Lazy Sunday

We are away this weekend. We have come to a town on the south coast of England with the purpose of seeing the musical version of the Adams Family. Not being people who drive over 100 miles for the evening, we arrived Friday. We have a pleasant and comfortable hotel room, with a view towards the docks. Sadly the weather has been a little very wet. This hasn’t spoiled our enjoyment which has been tailored towards shopping, eating and drinking rather than sightseeing.

The show was a bit of a disappointment. Many of the songs in the original broadway show have been removed and none of the cast performances were memorable. But after the show we enjoyed some bubbly and a few snacks before bed in our room. This morning, we are taking things slowly. A lazy start to Sunday.

Sinful Sunday
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The view

In the Moselle area of France we travelled through the deepest forest to find the remotely located Chateau du Falkenstein. We parked up and walked through a path in the woods. We passed some people taking photos of each other, Master declared that they would be up to something kinky once we were out of view. Climbing steadily upwards, we didn’t look back. The path to the castle wasn’t clearly marked, and for quite a time we couldn’t see our destination. The light isn’t so good in this shot, but getting to the base of the castle proper was just the start of a more steep climb. At this point we passed the only other people we saw that day in the locality. A man carrying his young son down on his shoulders. We, already struggling for breath nodded a good day and continued our climb.

At the top of the ruins the view was wonderful. But mainly comprised of trees. Lots and lots of trees. 

 

 

We sat down and paused for breath and water. Then we took a few photos of each other. I happily exposed myself for him (and perhaps the photos will appear at a later date). He did the same for me. This was my view. A pretty good one too. Then we climbed back down!

Sinful Sunday

 

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This drought

It is a ridiculous amount of time since I last blogged. The last time the blog drought was a month was, well I can’t remember.

On 16th June we went on holiday to France. A much needed break after a crazy past few months at work. I have been carrying a project while also doing my normal work for 6 months. In that time I have had a change in manager, dealt with the politics of a wider work regime change and generally got on with things.

But it isn’t just work. I have spoken before about my lack of libido. A busy work life and lack of time to recharge certainly hasn’t helped. Master has a bad shoulder (for the second time in as many years) and so our play time is also curtailed. The M/s part of our life is there, but it is implicit rather than explicit. Even to us.

I have had few ideas for blog posts and so over recent month kept to posting memes. But this isn’t what I want my blog to be about, really I don’t.

The holiday

We travelled to the Alsace-Lorraine area of France, passing through the battlefields of the Somme and Champagne region on the way. 16 days of time together, exploring new places, seeing new things and trying new food and wine. I found the experience of the Somme, most of which we covered in a day, extremely moving. The remnants of a war fought a 100 years ago. Then onto towns and cities where wars have been fought over a much longer time period. Castles and fortifications, churches and cathedrals. Places where we felt like we were in Germany, but the people were speaking France.

We were busy, packing lots of activity into each day. The feeling of tiredness subsided and the thoughts of work in the main left me. We often don’t have much sex when we are away. Not because we don’t want to, but because our preferred time for sex is in the mornings. And the mornings are often busy with getting ready to move to the next place, or else trying to fit breakfast in. Lame excuses but not really important. Things are good between us, so it doesn’t matter.

Or does it?

Home again

Back into work on Tuesday last week and I seemed to pick up the momentum just where I left off. By Friday afternoon I felt completely exhausted again. Perhaps not quite in the same way as I had when I left for France. My head was and is still clear, but I just feel weary. The hot weather this last week has added to it. So this last weekend has been one of pottering around, eating and drinking. Pleasantly reliving our holiday, discussing the highs and few small lows.

There has been no sex and no overt kink. I haven’t initiated anything and neither has he. I don’t think there is any thing wrong, but perhaps we need to discuss this? Perhaps as usual we will find our mojo and get back to it.

The blog

This blog is not about memes. I love to participate and to look to see what other sex and kink bloggers are writing and posting. But I don’t want this blog to be just about memes. This is meant to be a place I go to write about myself and my relationship. When nothing much is happening in my life other than work and drifting through a weekend, there is little to say.

But maybe there is a bit of chicken and egg to this. Perhaps I need to write and express my feelings about the lack of sex and play. Maybe I need to write some fun and sexy stuff to help us get in the mood. Maybe I need to write. Maybe by writing then the energy and zest for my slave life will return.

This has to be a start

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Reflections

For so much of the time I find that I barely notice my own reflection in the mirror. My hair as I brush it. The final check of my work outfit. checking my teeth as I brush them.

Sometimes though the mirror serves as a lens. A way of capturing an image. A reflection of me as others see me.  At the same time it is a way of really seeing and judging myself.

Many of my sinful Sunday shots involve mirrors. A way of catching my reflection. This is no exception.

Sinful Sunday
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Exposed in Spain

This weeks Sinful Sunday prompt is Outside Photography. This weekend we have been busy outdoors. I have been gardening including weeding, digging and planting my summer pots. Master, in turn has been sanding and filling. Plus he has fixed my toilet and planed down a door that was sticking. Last night we were like a couple of elderly folk with our stiff limbs, aches and pains. Still we got back up and out to our chores again today. What we haven’t been able to do though is to get around to anything naughty and fun outdoors. The neighbours were close and anyway the focus was our tasks.

So for this week’s Sinful Sunday I have trawled back through the archive and come up with this. Taken just over 2 years ago in Triana Spain, on the roof of the apartment in which we were staying. I have lost weight since then and my hair is shorter. But I am still proud of the photo and being exposed in Spain.

Sinful Sunday
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Important Questions: TMI Tuesday 30 May 2017

Important Questions

1. If you are on facebook, when was the last time you had to “unfriend” someone and why?

I unfriended Master’s ex after one final messenger altercation and the feeling that she was watching our every mood. Not sure now why I didn’t do it before. He has also unfriended her.

2. What are you addicted to?

Probably alcohol. I love the taste of it and am probably drinking far too much; I must cut back. Otherwise my phone, twitter, Facebook and all of that stuff.

3. What are the first 3 things you do every morning?

Apart from go to the loo and have a shower, they would be check my phone, make coffee and open my laptop!

4. How lucky are you and why?

I consider myself very lucky to have found new love after my long marriage. Lucky too that I have discovered the submissive in myself and that my new love is now my Master. Lucky that my son is happy and settled and that I am able to enjoy life to the full.

5. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try?

Not sure that I am embarrassed about anything, certainly not here on my blog.

Bonus: Are you proud of what you are doing?

I am proud that I am able to live my life the way I wish. however I wish I could be more open about the nature of our relationship to others.

————

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

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The mirror

Sometimes the area outside your hotel room can be much more elaborate than what is found inside. This was one of those occasions.

Sinful Sunday
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Still learning

This week I realised I am still learning about how to write for a blog. I recently offered to help Marie from Rebel’s Notes with the roundup and judging of Wicked Wednesday. She took me up on the offer and this week it was my turn; Marie will publish my top 3 today. The Wicked Wednesday prompt for the following week is posted on Saturday, along with the roundup and top 3 from the previous week.

I have taken part in a number of the regular memes that circulate the sex and kink related blog world, including Wicked Wednesday. They are a great way to focus on a topic, to share with a wider audience and to find new blogs to read. My own preference is posts about real lived experience and also opinion about life, love, sex and kink. Probably because those are the kinds of blog posts I write. Fiction doesn’t come easily to me as a writer and although I read plenty of fictional books of all genres I tend not to do so on blogs. I am not sure why, but when I browse blogs and find short stories I often pass by. That however might change now.

2517 and all that

This week’s prompt was about life 500 years hence in 2517. I fully intended to write a post and wanted to try some fiction, I even started the post. My thoughts centred around the idea that maybe our lives would have become simpler. Technology has advanced beyond recognition in the past 100 years. We use it to communicate, to make life easier, as labour saving devices, and to fight wars. What if communication such as we know it had led to war on such a scale never before seen? What if a re-evaluation of our lives and existence had taken place. I planned to link this to the idea of greater tolerance and the idea that I should be able to live openly as a slave if I wish.

But events in Manchester on Monday kind of derailed my thoughts. Suddenly I found it almost impossible to write about what was really my own utopia. Death, injury, fear, hurt and suffering were at the forefront of my thoughts and so I abandoned my post. I am sorry I did, but not sorry that I still had to read everyone else’s blogs.

Reviewing and judging

There were 12 posts to review, but when I began the judging process I had already read 3 or 4. Of course I needed to go back and refresh my memory and then read the rest. I was impressed by the imagination and creativity that had gone into creating stories around the prompt. Not everyone’s writing was about life in 2517, but a significant number were.

There is such an amazing talent of sex bloggers who write fiction, and to think I had been skipping over their posts. There were also a number of off topic tales and personal reflective posts. The task of judging a top 3 was much harder than I imagined – I chose my top 7 and went to bed late on Thursday night. Friday morning I quickly re-read those and came up with my top 3, in no order. Went out to run a few errands and came back with a clear order.

These were my personal choice, no one else. I fully expect that if another person reviewed the same 12 posts they might come up with a different top 3 or in a different order. But I took my role in this seriously and stand by my own list.

Final thoughts

Most of us blog for fun, a few manage to make money doing it. But what I have learned is that we do take the business of writing seriously. Some of us find writing easier than others, but there are some seriously talented people out there. I feel privileged to have been invited to judge Wicked Wednesday. It took a whole evening and a little more from my life, but it was worth it.  I take my hat off (well would if I were wearing one) to people like Marie who run memes like this every week. They put an enormous amount of work into helping people like me blog. I encourage anyone reading this who blogs to take part.

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View from above

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slave stuff

There was a time when pretty much all posts on this blog were written in the third person. Each sentence that might have used the pronoun ‘I’ began instead with ‘this girl’ or ‘she’. This blog was about a personal journey, about being trained and about learning how to please and serve Master. Somewhere along the line, that part has been lost from this place.

Never writing in the first person became challenging. There were occasions that I seemed more appropriate and gradually I replaced she. This girl, the slave was lost from the conversation.

But perhaps it is time to bring her back. Perhaps she needs that aspect of her life to get back to the slave she wants and needs to be. There is, deep within this slave a yearning to reclaim the structure and the rules. To focus back on what was agreed at the beginning of our relationship and part of that is acknowledging that this slave has no specific name. That she should refer to herself not as I but to recognise her status as an object or possession.

This girl

He always refers to her as girl. She is without a name, she is His slave. She is good at complying with the requirement to refer to herself in this way during sex or a scene. Less so at other times. The blasé way in which this girl approaches her slavery has led to other lapses in behaviour and often in forgetting her place and role.

These include wearing underwear (it is often cold and anyway the middle-aged body needs support), not wearing the butt plug, not asking if clothing is required. This list could go on.

But there is no chance that this girl has completely forgotten that she is His slave.

Being His slave always

He is Master. She rarely thinks or refers to him as anything else. This girl thinks about Him constantly and does consider whether the actions she takes are something he would be happy with. This happens most often at work, a place where he is never with her. She often takes time to reflect and wonder what he would say if He had been present.

There are times each day when she touches the tangible symbols of slavery. The collar, the nipple jewellery and sometimes even the clitoral hood piercing. They serve as a constant physical reminder a way of grounding one’s self.

When Master and slave are out together there are rules that are always followed. He keeps control of any tickets or passes. He takes total control in restaurants, though there is often discussion about choices. Plus at any time there is ambiguity, or the potential for disagreement it is His word that is final.

Master is Master and slave is the slave. But this slave feels that now is the time to back to basics. Back to what was agreed at the beginning and back to blogging for its original purpose.

Going forward there will be more posts where the pronoun ‘I’ is not used.

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