The Other day, I read this article, which suggests that most women are actually either bisexual or lesbian. The article is based on an academic study, and I haven’t read the source of what was printed in an online newspaper. I say this, because working in healthcare as I do, I often find that what is contained in an academic research paper and what appears in the press can be a little different. Sensationalism is often the name of the game, with the press and media seeking to find the most shocking, exciting or even horrific finding and blowing this out of proportion.
But in this instance, taking the report and the headline at face value, has got me thinking. Just because I am aroused by looking at naked pictures or films of a woman, does not in my opinion make me lesbian or bisexual. What is more, even if I am turned on by seeing a naked man on screen it will not mean I will definitely fancy him in the flesh or want to have sex with him. A number of things can lead to me to become sexually aroused – a smell, a sound, a feeling, a memory and yes a visual encounter. But these things are often linked, rather than something that happens separately. For example, the sight of a woman touching herself may make me think of a situation when I was masturbating myself, or when Master was there beside me telling me to stroke myself. It isn’t the sight of the woman that arouses me per se, but rather the associated stimuli – the smell of my own sex, the knowledge that she might be doing this for her partner, the sounds that I suspect she might be making, the look of lust on her face. All of those things contribute to my own reaction. But put me in a room with her and that doesn’t mean that I wish to get up close and personal and to have sex with her.
Master often looks at porn photos and videos, and sometimes he will show them to me, hoping to make me aroused, which in turn makes him all the more turned on. It is true that he would love a situation where he watches me with another woman, I in turn would be happy to do such a thing. But I am reasonably sure that any arousal that I would experience as part of that event would be more about the knowledge that it was turning him on, rather than that I wanted sex with her for my own sake.
During my relationship with S, we had an encounter with another couple. It was a mad and crazy afternoon of fun and lust. I found the idea of the other woman immensely arousing, and when she was touching me, I was turned on. But it was the situation, not the person that made that so. In the same way, I was aroused when I sucked her partner when instructed to do so by S. They were fun and attractive people. He had a wonderful cock and while I was in the moment I was most definitely aroused. But it didn’t make me bisexual any more than it made me want to go off and have sex with her partner on our own.
In my opinion, there is far more to human emotion and sexual arousal than there appears at face value. To coin a research based phrase: there are just too many variables.