In my last post I described my frustrations at what feels like my inability to take that final step to rid ex-hubby from the house and my life. Of course, he will always be around to some extent, we have a son and of course there is the small matter of the house and the divorce.
This morning I have taken one further step and have cleared his remaining things from the bedside cabinet. Next week I will ask him to start to clear out the wardrobe and drawers. It seems that what he has left behind are things he rarely if ever needs / wants so hopefully it will be a case of putting things into bags and taking them with him or sending them to a charity shop or something.
This morning Master and I have been enjoying parts 2 and 3 of a session that began last night and which I will blog about later. But during my more lucid moments I was struck by the thought that actually everything in my life is different to how it was. Different in a very good way.
I have gone from being a woman who gave herself plenty of orgasms, but craved a loving sexual relationship to go with it. That woman felt unfulfilled despite a successful career and being a wife of getting on for 30 years and the mother of a bright and popular young man. That woman felt something was missing.
The person I am now is still that woman, but she is happier than she has probably ever been. I now know who and what I am, a sexy and erotic woman who just happens to have discovered the slave side she didn’t know about. At last I am fulfilled. I still get to enjoy plenty of orgasms, since although they no longer belong to me, Master loves to take them from me. I am no longer frightened of any aspect of sex, and enjoy doing things I previously avoided (such as cock sucking). I have discovered my inner anal slut and find that I am not embarrassed to watch Him masturbate or He to watch me. My inhibitions, built up over many years have tumbled down.
So when I get frustrated and upset that I am not getting to the end point with my ex that I feel I should, I need to remember just how far I have come and how happy I really am.