Feelings of guilt

I have been so self absorbed recently, seeking to find happiness and fulfilment. Then knowing how Sir’s departure would make me feel I went off to France and while I did fun things and house maintenance that needed doing I was just thinking of myself.

But now I am feeling guilty. My dad is really unwell and my departure left them alone – one brother on a trip to Mexico and the other working – and they had to manage some really terrible difficulties with his health.

What kind of daughter am I? How can I call myself a nurse? How can I treat my own family in this way.

This has got to stop. I must get a grip and if that means leaving Sir and my submission behind for a while that is what will have to happen.

It might be my lack of a night’s sleep speaking – don’t you just hate the feeling that you have had a lovely deep sleep to find the clock has moved about 20 minutes since the last time you looked.

But I know I must concentrate on some very important things right now. This illness is going to take my dad from us and I really do need to sort out my priorities.

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Author: Julie

50 something woman, exploring life and enjoying new adventures. This website is a record of a journey from vanilla wife and mother through two new relationships. This woman is now a collared slave called MPB and is owned and controlled by her Master. A mixture of true events and memes it is often of a sexual nature and is not safe to view at work. Next things to try will be fiction. Watch this space.

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