30 Days of Submission – Day 6

What do you feel are the roots of your submission? Do you think it has something to do with childhood? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else?

i am the elder of 3 children (i have 2 younger brothers). i think if anything i was dominant of them, rather than submissive to them. The elder brother had a slight stutter when young and i am told i used to help him out by speaking on his behalf (i know that isn’t a help, but it certainly seemed like it at the time). The younger brother is almost 6 years younger than me and i kind of mothered him. i loved taking care of him and taking him places. Even as i became a teenager i took him with me on days out (including when i first got together with hubby). There is no way i was particularly submissive at home.

When hubby and i moved in together and then married, it wasn’t any kind of discipline or submission that made me develop the desire to take care of my new hubby, i just liked to do it. i remember taking whole days to clean the house and cook food (oh how young and keen i was, oh what a home maker). It was only later that i realised that i had created a rod for my own back. That even if i wanted him to do things i couldn’t unless i ranted and raved and even then, not always. i am the doer, the decision maker, even down to deciding what we will have for dinner. i often long for this not to be the case.

What i do know though is that i had to work hard on my confidence, particularly at work. People consider me to be able and confident. I believe though that i haven’t got that way without working at it. Keeping up that act is hard work, as is doing everything for someone at home. i long yearned for a release, some way i could be someone different at least some of the time.

The submission i have discovered with Sir has provided me with that. It gives me the opportunity to give the responsibility for decision making about certain things to someone else. That i find liberating.

The other big thing for me is the extent to which submission is a sexual turn on. Being restrained, being told that i am a slut or a whore, kneeling, bending over to be spanked; the list feels almost endless. The humiliation part of TTWD, i think is one of the big part of my submission and is most definitely sexually liberating for me. To dress in a way that has been dictated, but which i would not usually entertain. To do things in a public place that would normally be carried out in privacy. Those things give me a massive sexual thrill, and because they turn me on, Sir finds them arousing and pleasing. This then adds to the pleasure of submission and so on.

RSS
Follow by Email
Facebook
Google+
http://masterspleasingbitch.com/2012/09/30-days-of-submission-day-6-2/

About Julie

50 something woman, exploring life and enjoying new adventures. This website is a record of a journey from vanilla wife and mother through two new relationships. This woman is now a collared slave called MPB and is owned and controlled by her Master. A mixture of true events and memes it is often of a sexual nature and is not safe to view at work. Next things to try will be fiction. Watch this space.
This entry was posted in 30 days of submission and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to 30 Days of Submission – Day 6

  1. beingaisha says:

    So we come to this from different paths, and yet it amazes me how similar we are. The tendency to provide care to others is a huge theme too, i think. Makes me wonder ~ again ~ if part of the pay-off of TTWD is the assurance that those efforts are recognized and appreciated…

    Interesting thoughts here – thanks for sharing them!

    aisha

  2. Joolz says:

    Thanks for your thoughts aisha, I have to agree about having our efforts recognised and appreciated. that might partly be what has been missing from my life. Jx

  3. abby says:

    I also find this an interesting take, one I never considered before, but I think has much value!
    abby

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *