They used to say that life begins at 40. I beg to differ. Over the last year of my 30’s I lost weight in a vain attempt to make myself feel something special about the coming decade. Often though I would look in the mirror and see the same unhappy, often asexual being, someone while 2 stones lighter looked no more attractive. Well that was how it felt to me. A great birthday celebration was planned, and while the family came together and my husband arranged a lovely meal and surprise hotel stay I was suffering from food poisoning. Something I had picked up on holiday the week before.
As my 40’s wore on I had the feeling there was something missing in my life. My marriage, which looked happy on the surface felt like torture. I was deeply unhappy. In 2009 when I was 47 my son went off to university. Although happy that he had been able to follow his own dream, I felt the empty nest he left behind intensely. I looked at his father, my husband of over 25 years and wondered how much longer I could keep up the facade. In the late summer of 2011, just after my 49th birthday my son travelled to the US to spend an academic year abroad. Little did I know that by the time my next birthday had arrived I would have found my kinky and sexual side.
50 was a turning point for me. Suddenly I was brave enough to put myself first after years of prioritising anyone else but myself. I followed my gut instinct and tried something new. Yes, I took a risk but it paid off for me. The end result is the life I have now and the one I will have in the future.
I am now 54 and have never been happier and people tell me I look it . I have managed to find a balance between family and what I need for me. I have a new man in my life who offers me the fulfilment I never even knew I needed.
50 is a massive milestone in life, most people are over half way through their life. It is a time when we must face our own reality as we begin to lose people around us, including perhaps our parents (I lost my dad in my 50’s). It is also a time of hope as our children grow and become independent. A part of my life began in my 50’s, and hopefully will continue into my old age.
Finally I want to wish Marie Rebelle, a happy 50th birthday. Things might be more difficult that she would like right now, but I know that her 50’s will prove to be the continuation of a wonderful journey of discovery and self fulfilment. Happy Birthday!!