Life has been busy.

Work has been busy.
Sometimes my mum winds me up. Other people wind me up; namely my lazy younger brother and my ex (though thankfully not at the same time).
But what has occurred to me over the past few days, as I have taken time to reflect, is that I really am a much calmer person these days. I really don’t get particularly stressed or worked up. I would go as far as to say I am essentially a calmer person than I have ever been in my adult life.
Maybe it is age, or experience? Maybe though it is about me as a person who has let go of control of so much of her life that the things that remain feel less of a worry?
Don’t get me wrong, I have my moments. But to be frank, nothing winds me up in the way I could be guaranteed to get upset about before.
The constant presence of the collar and cuff remind me always that I am Master’s slave and that He has particular expectations of me. So often, sometimes without consciously thinking, I consider what He might think about my behaviours and actions. Some might think I am conditioned after over 2.5 years together, but I think it is more that I feel safe in this relationship. I feel wanted, loved, needed and desired. He has expectations of me and I want to make Him proud of me, of the person I am when we are not together. We are a team, we function well together and we help keep each other in check.
We have an understanding of each others needs and these days I am perhaps better at articulating when I need more control and He is better at recognising that need. At the same time I am better at recognising His needs in my service to Him.
We both recognise the need for more play time, more kink.  But this relationship isn’t about the kink, we are a Master and slave partnership. We install calm in each other.
We have travelled a long way and hopefully are months away now from being together full time. That thought fills me with more joy than I can say.
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About Julie

50 something woman, exploring life and enjoying new adventures. This website is a record of a journey from vanilla wife and mother through two new relationships. This woman is now a collared slave called MPB and is owned and controlled by her Master. A mixture of true events and memes it is often of a sexual nature and is not safe to view at work. Next things to try will be fiction. Watch this space.
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4 Responses to Calmness

  1. Bleue D'âme says:

    That physical reminder of the collar and the mental trappings along with it, definitely has for me at different times, instilled that sense of calm. Or, I learned to not care about things that He didn't care about.

  2. abby says:

    Love this post, you have come a very long way, and your journey has led you to a place where you belong…smiling:). I was nodding while reading this, knowing that Master is in charge and has proven to me that HE is here for me (HE worked hard at that), has produced a much happier and calmer me.
    hugs abby

    • Julie says:

      Thanks abby, you are right. I have come a really long way, and to be honest I am only just recognising that fact. i love that our journeys are so similar 🙂 xxx

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