Three years ago today I wrote my first post on this blog (well the world of joolz, but this is a continuation of that place).
I was a married woman, taking her first faltering steps towards that forbidden place – the adulterous relationship. In this case a kinky one.
To be honest, looking back, I don’t think it was really a great way to go about things. After all, in order to have my few hours of fun every week or two I told lies, a lot of lies. I told them to lots of people, including myself. But even though it might not have been a perfect route to freedom, it was difficult at the time to see a different one. Life on my own seemed scary and I wasn’t entirely sure back then about what I wanted.Back then everything I brought to the blog was new – the experiences with the man who I called Sir and sometimes Master and my feelings about this new lifestyle I was embarking upon. Over the past 3 years there have been some amazing high points – mainly the ways in which I have discovered myself and who I am. Then I was a sexual novice, an almost 50 year old with very little experience. The sexual me has emerged and I am able to enjoy sex like never before. This voyage of discovery has led me to places that I never knew existed, let alone thought I might want and enjoy.
So here I today with a life that is infinitely better than it was then in almost all ways. I suppose that means that the end justifies the means? Well perhaps. If I hadn’t embarked on that first relationship with S then I wouldn’t be the kinky person I am now. He offered me some great training in not only in becoming the sexual being I now am, but he helped release my inner slut and made me into the exhibitionist I am.But in BDSM terms it has been the past year where most has happened. Master saw in me a potential pain slut, a slave who needed to submit to the right man. He has trained me to meet His needs in the way He wants. He has shown me who I really am and what I really need.
In general terms He has helped me to extract myself from my marriage, to cope with the stresses which have accompanied the death of my dad and its aftermath. I in turn have helped Him manage the break-up of His own long term, long distance relationship. I have found a man who I truly love and who I believe loves me too. Right now, I think that is all we both need.
This blog continues into its 4th year.