I guess in truth I didn’t know until just 3 or 4 years ago, and yet, I did. I recognised I might be different from other people. In my 20’s I wrote stories that were kinky. Stories in long hand about the kinds of things I might like to be done to me; they involved threesomes (men and women), and often they were more about orgasm than penetration. But they were probably less about kink and more an indication that my sex life wasn’t what I needed. It was just that I didn’t actually know what I needed, let alone what I wanted.
There was a TV channel in the 90’s that hubby watched called Men and Motors, the latter was about cars but the former was often about far more than topless girls. Hubby was very interested in this channel! Sometimes there were programmes which showed (usually) Dommes and their male submissives, but also some interesting ventures into understanding female sexuality (not that the men watching understood that (I would think)). I remember seeing a fucking machine on one of those programmes, and while I told hubby I was disgusted, I was secretly intrigued and at the earliest opportunity looked them up on the internet. Maybe that and some of the other things I saw and read at that time helped inform some of what has become of my life now.
But you know life is about more than smutty TV programmes aimed at men who are looking for more in their lives. But there was a point just over 3 years ago, when I explored more online and was more than intrigued by what I read.
It turns out I am kinky and while I didn’t expect life to turn out this way, I am really glad it has.