Always a glutton for punishment, I have decided to give the Blogging A-Z challenge another stab. I don’t plan to keep to a particular theme. We will be away in France over Easter and so, there is every chance that travel, food and wine will feature. But where possible I will focus on kink related stuff. So here goes.
A is for arousal
There are changes going on in my body that I struggle to understand and cope with. Other that the hot flashes and night sweats, the menopause hasn’t really been so bad up to now. As someone who suffered from PMS and painful periods for many years it has been a relief. In general I have had pretty much the same amount of energy and I have been able to manage my weight (kind of).
But over the past few months there have been subtle changes. I have more aches and pains, and less energy. Arthritic knobbly bits are forming on my hands, which I think I will now need to see a doctor about. Insomnia is a feature of my life as my body temperature seems to swing from freezing to boiling in 5 seconds flat.
Worst of all though is my libido which seems to have disappeared. Right now, I don’t always seem to become spontaneously aroused when Master touches me. It isn’t that I am not aroused by him or his fingers. But that my body doesn’t respond in the way it did. His favourite time for sex is in the morning, but if you haven’t slept well but feel you now could the impulse is to brush him off. I have to fight these feelings and focus on him. To allow myself to feel the arousal that still exists deep inside me but which struggles to free itself.
Master is a thoughtful and considerate lover and thankfully he understands me. He doesn’t force me to do what I don’t want to, but luckily he does push me. The power dynamic probably helps since he doesn’t take no for an answer and allow me to just push him away. But time and a little effort on his part as well as encouraging me to concentrate on his body usually has the desired effect.