matter? Isn’t being aroused to orgasm multiple times enough? Do I want or need to squirt for him? Probably not. Though I know that it is something he really would like to happen. Since it is not a conscious act it is not something I can make happen and I think for both of us there are more important things in our lives. Things like a loving relationship, a good sex life, our power exchange dynamic and the fact that he turns me on like crazy. I think that’s enough.