Recollections of the past

A couple of weeks ago I installed a widget that allows random posts from your blog to be reposted to Twitter or Facebook. I had noticed it on a few people’s twitter feed and since I have almost 5 years worth of posts I decided to try it too. Every 12 hours or so a new tweet, with a link appears on my twitter feed. Yesterday this one cropped up. It was liked and retweeted by eye  and then commented on by Rebecca. How strange then that this week’s Wicked Wednesday is about recollections.

That the post entitled ‘Relationships’ was written in March 2013. At the time I was going though a lot of trauma with my ex. He had recently found out about my relationship with S and was pretty keen to point our my shortcomings at every opportunity. When, that is he wasn’t telling me how much he loved me and that he didn’t want to lose me. When I brought up his own infidelity he told me that something that happened 20 years ago didn’t count. The trouble is that the hurt from all that time ago, had never left me. Writing in a bit of detail about being cheated on as a young wife and mother helped put things into perspective.

Infidelity is not something to be taken lightly. We made a promise to each other in front of family and friends. A promise that we would love, honour and cherish each other. I never imagined that he would break that promise quite so quickly. Especially as in the aftermath he pretty much told me I was frigid and boring in bed. More recent events have proved that not to be the case. Embarking on my own journey took some guts, and all of the time I knew I was being unfaithful. I knew that if he every found out, then he would be devastated and so he was.

But the interesting thing about the recollections associated with this post is this. In March 2013, while he continued to make me feel guilty and to try to get me to dump S, my ex was already seeing another woman. They had met at Christmas and were in the early stages of their current relationship. The wronged man was already in another’s arms. For months after that he pretended that he was spending much of his time staying with a male friend. I believed him because it was easy to do so and because I was preoccupied. The man was a liar hypocrite in the early 90’s when I found out about that first affair and still is today.

For the most part I try to look forwards, looking back doesn’t always help. Sometimes recollections of the past can help. My words from 2013 certainly have done that today.

 

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Author: Julie

50 something woman, exploring life and enjoying new adventures. This website is a record of a journey from vanilla wife and mother through two new relationships. This woman is now a collared slave called MPB and is owned and controlled by her Master. A mixture of true events and memes it is often of a sexual nature and is not safe to view at work. Next things to try will be fiction. Watch this space.

4 thoughts on “Recollections of the past”

  1. This made me think of my mom and dad and how my dad had a girlfriend very early in his marriage with my mom. She had self-confidence problems for years, all because he told her back then that she was not good enough. Still, she stayed with him for almost 20 years…

    Like you say, sometimes recollections of the past help… because they help us to see how happy we are today.

    Rebel xox

    1. It is sad that we can be so affected by the unkind things people say to us and that we still stay. I completely agree, the past helps to guide our future, but we mustn’t focus on it exclusively. Otherwise we might miss out on happiness. xxx

  2. Hi Julie! First, I wanted to say thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting. Your comment bright me here to learn from you and you’re right, our tales sound so similar.

    I agree, looking back can be helpful, but I think only to see how far we’ve come. After all… We’re not going in that direction…

    1. Thanks for visiting me too. I completely agree, the past is useful for helping us guide the path forwards. But it is important to keep focused on the future.

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